Interlude / Cadenza and Talon

Interlude — Cadenza and Talon

by cats and Badger


996 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10

tags: cadenza, talon



Critiques & Comments
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Energy
Artist
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116 comments
# 15   Posted: Oct 28 2018, 08:49 PM
Great work you two.

Desichan
Think Tank
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148 comments
# 14   Posted: Oct 28 2018, 05:56 PM
This comic is cute, and I enjoyed reading it a lot!!! I can't really think up much criticism, this looks super professional!!!

Also im shocked how long it took me to notice Cadenza's cute coat pocket GOSH ADORABLEEEEE.

Good comic, I enjoyed it! And I think the only criticism I have is that scene where they start yelling at eachother out of nowhere, it'd feel more natural, if Talon stayed as is, with the aggressiveness he displays out of shock of what she did, but if she seemed more taken aback, it'd be more natural because I feel like she'd have a bigger transition from being yelled at, to getting back on the offensive. It seems tonally inconsistent.

Happy November 20th! -Reecer6
Artist
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222 comments
# 13   Posted: Oct 28 2018, 12:44 AM
this is a nice little touching bonding comic!! they are united by how painful they are. gives off a wonderful tone and is effective both on its own and as a development of each other's angstories! thumbsup!!!

also you namedropped my characater a lot so i have to like it

      Edited Oct 28 2018,  12:44 AM by Happy November 20th! -Reecer6

Astrodile
Artist
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71 comments
# 12   Posted: Oct 26 2018, 01:53 PM
God this comic is so good, like i really don't have anything to say because you two make a VERY powerful collab team. I'm hoping to see more comics of yalls characters because this is a very engaging introduction to their friendship!!

Hellis
Artist
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163 comments
# 11   Posted: Oct 26 2018, 11:37 AM
This is how you do a meet and greet style narrative and actually have it matter.

Great job you two. Your styles mix extremely well and really do the is sum greater then its components impression. Not that you are not both excellent artists, but this is my favorite thing out of either of you. There are many reasons for this, so I'll try my best to spell it out/break it down. It might help other who like your comic to draw inspiration and learn. Or it might not. Either way here:

1: Atmosphere

You guys do an excellent job using the colors to not only mask the fact that you have very simple backdrops half the time, but to carry each panels mood over to the next one. Little shifts, gradients and and shadows that meld together very well.  There is a sense of gloom to Talon that I feel encompasses his situation very well and it carries over to the reveal of what Cadenxas hands are like now.  

2: Narrative Focus: I wont lie, void is plagued by non-consequential meet and greet comics. One of the reasons why I feel this way is that most of the time, there are no stakes, no conflict or any sense of progress. There is also almost never a sense of focus. You two avoided this by immediately throwing out the first narrative thread/hook with both being students of invyn. This is nice, becouse it implies Invyns involvement, giving others like Cro more stuff to work of. It also provided a good mutual interest point thats natural and makes it seem less random. The parellel of the curse/lack of magic drives the narrative and works as its focus after that. It follows trough to the reveal, with a satisfying ending that is easy for either party to build on.

Bravo. A+

3: Character Portrayal/Development/Building.

Both character are given a point for others to build from. There are some slight hiccups in the writing, what with some over the top reactions, as Heathen stated. But I honestly felt they were fine because there was a sort of tenseness to the comic from the moment the two met. This was just a solid job I feel, really happy to see both these characters and I feel more invested in both as a result.

Astro Sean
Think Tank
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285 comments
# 10   Posted: Oct 25 2018, 04:12 PM
Great chemistry and a solid comic. Good work!

Crocostyle
Artist
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26 comments
# 9   Posted: Oct 24 2018, 05:40 PM
FINALLY I am not superduper late on commenting!  I just wanna gush for a bit, I love the comic so, so much!  It's like, I would pay money for this shit!  It's just an amazing story, two of the most loveably flawed characters on Void, and fantastic art across the board!  I cannot critique this with any authority, as this is as good as I can imagine a comic can be.  You guys are an amazing team. Well done!

William_Duel
Community Manager
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894 comments
# 8   Posted: Oct 23 2018, 05:21 PM
I love this.  This was a really fun story.  I am continually interested in Cadenza's story and this worked so well with Talon.  Great job guys.

Heathen
Artist
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225 comments
# 7   Posted: Oct 23 2018, 04:11 PM
This was, overall, a nice little comic. Whoever lettered this did a great job with the balloon placement. Nicely done.

Cadenza's sudden appearance on the first page could have been telegraphed better by having a shadowy figure tailing Talon in the first panel, and maybe like a shadow creeping up on him in the next.   Or maybe show Talon from a voyeuristic angle, as if we're watching him from a nearby alley. Something to tell us that he's being followed.

Watch the scale of buildings and mundane objects in the world. A cartoony style doesn't exempt your world from making sense. The doorway into Talon's apartment should be at least a head taller. Compare it to the archway into the kitchen. Also be careful not to let your character's proportions veer too child-like. I believe both of these characters are late teens-early twenties?

There's some very good acting going on here, but there are two instances where it goes a little too far and doesn't quite work, and it's when Talon gets angry or outraged. First on his stoop, he turns and has an outburst when asked about his mentor. He doesn't know Cadenza, and yet he acts like she's been annoying him for a while and he's had it. His demeanor in this scene would likely be one of mild annoyance, and dismissiveness. He's just trying to go inside, some girl's asking about his mentor, he's just gonna brush her off.

The second is when she tells him how she got cursed, and they have an anime moment where they shout at each other. I get that he has an understanding of things she doesn't and he can't believe she'd be so dumb, but again, it's odd that he'd be so openly outraged by it. Hasn't he seen and heard of normal folk doing all sorts of stupid careless stuff with forces beyond their comprehension? I dunno, it seems like he should just be mildly amused, or kind of judgmental, but it comes off more... urgent, somehow. As if what she's just said has some immediate ramifications that involve him, but it doesn't.

Lastly, if you look at the thumbnails, you can see there are a lot of flat angle shots of characters standing. I really like how you have both characters looking at and interacting with props in the environment, but the camera angles are pretty boring. I don't think there's a panel with any real depth being created by having foreground elements framing and pushing back the characters in the space, save for 8.1, and kind of 3.2. I like the use of the first panel here as a shelf to set the scene, though.

Solid comic, and good work from both of you guys.

Golden
Artist
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32 comments
# 6   Posted: Oct 22 2018, 04:47 PM
I am near TEARS at the last line! This was so nice to read and seeing these two interact was a delight!

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
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1390 comments
# 5   Posted: Oct 22 2018, 09:59 AM
Great job you two this is a real good hybridization

No notes from me, I honestly thought it was professionally solid~ keep making more

Shen
Global Moderator
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1238 comments
# 4   Posted: Oct 21 2018, 11:12 PM
Oh this was so lovely! Great character chemistry and the art is fantastic, Cats' colours on Badger's inks is a gorgeous collab! I'm so excited to see where things go here for both of them! haha Talon, you cant avoid the musical magical girls, and Cadenza attracts a  lot of death magic types XD I dont know what to crit, I love this!

Wubble
Think Tank
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90 comments
# 3   Posted: Oct 21 2018, 10:57 PM
This was a nice read, really liked the color palettes and tone.

Apart from awfully empty frames at times, the general consistency across panels is solid. First page, panel 7 especially feels empty, making me feel that the house exists in it's own plane nowhere - needs more detail in backgrounds, I know cityscapes and buildings are annoying, but second page clearly demonstrates there is skill and motivation to design and draw proper sets.

The whole potted plant thing was mostly well put: setting up an inquiry for the reader by pointing out the wilted plants, showing both the plant and that it's at the edge, and later demonstrating that the bookcase is wobbly, ending with the plant dropping on Talon's head, giving payoff not only to the wobbly too-close-to-edge potted plant and the inquiry on wilted plants and why watering them won't help.

I did say mostly, here. There are couple pieces here that are not well executed: first showing the plant (page 3) and showing it had moved after Talon bumped on the bookcase (page 4) both are hidden outside my focus, especially the one aftermath - it is blending in the background in a corner behind a speech bubble (which might work as a trick to show it to the reader) making them hard to distinguish from static environment and thus readers can become blind to them. The final pay off comes out of nowhere, as Talon nor Cadenza touch or bump the bookcase in a way that would push the plant over the edge. It looks like it just jumps at Talon, avenging it's fallen brethren.

I liked the contrast of warm cadenza trying to play piano and Talon in the coldness of blue, but this contrast was dropped the very next page and I see a missed opportunity to use these colors to warm up Talon's panels as he begins to warm up to Cadenza.

All in all good job y'all, can't wait to see more from you!

      Edited Oct 21 2018,  10:59 PM by Wubble

ArtsandGoodies
Think Tank
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100 comments
# 2   Posted: Oct 21 2018, 10:47 PM
This was a very good job on both of your parts. This was a good story and building of a relationship that was well done. I really enjoyed this and don't really have anything i can think of critique wise for this.

cats
Artist
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37 comments
# 1   Posted: Oct 21 2018, 10:15 PM
Hi guys!
Just wanted to add that the script and coloring were done by me
Badger provided the lovely sketches and inks!

Thank again for the collab <3

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Oct 28th, 2018
Votes Cast: 21
Page Views: 381

 

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