whoa 10 pages kubo, nice... i see you definitely have alot of time on your hands which is good, i'll definitely take u up on your offer anytime you ready
Well, Kura, I thought throwing Satin in was pretty cool, but then Veronica just disappeared. Also, I didn't get who that first guy was. Maybe I just needed to read your char's bio, but I was pretty confused.
Kubo, you need to work a bit on your dialogue, IMO. Your characters sound pretty old-fashioned and serious about everything. Lighten up a bit, use more modern, realistic language, and you've got it. That aside, I love you're art style, and thought your fight was very entertaining- and easy to follow! It always bugs me when people have battles that are so crazy that I can never understand them. Your scar is awesome, lol.
Here we go.
Kura: I really like you're style. The detail and conveyance of movement were both really good but at the same time I really felt this was all your comic really had going for it, to be brutally honest.
It really didn't seem like you put much thought into the reason you might attack. I can understand that it might be difficult to measure the intentions of a new fighter because you don't have much to work with, but Kubo just jumping in and basically saying \"LETS FIGHT FOR NO PARTICULAR REASON\" seemed pretty baseline. I would have gotten more out of it if they, oh , I don't know, bumped into each other in the street and refused to apologize to each other. Also, I didn't understand why Kubo was disguised, much less as a person he doesn't even know. That and if he was disguised, why start a fight?
Call me crazy, but I really don't like fights where one party basically just beats the shit out of the other. Just seemed like a bash comic. Not even sure if you can call it a fight when someone beats the crap out of someone else and cuts off their nose.
Kubo: I'll begin with the usual \"screw you\" and mention, like everyone else, that it seemed a little stale. Now this may be some stylized thing well beyond my noobish comprehension, but the way you convey movement seems more like the fighters posing in front of a moving background. Kinda reminds me of what happens to the stars when they go into warp speed on Star Trek. At the same time, you sat down and colored all TEN pages. Gotta hand it to you for that. While most people may not believe this fits into quality, I do. Most comics in the U.S nowadays have a few more than 3 pages and are colored. You'd be well on your way through finishing a comic in the same amount of time.
Though the fighting coreography sorta set me off, you pulled through with a fairly creative victory. My one problem with the way you fought was that even though you two seemed to act like you were fighting on fairly even terms, Kubo somehow managed to get under Kura and perform these crazy kicks. Maybe a little lead in or a distraction to make her look up would have made it a bit more believable? Liking the scar too, man. Where most either go with some sorta cut on the skin or taking off a limb, you came in and burnt a shape into her skin. You effectively branded her. (Assuming you win, Speed Grapher boy.)
Taking into consideration the above comments, I still enjoyed the comic. Mighta been because the cover put me in a humorous mood, but you had a FIGHT. Most men wont let anyone hit them anywhere that close to the groin, but she double-slashed you right on the inside of the thigh. Why, a couple more inches and... Anyway, you had a short but sweet lead in, a good bit of back and forth, then a resolution. I would like to mention your dialogue, though. It seemed a bit stale as well and I don't believe Veronica would ever say \"prepare for the fight of your life.\" Seems like more the type to act in a superior, elegant XD manner and expect a quick victory via three-second beat down.
Anywho, thats my three cents. Good job both of you, I hate you, and I look forward to your next fights.
I already did--I said it didn't flow as comfortably! XD
But here, the delinated version: your first two pages follow with sharp, sketchy linework and solid bursts of concentrated speed lines. However, the third page gives way to large blobs of color, completely changing the style and the way the eye moves over the page. These soft colors and linework change the way we're viewing the comic, interrupting our reading by introducing different visual elements, causing us not to be as comfortable with reading it.
Kura: Not bad! Cleaner inks than what I've seen previously, heavy use of speed lines, but plot-wise, it didn't seem to move along as smoothly as Kubo's. However, I found your choreography to be pretty flat and straightforward, being a basic \"lock-exchange\" type of deal that never really held my interest.
Also, I noticed that your style seemed to suddenly SHIFT on your last page of colors--things didn't flow quite as comfortably as they did on the black-and-white pages.
Action Italian: All my thoughts on your comic, you either already know, or have been said. More motion, more \"grab you by the balls and throw you across the room,\" would be helpful for your work, because even though a static action panel gives a slow-motion kinda feeling, overusing slow-mo is something that tends to make an action scene less exciting than it should be.
A little more detail on the backgrounds, of course--although it's nice getting a sense of scale in this fight, seeing how most fights (even mine) tend to be pretty claustrophobic at times.
All in all, both fights are well-done, but my points rank just a notch higher to Kubo for overall consistency, and an overall more engaging fight.
Im an unknown person on the site,but Ill post comments anyway.
Kura:You have always been a favorite of mine.Your Quality,as always,is great.The last page seemed wonky for some reason.Your creativity is still amazing.That Satin girl that appeared looks amazing.I found it very entertaining so I gave you some good points.
Kubo: Your character is so HOT!!!But besides that Ive been looking forward your first battle.At times your characters seem to lack any movement so you lost a few points there.Im not going to rant because Veronicas personality is off because thats not all that easy to show at times.I really liked your cover page so I gave you good Creativity points.I look forward to your next battle
veronica- i must say im impressed, the quality of this fight was much higher than your others veery nice
Kubo- i liked yours too, tho n some places it seemed alittle flat and i think more dynamic action poses would really improve your stuff, just fuck about with the angles abit more yano?
Kura - I find it pretty amazing how much your style changes you when add colour, buddeh! What is it WITH you and ribbons?! Regardless, good fight, I liked it quite a bit. It was different, and I think even a level up from your last fight.
Kubo - Dammit, your character is a *hottie*. But anywhoo, not bad! I thought Veronica looked a little too manic at times, sorta out of character, and there were some points where her fan just looked sloppy, you could have easily added a bit more detail to some areas. I liked the pawprint at the end, I thought that was clever.
I rated you both pretty much equally, but I have Kubo one grade higher for Creativity, partly because of the page-length and I just liked his ending. ^^ Good fight, both of you!!
I should probably explain Fletch, it is a cuss word that he's been saying for a very long time, it was the last name of a famous person you turned out to be currupted and because of that if you ever lied you were called a Fletch. Over the centuries the word's meaning became distorted and now it can be used in place of almost every cuss workd.
Lmao.. xD Well for the record I never noticed any innuendos!
Veronica: Your uncolored art is pretty nifty, in the last page the colors had their ups and downs, but I'm not going to be that nitpicky. I do thing your penciled stuff is better, so maybe a little more focus on lighter and clearer coloring schemes. (Your style is awesome, by the way. xD) This is the first battle I've read from you, and I'm impressed.
Kubo: I have been waiting forever to see you battle! XD And I'm so glad I finally did. I'm sure you're workin' on your anatomy, all I can really add is, some background material would be dandy. Otherwise, I enjoyed it.
(Kubo, I also sentcha a message through Void, never done that before, so I have no clue if it actually sent.)
*Rolls eye* XD, that's what Mooo said, I will be doing a Cover Card for each of my battles, and they will not have any inuendos in it like this one seems to have for everyone.
This was my first comic in a while, I have learned a lot from working on it, I will do a lot better next time. I know now that my panels need more motion it them, I will work on that. Thanks for the comment.
Kura : I already mentioned this offline but I'll post it here. The quality of your pages are better in this fight than others (especially the last page), and there was a lot happening for the three pages that you submitted. I found that the story didn't move as much in this entry as it did in others, but within the boundaries of the fight itself it lends itself to enough possibilities to want to read what happens next. Also, removing noses is classy. =P
Kubo : Well, I'm glad to see your first fight match up to the quality of your intro pages given the time limit, and I'm impressed with how many pages you managed to pull out in that time. But I ranked you lower on your Entertainment and Creativity, mostly on part for the misrepresentation of Veronica's character. Granted, I imagine Kura didn't do a spot-on job either, but your scripting of Veronica is wrong on multiple aspects; no personality, style, attitude, even attack form ! Speaking of which, I found your action panels lacking in MOTION. Everything felt static, and there wasn't enough WHOOSH to what it represents (and a few lines coming off the foot doesn't really cut it). I also felt the fight took too long to read, so your pacing could be tightened up some to get all the good parts in one place.
And so, the Action Italian charges into battle--if you don't win this, Kubo, I'm kicking your ass in the real world.
Best o' luck to you, too, Kura. I know his weaknesses, and will gladly divulge them for a small fee. I do accept PayPal. XD
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