Elle vs. Arena

Elle vs. Arena


368 points
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427 points
Page 1




Critiques & Comments
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Happy October 20th! -Reecer6
Artist
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218 comments
# 15   Posted: Aug 3 2018, 12:43 AM
whoops i'm late but i ought to give this some mention because LOOK THERE'S ANVIL THERE SHE IS!!!!

Teeds: Agreeing that the white phosphor thing is really clever! It's good to see Arena isn't completely unstoppable. It's a shame it's unfinished, because everything seems super solid except for that! Seconding Julz' idea to have just recolored it black (and probably upped the contrast) because I totally would've been fooled into thinking it was a final product. :V

Pyras: Very clever storytelling framing, and pretty powerful despite the short length! (I guess that's the problem with the artful extended one-pagers, the lack of a page break removes some sense of time passing from it.) You really mastered the composition here!

ArtsandGoodies
Think Tank
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84 comments
# 14   Posted: Aug 2 2018, 11:05 AM
TDK: My favorite part of your comic is that even with it only being pencils and no shading you still kept the small detail of the charge under the table throughout the comic. I didn't really notice it on my first read-through so reading through it again I love how you always keep it there and hidden in plain sight. also using white phosphorus was pretty cool to stop Arena.
The only part I have a problem with is Arena saying "No Worries" she was freaking out earlier and it makes sense since she doesn't ever come across stuff that can really stop her, so even though she managed to find a way out of it she would still be uneasy like maybe her expressing more relief would have worked better.

Pyras: I feel bad for Elle in this and I like the whole overall situation. Also your linelessart is amazing and i also love the textures you put on it. the only thing I could say is maybe it could have helped to put some TV filter over sections that were the news report, I originally though the  panel showing Arena's flashback was part of the broadcast which was weird since i had no idea how they would get there. Other than that this was really enjoyable.

Desichan
Think Tank
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138 comments
# 13   Posted: Aug 1 2018, 10:38 PM
I'm gonna be honest here, I'm pretty sure I'm as far out of your guys's target audience as can be, so I'm probably not gonna go too indepth on some things.

What I will say however is Teeds, you have a great amount of work done. You can really tell you put a lot of effort into this, and I say this is really well done! I think the only thing holding it back is some really bizarre seeming text, and the fact the majority of your lines are red. Regardless I think this is pretty solid work, and the story feels finished.

Pyras, I actually have a few critiques for you here. For one, Elle's face, in five different panels, looks almost exactly the same to me, it feels there's very little variation in how its done at all, one time it looks like its just smaller than the others, but there's essentially four head closeup panels that look almost identical. Your story feels very incomplete, and honestly, it really shows that this was not made in a three week time period, which you did say was the case. I feel like there's a bit of lifelessness to the way you draw faces as well, they seem quite dead due to a low amount of tone variance, which gives off a sickly pale feel, and the lines for the eye feel particularly jarring when compared to the rest of the art. Else than that however, I feel have excelled in some of your paneling structure as well as you have utilized color in a way that definitely improves the quality of your comic a lot.

Crocostyle
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18 comments
# 12   Posted: Aug 1 2018, 08:46 PM
As usual for me, this was tough to judge.  Both have strengths and weaknesses, and it's pretty tough calculating something as ambiguous as "quality" and "creativity" here.

TDK- This was a great thriller.  But unlike Julz, the lineart with lack of shading really put a damper on excitement for me.  The scene with phospherous melting Arena was really great though!  I feel there was a bit too much talking on Arena's part, but it did help me understand what was going on.  Maybe manga-style thought-bursts would have fixed that.  I do feel the end a bit confusing as well.  Why did Elle say "hope Arena isn't too mad about this"? did she know Arena survived?  Maybe if you showed Arena's announcement play as Elle blows up the facility (besides that scene felt a tad empty anywas so some extra speechboxes wouldn't hurt).

Pyras- For being just one panel, this had a lot of good stuff packed in. I love the red pixel-like blocks marking the start and end, like a monitor feed.  The main issue is just length.  I was so invested I was really bummed when I got to the end knowing i'll not be able to find out what happens next.  However the fact that I got so into it from the start is a great sign.  I feel all the mysterious clues, like the 4 figues, the small flashback, really helped in that regard.   One nitpick, for the news announcement, they usually give an estimate even if they don't know. Usually they can go by the number of people that came to the event minus the ones that made it out safely.  Oh, and the clean coloring definitely enhanced my enjoyment of this.

Minteh
Artist
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250 comments
# 11   Posted: Aug 1 2018, 08:25 PM
These are both super good!

TDK: obviously it's unfinished which sucks, but what you have here is super clean and super easy to follow, it was really enjoyable as a story.  I know the first two pages were necessary for pacing, since you probably don't want to just drop arena walking into a puddle, but I wonder if it was too long/had some unnecessary panels?  Something about those first two pages don't fully Jive with me, it's kind of like "thing happened, now this".  I'm just being picky about it though.

I really liked your anatomy and movement throughout, and there were lots of great hooks that got me super invested like Julz said.

Pyras: I think I missed previous comics, so I wasn't really catching some of the references, like the avalanche that Arena references.  I'm assuming it was something in the Holiday comic, but that's a tall order to sift through!  I really liked the reveal of Elle's current state in your comic, it's always an interesting and scary thought to have a digitized memory and being tampered with, it really makes me feel for Elle.  on that front I think the writing was strong, short, and just enough.  I do feel there are some spots that could be a bit cleaned up, like the vertical lines in the background of panel 4, and breaking up the textures a bit.  In the last panel with both Arena and Elle the furthest wall and the slab Elle's hanging from feel 'attached' to me because the texture overlaps both sections, so it looks like one piece due to the patterns connecting on those edges.  It's not really noticeable in too many other spots, and it's super effective with the stadium shots.

Julz
Artist
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337 comments
# 10   Posted: Jul 28 2018, 06:15 PM
TDK- Oh man I was at the edge of my seat worrying about Arena there!! Haha wow what was such a cool idea, real investment there had me forgetting about the red unfinished lines! Speaking of which, why not just recolor the red lines black to make it look less unfinished? Could have been worth a few extra points you never know. I love the natural dialogue. It's too often the dialogue on void is forced and chopper. Page 3 panel 2 suspicious noises could have been replaced with like a scuffle or something, maybe creaking floors, i dunno, anything but that lol XD Page 3 panel 4 Arena peeking lol.  Page 6 impressive looking arena. Should have at least finished that one for us ;__; Page 7 panel 2 looks squashed. PHOSPHORUS AAHH EXCITINGGGG Arena dealing with the phosphorus was such good pacing and I dunno I just loved it. Really wish these pages were finished I wanna see it in better detail as her skin burns and melts into glass. Using chemistry as a plot device is so fucking cool. Then she finally gets over it and... lol.

Pyras- I think you said you had some time restraints but seriously, this looks really nice XD I think its the way you color fast and throw on the texture makes even a rush job look semi pro. Ahh Elle is so spooky when she's screaming at arena, it's a good feel. Arena is sooo pretty with these blue colors. I know I told you that earlier though. Good end. Great comic.

TWO GREAT COMICS THANKS GUYS!!

Shen
Global Moderator
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1222 comments
# 9   Posted: Jul 28 2018, 05:30 PM
Teeds: The phosphorus was a cool idea! I like that Elle was just as surprised as Arena, shes been nigh unkillable for so long its hard to imagine anything would work. I almost wish at the end you'd shown a little more battle damage than "no biggie thats a quick fix" it might have been interesting if she'd stayed wounded a minute longer. I'm sad to see you couldn't find the time to ink it but at least it's an entire story so thats good. Cool fight scene.

Pyras: I dunno what other people think but I love this infinite canvas webtoon style comics! I thought the pacing and layout in this was great! fantastic sense of drama and I liked the pixelated "coming online". I can't believe you did this in two days holy wow lol I dont even really have a crit, how did you do this in two days?? DO THIS MORE

Ten Dead Kings
Artist
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268 comments
# 8   Posted: Jul 26 2018, 10:56 PM
Uploaded.

Work stuff kept getting in the way, so I had to rush this super-hard as well.

Oh this happens a short time after Kurt vs Anvil, by the way.

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
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1377 comments
# 7   Posted: Jul 26 2018, 10:36 PM
uploaded~

Although it's finished, I only had 2 days to work on this comic :( I hope it's up to snuff for y'all

As I said before this is a continuation of the comic linked below

Arena and Elle are old allies, and Elle and Johnny are together, (comic also has some returning problems from Arena vs G.Swan) I think that's all you really need to know about past lore info if you care about that

Julz
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337 comments
# 6   Posted: Jul 23 2018, 10:58 AM
EXCITING YES

Ten Dead Kings
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268 comments
# 5   Posted: Jun 30 2018, 11:42 AM
Forgot to comment RETRIBUTION here to confirm yes we're doing it :V

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
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1377 comments
# 4   Posted: Jun 29 2018, 06:07 PM
my comic will be working off this collab TDK and I did, which happened back in Greece's winter party:

https://sta.sh/2x4dh86zcdm

      Edited Jun 29 2018,  06:11 PM by PyrasTerran

Shen
Global Moderator
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1222 comments
# 3   Posted: Jun 28 2018, 03:45 PM
eyyyyyy! PUT UP A GOOD FIGHT!

Orion
Artist
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179 comments
# 2   Posted: Jun 28 2018, 03:35 PM
Friends turned enemies! Hark and applaud!

Looking forward to this one!

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
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1377 comments
# 1   Posted: Jun 28 2018, 03:18 PM
RETRIBUTION

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 3 weeks
Ended: Aug 2nd, 2018
Votes Cast: 22
Page Views: 584
Winner: PyrasTerran

 

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