Thanks for the comments everyone. this was a great fight, and i'm certain it won't be the last time these two fighters face off.
It's funny, i took this in to get looked at by my comic teacher, and a lot of the things he said had already been mentioned here. I love the void, nobody here pulls any punches or coddles you on your artwork. great straightforward usfull critiques. Looking forward to next fight....
Hobbes, I bumped you up on Creativity because Mamoru's comic was basically a straight-up fight. I enjoyed the storyline and ending in yours, but I agree with everyone else - there's a fluidity in Mamoru's work; a freedom from restricting oneself to either profile, frontal or 3/4ths angle, that I think you still need to work on. Don't sweat the uninked pages. Just keep drawing! Great fights, both of you!
Both you guys did great on your battles, but the action in Mamoru's swayed my votes. While I still enjoyed reading yours Hobbes, your skill level seemed to somewhat drop as the battle went on. And I'm going to have to agree with Pi. 90 degree angles are good for talking sequences and such, but battles require more dynamic angles. I'm nowhere near an expert on angles, but Mamoru just had that edge.
Impressive work from both sides.
Mamorou - I can't see too many problems with your linework, I think you need someone with a better eye for detail than me. If anything, the second panel of the first comic page with Hobbes charging forward seems a bit off when I look at his raised arm, as if it's not formed right or something. Your fight scenes are beautiful, and I love the choreography. Been watching Tom Yum Goong? I await your next installment of Mize's epic story.
Hobbes - the biggest problems I see are perspective and figures. Your faces seem really flat and warped at times, like Aize's in the third panel of page 1. In panel 1 of page two, Mize doesn't match the background perspective, and he seems very bent out of shape. Some of your figures also suffer from Long-Neck Syndrome, I would suggest you work on that. Your fightind sequences could be more dynamic with use of more varied angles, not taking 90 degree shots to the subject, and making speed lines more apparent. Although, some of your really good panels are the ones without speed lines, so don't overdo it. But most (if not all) of page 4 could use more of them, to add that sense of movement.
Overall, good work from both of you.
nice effort Hobbes, good stuff. would have liked to see the last two pages finished. also you need a few transitional panels here and there, specialy in the last page where all of a sudden your char goes from one normal pose to a forward backflip kinda thing. but good stuff overall.
Mize, the action in this one is ESPECIALLY awesome. the best i have seen so far from you. the ending leaves me craving for the next installment. needs a wee bit more BG though.
all in all, good fight guys
there is no greater pain than that of knowing you have given something everything you have, and come up short. you were insufficient to the task. you tried, holding nothing back...and failed. the hardest lesson i've ever had to learn was to swallow my pride, and show my work anyway, and to try again, despite the bitter taste in my mouth.
the last two uninked pages will be inked and posted somewhere soon.
this is not a plea for pity, i mean this. i just wanted all of you to know how frustrated i am i couldn't finish the weay i wanted to.
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