The Eight Bit Council / Virtua

The Eight Bit Council — Virtua


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Kozispoon
Approval Committee
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1003 comments
# 8   Posted: Jan 15 2019, 10:15 PM
MRPR- I'm not gonna lie. I have no idea what I just read.

I gave this comic multiple passes, but I'm still kind of thrown as to what is really going on- not to mention what's being said. I get the inference along the margins that you tried for a really cool build up of a narrative, but I don't think it hit the mark. Judging by the comments left on this battle, it seems to be the general consensus. You got some great advice below, so I wont repeat it, but I am actually super bummed that this comic reveals Virtua's manner of speaking isn't real and is actually an act. :<

Crocostyle
Artist
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34 comments
# 7   Posted: Jan 15 2019, 05:03 PM
I will say what others said, and emphasize your need to improve on writing.  A good exercise is to read critically-acclaimed web-comics.  Or watch videogame cutscenes on youtube (many have english audio with english subtitles).  You're on the right track to making comics though!  Keep up the good work.

Radji
Artist
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512 comments
# 6   Posted: Jan 15 2019, 05:05 AM
can't say anything about spellchecking I have the same problem. I'll echo what was previously said about the variety of shots, but i think that the decrease in entertaiment come from the fact that on Void, I see lot of peeps struggling with making transition type BB entertaining (i had the same problem) and I think that can be easily corrected

ArtsandGoodies
Think Tank
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159 comments
# 5   Posted: Jan 14 2019, 11:26 PM
MRpr I really enjoy this comic, You did a bunch of different variety shots in this and are working on improving backgrounds. Keep doing these types of pages with various far out shots and medium full body shots and you will get the technical stuff down. I will say the lack of a black outline on virtuas hair was slightly distracting since everything else is outlined. In terms of the story this was interesting build up for future events and I want to see you implement some of those polygon creatures with your regular art. I look forward to what you plan with this story.

Heathen
Artist
icon
284 comments
# 4   Posted: Jan 11 2019, 10:27 PM
I enjoyed this comic quite a bit more than your last one. Page 1 is really well done, the flow and reading clarity is strong. Page 2 loses it a little with the criminal flying into and immediately back out of the window. It took me a couple reads of that page to get what happened. Definitely could have executed that sequence better, but I like the idea and what it was there to show.

I’ll echo Fred and Desi that you’re losing quality and entertainment points on the writing. I think English is not your first language, so a lot of your dialog is clunky and at times incoherent. Get a fellow Voider to give your dialog a read, there’s no reason to have your scores dragged down by that sort of thing.

I’ll also agree that your backgrounds need more attention, but at least I knew more or less where things were happening in this comic.

Overall, a decent comic. It was fun seeing Virtua get manhandled by a cyber baby.

Desichan
Think Tank
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166 comments
# 3   Posted: Jan 11 2019, 05:07 PM
I'm sorry Mrpr but i really had no clue what was going on throughout this, I agree with Fred that proofreading and spellchecking could be rather beneficial for you, and honestly a lot of the layouts and story structure confused me greatly.

Like... im struggling to determine what really happened on page two, and most of this comic just had me lost. You have a good habit of drawing your characters very consistent, and the emotions are usually very clear!  i feel like giving more love to your backgrounds, and even delving more in shading techniques could do wonders for you!

Fred v2.0.1
Artist
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475 comments
# 2   Posted: Jan 9 2019, 10:53 AM
mrpr my dude get your stuff proof-read or at least spell-checked, it's rather distracting from the story you're trying to build. I would have liked to see more done visually but it is enough to introduce the concept you needed to bring in, and I think that's the important part here and on that, I'm intrigued enough. I'll look forward to what this might bring.

Astro Sean
Approval Committee
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308 comments
# 1   Posted: Jan 9 2019, 09:25 AM
Yo, why Virtua slacking so hard on her job? She seems mad bummed out!

No, but seriously, this is a solid comic from ya Mr. PR. The story was simple, but it got the point across well and it's opening a whole new arc for our beefy bruiser here! I can tell you there was some panel layouts that had me confused on page 2, but it looks like you recovered quickly and recreated a solid and cohesive read. That last panel on the last page might be my favorite in the comic. It just tells the emotion in the atmosphere so well. I have to say your world building is a real treat and I can't wait to see what you got cooking up next.

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Jan 15th, 2019
Votes Cast: 15
Page Views: 432

 

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