Magic Mayhem, Round 1 / Tiffany vs. Lilyfeather

Magic Mayhem, Round 1 — Tiffany vs. Lilyfeather

by Bobo


439 points
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438 points
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Critiques & Comments
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ArtsandGoodies
Artist
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31 comments
# 12   Posted: May 27 2018, 07:42 PM
bobo: This ideas in this story were pretty interesting with Mortimer coming in to be a general bothersome person. However, I felt like this had too many characters and elements introduced to quickly that it got kind of confusing and I wasn't able to get all that invested into the story. I think mainly this is with Holden suddenly coming in with a conflict that gets completely sidetracked by the stuff with Mortimer, and ultimately Holden's stuff doesn't get resolved in this. I feel like if he was written out and more time was spent with Mortimer's interactions and to let stuff develop that, like giving some more time to explain the skull would have been nice. Also My favorite page was page 11 and really liked the layout of that.

Desi:  I like the cutsey surrealness of this comic, the lack of backgrounds doesn't really bother me for that reason I think. Maybe in future comics when you do backgrounds you could try to make them really surreal, I think that would suit your style and would be fun to see. Though next time you should work on changing the layouts  to compensate for text which i do think should be also more unified.  I also really like the limited color pallet in this.

Bobo
Web Dev
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850 comments
# 11   Posted: May 26 2018, 02:57 PM
@kozi: augh, yeah I realized way too late that I didn't give Lily enough time in the spotlight. Maybe I'll feature her in my next battle and just create a chain of using my opponents' characters the battle after I actually fought them XD

Thanks everyone for the comments and votes! And thanks Shen and Desi for the awesome match! I can't wait to do more with these two :)

Kozispoon
Approval Committee
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928 comments
# 10   Posted: May 26 2018, 11:07 AM
BOBO- Right off the bat this was alot. So many pages in so short a timeframe- WOW! From Tiffany's intro comic, its great to see her in a tournament and matched up in the first round with a great plot device- her own creator! I was excited to see what character development and progression we'd see right off the bat. I feel there's so much fertile possibility of content between these two, I was surprised to find that you didn't really let them interact at all. Both Tiffany and Lily dealt with one another through proxy's. You added Holden and then Mortimerr that it felt like more of a battle between them than Lilyfeather. If anything, Lilyfeather just felt like an unfortunate bystander, if not supporting cast.
Also you dun got me with that radical establishing shot of the mall. Really great setting to the story, but then when we get to the meat of the plot, these folks are talking and interacting in space.

DESICHAN- Your comic has all the hallmarks of a sweet Desi: saccharine sweet characters, cutsey obnoxiousness and sparkles and hearts everywhere. I admire that you have a brand and look and you fully commit to it no matter the opponent. Lucky for you, Lilyfeathers defacto progeny couldn't of been a better match up! I fully encourage you to keep up this look because its very you, but I'd definitely advise tightening up techinal things like your layout and composition. I don't know what your word bubbles are crammed in corners or bleeding off the page, but if you plan ahead and compose your panels with room for word bubbles in mind, it would help avoid issues of congestion.
Also treat ALL elements of your comic with the attention and care you give to your two main characters. Its clear what your favorite things are based on how much time you've depreciated to drawing it. Like, I know you really enjoyed designing the outfits Tiffany's wears, but you  spare so little time rendering the backgrounds and even the books they're checking out on page 11, they're little more than rectangles with scribbled text.

Shen
Global Moderator
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1179 comments
# 9   Posted: May 22 2018, 05:59 PM
everything i say is going to be bias to screaming, its so odd seeing your own character in a battle you didnt draw XD

Bobo: What a fun story! having Tiffany get turned against Lily was so heartbreaking! i would LOVE to see more about the relationship between Tiffany and Holden and im so happy you included him, though he doesnt do an awful lot ^^; you probably could have written it just as well without him, not that im ever sad to see him. I did like Mortimerr as the villain, what a jerk XD theres probably stuff to properly crit but i dont have it in me, im too charmed LOL

Desi: HNNGG THIS WAS SO CUTE! the style and the colours and the friendships, you were the best person to draw a Lily comic in my stead! XD im glad you included Satin, she was so adorably angry! I think more could have been done to establish backgrounds and pull the camera out a bit more for establishing shots when they changed locations but gosh this does my heart good thank you i love it~

yarnwitch
Artist
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160 comments
# 8   Posted: May 21 2018, 09:11 AM
@Bobo daaaaaaang. Good writing and still lighthearted! I love it! I was a teensy bit confused about mortimerr and the ending, but its not so far out of place that i can't roll with it. (It made me slightly forget it wasnt an sdt)

@Desi OH WOW, okay so this worked nice, and i love that you added Satin in. I like the limited coloring for this, and the sweet colors kept the tone light! My big concern is mostly not being very clear on what was happening during the magic spell.

This was too perfect of a cutesy matchup! Great job both of you!

Dechado
Artist
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208 comments
# 7   Posted: May 21 2018, 08:51 AM
These two were really sad, how dare you. aaaaaaaaaaaa

Desichan
Artist
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102 comments
# 6   Posted: May 20 2018, 02:32 PM
OKAY SO I GOT MY COMIC SUBMITTED! LET'S SEE HOW BAD I LET SHEN AND BOBO DOWN!

(Also due to real life issues its not as complete as I wanted it to be BUT LIKE WHATEVER, it's 18 minimally colored pages, and I hope you all like them! Or if you don't, that you guys don't like stone me or whatever)

I had fun drawing this comic, and I can't wait to see my (amazing) opponent's comic too!

Kozispoon
Approval Committee
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928 comments
# 5   Posted: May 7 2018, 12:16 PM
Haha, get ready to meet your maker!

cats
Artist
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23 comments
# 4   Posted: May 7 2018, 12:08 PM
Wow this is like the most perfect fight!! It's going to be an overload of magical cuteness lol
Good luck you two!!

Shen
Global Moderator
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1179 comments
# 3   Posted: May 7 2018, 09:14 AM
THIS IS THE BEST MATCHUP I COULD HAVE HOPED FOR
SORRY BOBO ILU BUT I HOPE DESI KICKS YOUR ASS XD

Desichan
Artist
icon
102 comments
# 2   Posted: May 7 2018, 08:04 AM
WELL THIS IS HILARIOUS! XD I Thought it'd be way too amazing for us to face off first round for it to actually happen! BUT WOOP WHADDAYA KNOW LETS DO THIS! I wonder how it'll go? Haha you're totally gonna kick my butt, Bobo, my good friend! BUT IM GONNA DO MY BEST TO WIN!

Bobo
Web Dev
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850 comments
# 1   Posted: May 7 2018, 07:58 AM
I was hoping for this to be in Round 2, but I guess it's happening sooner than expected! Good luck, Desi! (You're gonna need it mweheheheheh (jk I'm the one who needs luck O-O))

Comic Details -

 
Type: Tournament Match
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: May 27th, 2018
Votes Cast: 24
Page Views: 354
Winner: Bobo

 

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