The Howling Chasm / Zoey

The Howling Chasm — Zoey

by Pita and Camel


73%
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10Page 11Page 12Page 13Page 14

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques



Critiques & Comments
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ArtsandGoodies
Think Tank
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144 comments
# 15   Posted: Feb 17 2019, 01:36 AM
Getting back from the battle royale i'm still not in the best crit from but I will provide my two cents.

First of all I love this style, all that hatching is super awesome. I also enjoy the choice of minimalist color, However I think it should have been used even less, like not all pages need an item of color since that ended up making them have not as much impact since it's used on too many items. I think it was just like the feather, the portal and maybe the halo's that would be enough to have an impact.

I also gotta say the story telling you're doing here is great, Doing one long running story throughout multiple comics is a really hard thing to do successfully hear but you have been doing it really well Pita and you have me itnerested in where you are taking this storyline further.

Radji
Artist
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502 comments
# 14   Posted: Feb 17 2019, 12:53 AM
Zoey's adventure is my new fav series on Void.
Now it's even being followed in higher places honhonhonhon

I personnaly really liked Camel's style here because it's on point with the ambiance of the comic, very DarkSoul-ish. In style and story. Love how one of my all time favorite Void Events (Ragnarok) is superbly used. Pocket is well used to not break the rule.  Loved how peeps thought it was Heratik ^^ that means the ragnarok was effective, everybody forgot the devourer of gods (wink wink)

Can't wait for next episode

Kozispoon
Approval Committee
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977 comments
# 13   Posted: Feb 13 2019, 05:25 PM
I have surfaced from battle purgatory to drop some piping hot crits!

What a neat collab from the two of you. It's always rad ti see two artists comic together to dedicate efforts on one character. Its a testament to how much you two either dig Zoey or were invested in the story. I'm not the biggest fan of this new web toon format, but I think it played to the comics strengths here as we follow Zoey into her descent. GREAT use of blacks from the get go.
Really gives a sense of the void (hyuk hyuk) of nothingness once Zoey makes it to the bottom.

I'll echo the nitpick with the color accents. I really thought the boot was going to be a neat focal point, but then we get the pit monsters eyes, and then the galaxy, heavenly halos etc. I think peppering the comic (which is fabulous as just black and white by rhe way) with various colors that feel more like an accent than serve the story muddled the message for me.

I also wanna make a note on story beats. When The format of your pages When you get to page three and get to that monstrous reveal of Pocket I feel gets weighed down with what you try to pack into a page. I think building up that reveal to a splash page where we get to see the full size and horror of whats in that pit with Zoey would've been cool as opposed to the small panel you afforded it.

Not gonna lie, character design wise, I thought it was Heratik too XD But it was cool to see these two interact and see the pair of you guys building up bigger machinations going on in heaven and earth. What's gonna go down once pocket's outta the pit? I GOTTA KNOW!

Julz
Artist
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359 comments
# 12   Posted: Feb 13 2019, 03:00 PM
I as well was like "oh, is that heratik?... nah"

Julz
Artist
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359 comments
# 11   Posted: Feb 13 2019, 02:55 PM
Wow guys, great comic!! The first page really sets the tone! I absolutely love the style and minimalist color. I feel like that was done right and done well. :) Page 3 panel 2, I think zoey is getting swiped here? Doesn't convey well. It's weird that the creature leaves her alone. I don't think that got explained. I love page 4. Its broken up into a composition that allows us some variety and that's a very nice touch. I think zoey wrapping up her foot is cute AF too. But then the monster comes back when the other shoes drops? What's up with that? Is it not the same monster? hmm.. just thoughts crossing my mind :P I think pocket is very cute. Why does zoey state her name in page 6, but then again in page 7. Maybe I dont get the joke? Last panel page 7, I mean. When she insists again her name is zoey. I don't see why she does that. Page 8 is beautiful. Especially panel 6. Colorful belly pocket looks cool. Nice work designing that. Page 12 panel 3 is hilarious to me. More Pocket please. Page 13, the whites and light greys dont pack as big of a punch as the previous pages. The lineart is looking a little sketchy. I feel like that's fixed in pg 14, with the intermittent starry sky in the bg behind the clouds, and the darker lined shadows behind the characters. Very interesting perspectives. My biggest crit here would be to work on natural dialogue that doesnt sound like its in a vaccuum, particularly between zoey and pocket. Thanks for hearing me out ;) Again, AWESOME comic. It is very aesthetic!

Fred v2.0.1
Artist
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473 comments
# 10   Posted: Feb 13 2019, 10:55 AM
gotta love that Zoey. Very good, very cute.

Pita
Think Tank
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154 comments
# 9   Posted: Feb 11 2019, 02:27 PM
Heathen: The only thing that struck me as odd, and maybe I’m mistaken, but Pocket is not supposed to be Heratik?
Quote

I'm laughing at the realization that oh.
Oh, this does look like Heratik.


Oops.

Heathen
Artist
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264 comments
# 8   Posted: Feb 11 2019, 01:09 PM
Willie D expressed my exact thoughts about the crosshatching used here, as well as the use of color.

Overall, I felt the inking on this seemed too messy and haphazard, but I like the look you were going for, and I was engaged by what was happening, so I still gave this a high quality score, but less than if the ink marks were more deliberate.

The only thing that struck me as odd, and maybe I’m mistaken, but Pocket is not supposed to be Heratik?

Because that giant beast encounter is so well done, and when it began to shrink down, I thought, “oh snap! I knew those yellow eyes seemed familiar!” And when his true form was revealed, I thought it was so cool how you handled Heratik’s introduction and eventual  reveal here, it was very suspenseful and earned, just a great payoff. And his design, like something from Where the Wild Things Are, I just love everything about him. But then he opened up his stomach to reveal a pocket dimension, and despite how cool that is, it made me realize, oh wait, is this not Heratik after all? And some of the enjoyment I was having was lost. Maybe that was my fault.

Hellis
Artist
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188 comments
# 7   Posted: Feb 11 2019, 01:27 AM
This is some excellent stuff art wise. I am in love with all that hatching. Zoeys story continues being one of my favorite on the site and I loved all of this.

William pretty much touched on what I was thinking better then I could. I hope to see more of zoeys story!

Monday
Artist
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920 comments
# 6   Posted: Feb 10 2019, 03:22 PM
Yooooo this stuff slaps ! :0

William_Duel
Community Manager
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903 comments
# 5   Posted: Feb 10 2019, 02:10 PM
Excellent job you guys.  Zoey has had and continues to have an interesting journey on Void and has tied in many other elements in pretty well.  The hatching work alone is a monument to the effort you guys have put in.  Storywise this is an excellent chapter.  I do want to discuss a bit though the issues I have with this hatchwork though.  

I want to preface this with talking about a tumblr post by a pro animator that came out a couple of years ago.  It was somewhat controversial in that everyone got up in arms about it.  But basically he pointed out that when you have a monochromatic drawing and you can have three values, your priority should be to use the lightest value (white) to bring attention to objects of interest.  The second value (gray) should be used for background elements to push them into the background.  The counter example he used was every object being render with all three values (black, white and gray) and how this didn't work out because it was failing to focus on what mattered.  So I see some of that here.  It's the natural instinct for artists, especially colorists, to want to detail everything in the same values because usually we use color to create distinctions.  Here you've got three values.  Black, white and grey (hatching).  But your compositions aren't balanced, your use of these values isn't helping to bring things like Zoey herself to the foreground.  There are a lot of instances where using less hatching on Zoey would have made the images clearer and more distinct.  In fact, with another approach you could have left her without any hatching at all and it would make the art stronger.

Two of my fave artists who did this kind of work are Gustav Dore and Bernie Wrightson.  If you check out their work you might understand what I mean.  The hatching/greys are used for all background elements.  And basically have the heavier crosshatched elements.  Meanwhile light and highlights are often used in the art on the central figures.   I'm not telling you need to crosshatch at their level because they were crazy skilled geniuses but there's definitely lessons you can learn from observing their work.  

The other thing is I would have actually liked to have seen some crosshatching.  As it is now, a lot of the lines are stacked and parallel and don't do enough to give form to the objects.  They don't give a sense of edge and roundness.  I can only tell you there that will come with practice.  So just keep practicing crosshatching to create a sense of volume.  

I'm not always a fan of the color highlights.  I don't think it really accomplishes what it should.  I think you need to stand back and look at where it draws attention to.  Because that's really what it's for.  It's a fourth value and it's drawing the most attention.  But is it hurting the composition is what you need to ask yourself.  And in the last few pages that lack the most black, it's competing with the lighter values and loses it's appeal.

All in all I really liked what I see here.  I think you guys did a great job at telling the story you wanted to tell.  What I've discussed here is just stuff to pay attention to in order to level up your art.

Radji
Artist
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502 comments
# 4   Posted: Feb 10 2019, 01:44 PM
FINALLY

Camel
Artist
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67 comments
# 3   Posted: Feb 10 2019, 08:29 AM
After a month of hard work, we finally finished this bad boy. I hope you all check it out!

Pita
Think Tank
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154 comments
# 2   Posted: Feb 10 2019, 08:24 AM
All pages are uploaded!

So, uh
do you remember a very specific royale from almost 3 years ago?

CREDITS
Inks and greyscale: Camel
Script, pencils, and colors: Pita

      Edited Feb 10 2019,  11:23 AM by Pita

Pita
Think Tank
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154 comments
# 1   Posted: Jan 3 2019, 11:51 AM
"I may be the only one who remembers now.  But maybe I don't have to be."

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3ClDwcM53DLI6tItODupVM

      Edited Feb 10 2019,  08:37 AM by Pita

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 4 weeks
Ended: Feb 16th, 2019
Votes Cast: 23
Page Views: 597

 

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