SilverBlaze's Incubation pod

*
Re: SilverBlaze's Incubation pod
« Reply #25 on: May 09, 2017, 08:26 AM »
Do you have any examples of human characters that you've drawn? Before a non-human character is accepted, we like to make sure you have basic average human anatomy nailed down too. Either showing that in your intro comic or here in the forum is acceptable.

*
Re: SilverBlaze's Incubation pod
« Reply #26 on: May 09, 2017, 09:53 AM »
I'll be including a human as a height reference on the finished ref sheet.

Not sure if this will count for you guys, but here's a drawing I did in September 2015.

It was part of a fanart pack I was doing. lol

*
Re: SilverBlaze's Incubation pod
« Reply #27 on: May 09, 2017, 10:41 AM »
Finished the rough sketch of page 3!
Man it was a tough one to figure out that last panel. :V


Time to rebuild Page 1 and 2 to fit the page size.

*
Re: SilverBlaze's Incubation pod
« Reply #28 on: Sep 12, 2018, 07:28 PM »
Time to get this show back on the road!
I'm getting Pichi Kean back up to speed and I'm going to be submitting her in by the end of the month!
That's my goal! >:U

Anyway. To start things rolling again, I'm going to post in the character information I have.



As you can see, Pichi's ref sheet is not quite finished. I have a few things left to do with it, but it's pretty close to ready.

Re: SilverBlaze's Incubation pod
« Reply #29 on: Sep 13, 2018, 12:17 AM »
Time to get this show back on the road!
I'm getting Pichi Kean back up to speed and I'm going to be submitting her in by the end of the month!
That's my goal! >:U

Anyway. To start things rolling again, I'm going to post in the character information I have.



As you can see, Pichi's ref sheet is not quite finished. I have a few things left to do with it, but it's pretty close to ready.
That ref looks pretty good, though when doing the ref for submission you may want to Pichi Kean on top since people may think that top design is the character they would be drawing. Other than that it looks pretty complete, hows the intro pages looking?

*
Re: SilverBlaze's Incubation pod
« Reply #30 on: Sep 13, 2018, 08:08 AM »
I'll only be submitting Pichi's sheet when I submit her. I also just noticed that the two images look like one image in the post. lol xb

As for the intro comic, The dialogue has been finalized, I still only have the last page 100% complete, but I'll start working on the rest of them again some time this week.
Here's page 1 and 2 in their final layout sketch/semi detail sketch states. Page 3 needs to be completely redone to fit with the script.



Re: SilverBlaze's Incubation pod
« Reply #31 on: Sep 13, 2018, 03:06 PM »
This comic looks cuteeeeee!!!!

*
Re: SilverBlaze's Incubation pod
« Reply #32 on: Sep 13, 2018, 03:26 PM »
I... I can't... Not read that as if it's being spoken by your icon.

*
Re: SilverBlaze's Incubation pod
« Reply #33 on: Sep 13, 2018, 09:54 PM »
Nice sketches dude! I hope you don't mind me just throwing some stuff out from what I've seen in these wips? Mainly, some zoomed out shots would be nice? Because aside from theee fifth panel of page one, there's really no fullbody shots of the characters demonstrated here nor will the reader get a good view of the environment they're in.

And also, when I first looked at these wips the first thing I noticed was the amount of speechbubbles that are crossing several panels when they don't have to. Especially in the last two panels of page 1, it's hard to stay focused on the supposedly intense  visuals (Even /if/ they're sketches) when the lengthy speech bubbles cut right into it. The 2 speechbubbles in page 2 (Panel 2 and Panel 3) that cut into other panels as well, it confused me as to how I'm supposed to be reading the page, which panel is the next one. And this could be solved by zooming out and/or rearranging the panels composition.

But looks good overall! Cute characters~

*
Re: SilverBlaze's Incubation pod
« Reply #34 on: Sep 13, 2018, 10:25 PM »
The 2 speechbubbles in page 2 (Panel 2 and Panel 3) that cut into other panels as well, it confused me as to how I'm supposed to be reading the page, which panel is the next one. And this could be solved by zooming out and/or rearranging the panels composition.

But looks good overall! Cute characters~

Yeah, page 2's bubbles still need some positioning work, and I did see the issue with the second bubble cutting into the "5th" pannel(middle right). I also agree that some of the shots could be pulled back a bit more and a couple tweaks made to the panel shapes as well. Lucky for me, I keep all my panel sketches on their own layers, so editing them isn't really much of an issue. ;b

As for page 1, again, bubble positioning could use a little tweaking before final. But generally, I'm happy with how Page 1 is set up. It's kind of meant to impose a sense of tension. Which is why I've chosen to keep the shots either close to the characters, or at strange semi-tilted angles.
As it goes from page 1 to page 4, the angles become more relaxed and inclusive of the whole area.
Once all the art itself is finished with backgrounds, lighting, and foreground elements, it'll be a little more effective than the sketch page is. :V

Thanks for the critique! I appreciate any and all feedback. ^^

*
Re: SilverBlaze's Incubation pod
« Reply #35 on: Sep 14, 2018, 09:23 AM »
Just wondering how this sounds, if there's anything I can make sound better.
Since page 3 is currently the page that's not yet been re-sketched, there's chance to design it much better. The current script that's posted here is already the redesigned page script, so it's generally what I'm looking for. I just want to know if it can be improved in some way.

Spoiler: show

PAGE [3] (Pichi's room) (resketch page, dialogue needs work)
  • Panel 1 (Pichi punches the wall)
    • Pichi: “Bitch!”

  • Panel 2 (Cat Butler hands Pichi her coat)
    • Pichi: “She’s a fool for being so complacent.”

  • Panel 3+4 (Pichi puts on her coat and stops in front of the door)
    • Pichi: “Our numbers are declining. Our resources are low.”
       - “I can not trust her to make the right choices anymore.”

  • Panel 5 (Pichi turns her head)
    • Pichi: “If I don’t leave now, everything will be lost.”
       - “Please take care of mother.”
    • Cat Butler: “Of course Ma’am.”

  • Panel 6+7+8 ({Vertical pannels} camera pans from in front of Pichi, over her head as she looks up to the sky and leads to the final page angle)
    • Pichi: (thought) “She wants everything to stay the same…”
       - “The world does not listen to wants…”
       - “But... maybe a wish…”


See previous pages for context.
« Last Edit: Sep 14, 2018, 09:31 AM by SilverBlaze »

Re: SilverBlaze's Incubation pod
« Reply #36 on: Sep 14, 2018, 09:54 PM »
Just wondering how this sounds, if there's anything I can make sound better.
Since page 3 is currently the page that's not yet been re-sketched, there's chance to design it much better. The current script that's posted here is already the redesigned page script, so it's generally what I'm looking for. I just want to know if it can be improved in some way.

Spoiler: show

PAGE [3] (Pichi's room) (resketch page, dialogue needs work)
  • Panel 1 (Pichi punches the wall)
    • Pichi: “Bitch!”

  • Panel 2 (Cat Butler hands Pichi her coat)
    • Pichi: “She’s a fool for being so complacent.”

  • Panel 3+4 (Pichi puts on her coat and stops in front of the door)
    • Pichi: “Our numbers are declining. Our resources are low.”
       - “I can not trust her to make the right choices anymore.”

  • Panel 5 (Pichi turns her head)
    • Pichi: “If I don’t leave now, everything will be lost.”
       - “Please take care of mother.”
    • Cat Butler: “Of course Ma’am.”

  • Panel 6+7+8 ({Vertical pannels} camera pans from in front of Pichi, over her head as she looks up to the sky and leads to the final page angle)
    • Pichi: (thought) “She wants everything to stay the same…”
       - “The world does not listen to wants…”
       - “But... maybe a wish…”


See previous pages for context.

All I could say is maybe a couple of those panels could be combined in terms of dialogue like panels 3+ 4 could be one panel of a dynamic shot of her putting on a coat as she walks out also separating the final 3 panels make the dialogue sound awkward just think of those taking the same time as the time between other panels and speaking it with that time gap sounds a tiny bit weird. But honestly that's a bit pedantic and there are no crippling story issues you need to worry about, Its a good cohesive story and we get to see the characters motivation for why they end up at void. However overall I will say the story is the least important part of the intro, so long as your panels are organized right and the font you are using is readable and bubbles decent you should be set. The intro is mainly a showcase of all the technical skills that you can consistently draw a character and backgrounds, I think you may also need a more humanoid character in the intro just to show you can do humans. But I think you could just make the butler that and be set.

 

Newest Comments -


Newest Characters -

 
KotSister KiteriaGhostThe Abominable Dr. HoangAshlanEgg DealerAstroleoAzu FloresSehemaThe ProfessorsTiffanyShmagic
 

Open Challenges -



Latest Topics -

 
All News, All The Time 
Last updated: Staff Bot - Sep 19, 2018, 10:18 PM
Post Apocalypse Jam: Redux (CAUTION: NSFW 18+ INSIDE) 
Last updated: Shen - Sep 17, 2018, 10:52 PM
SilverBlaze's Incubation pod 
Last updated: ArtsandGoodies - Sep 14, 2018, 09:54 PM
INTRODUCE YOURSELF 
Last updated: MightyMayhem - Sep 14, 2018, 04:38 PM
Challenges Thread 
Last updated: Dechado - Sep 12, 2018, 11:42 AM
 

Latest Members -


Users online -

 
64 Guests, 2 Users



Most Online Today: 68.
Most Online Ever: 1,050 (Aug 30, 2015, 03:43 AM)

 

About Us

We exist to provide an environment for artists to learn and improve their sequential art skills competitively. Our community is designed to give critical feedback and encouragement to our many members the world over, at all skill levels.

Follow Us