Be Witch / Remy Naufrage vs. Melchom

Be Witch / Remy Naufrage vs. Melchom

Be Witch — Remy Naufrage vs. Melchom


577 points
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509 points
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Critiques & Comments
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Astrodile
Artist
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45 comments
# 18   Posted: Apr 10 2018, 11:26 PM
Honestly, both of these comics were such a joy to read, great jobs on both ends!
The others have no doubt said what I could've, but I'll try and put in my two cents anyways.

Kozi: Lovely, lovely work! It was great to see these two interact, as well as a tinge about Lu. While taking a read-through for the second time, it became more noticeable that the comics coloring became more rushed at the end, as well as the panels placement cutting into others as well, but even then it didn't take away from the comic at all. When I first read page 8, it was difficult to understand what was happening in the last three panels, but now I can safely assume that Remy's just playin' a trick of the hand with that lil' object there haha. The ending was certainly a hop from Remy and Melchoms interaction, so perhaps an indication of time passing would've been helpful to clear that up? But regardless, impressive work!

Brent: You have supplied us with SUCH an impressive amount of pages in only 2 weeks! And all of it was a delight to read, I really am excited to see more from you <3  As others have said, there are moments where the dialogue is a bit too much, but I certainly wasn't against reading it. With the throw-in of Lu into the flashback of these two, I wish I could've seen more of her in the flashbacks as well, to see what spawned the dislike Melchom has for her. Though, in the end, a joy to read! It's nice to see Melchom in action again : D

Dechado
Artist
icon
215 comments
# 17   Posted: Apr 10 2018, 09:29 PM
I am not sure how to comment either, considering this seems more like a Team Battle instead of an actual battle.

I JUST. THINK. BOTH COMICS. ARE. REALLY COOL. OKAY.

Kozi: Your colors are beautiful. The only thing that gets me a bit confused, and maybe I missed something about Remy's mentor. Is the strife with Regi a simulation, or are they making enough trouble to have said robot on their behinds twice? I'M SORRY. ;_;
(Also thanks for the feature. dsjhgaujkhds)

Brentony: "Straight people are gross" I shouldn't have found that as funny as I did, but here we are.
I enjoyed the story a ton, especially the end. Badass-esque villain gets his mind blown out by an actual badass.
Really like your inks. Thick lines for the countour of the characters, and smaller, more detailed ones for the rest.





Shen
Global Moderator
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1211 comments
# 16   Posted: Apr 10 2018, 08:51 PM
I haven't commented yet because i don't know how to crit these. Theyre both such phenomenally entertaining comics and i love the friendship of these two immensely. I hope to see more of them in future comics! Fabulous work!

Camel
Artist
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48 comments
# 15   Posted: Apr 10 2018, 08:19 PM
Kozi - There's not much to say that hasn't been said, but I will say I love the palettes in this comic, there are quite a bit and they give the entire story a very textual feel. Fantastic as always!

Brentony - Some hilarious raunchy dialogue and magical mischief? Sign me up! The interwoven flashbacks that tie into eachother are really nicely done and help bring to life the friendship of Remy and Mel. I also really like how genuine and realistic their friendship is, I imagine the audience can connect to that really well. The thick inks are pleasing, my only real crit is that, although the black and white look may just be due to a time constraint, when workin in that I think a lot more black would help make this comic feel a bit less flat.

Kozispoon
Approval Committee
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940 comments
# 14   Posted: Apr 10 2018, 10:00 AM
With hours to go, I'm gonna get my thanks for crits and feedback in hurr. Thanks guys! Definitely excited to push it in the next one.

As for me opponent:

BRENTONY: I have been excitedly awaiting this match up since you joined the site and your comic did not disappoint. Remy and Melchom's chemistry is awesome and reflects so well in your comic! I'm like legit thrilled we finally made their bromance canon and look forward to expanding upon it. You caught so many things about Remy's dynamic, family and attitude I haven't even revealed yet surprisingly well in the flashback scenes of your comic, I turned around just to make sure you hadn't installed security cams in my place.

Your inks are solid. Like, coloring book solid. Really bold, so nothing really got muddled details wise. I think my favorite panel is the battle scene where Melchom is spewing smoke against the summoned dragon demons. It's such a great layout and composition of action in the foreground and back. A forthe story, the scant moments and I mean SCANT where Melchom dropped the sassy facade to be sincere and self reflective-especially in the flashback scenes- had to be my favorite. It was so compelling to see him show off a measure of vulnerability. I certainly hope you explore that.

By way of crit, while I enjoy this look, I'd be interested in seeing more nuance from you. Pair your bold inks with something more subtle. I also wish your bounce from present to past was more clear. At first I thought you were going to distinguish it with black gutters, but then some of your club pages end up with black gutters which upon first read left me wondering if we were also getting a peek of a past club encounter?

I wanna see more of this gay posse judging straight folks. Melchoms circle is such a hoot.
Blaine. Oh my GAWD BLAINE.

William_Duel
Community Manager
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881 comments
# 13   Posted: Apr 7 2018, 05:22 PM
Kozi: Another excellent comic from you.  You're a keen writer who breathes so much life into your characters and you write difficult subjects with seeming ease.  I think it's a testament to the fact that you aren't afraid to really explore the complexity of people's relationships.  I think that's really cool.  I like that page 3 almost seems to mirror the last page, which is a neat way to show he is improvement and catching up to Lu.  Though my problem on page three is that you didn't color in the initial bolt that struck our metal friend.  That would have helped the mirror imagery a bit better.

And I sense the rush to finish in the colors.  In your first few pages that limited textured palette is ok for hiding this but is really more of a placeholder.  I would have liked to see some more range or values even among the green.  The fact that it is all textured in one huge swath gives it a samey feeling.  I better liked the effect you had going mid panel on page 4.

Brentony: You've got very cool and naturalistic dialogue.  You know your character's headspace pretty well.  Your lines are also very clear and easy to read but it's also obvious you're coming at it from a colorist's perspective.  This isn't meant to stand as a black and white comic.  But it still works as it is.  I'm not a fan of how you approached your flashback on page 3 because you don't give much indication that we're in a flashback.  There's no breaks between past and present and it all flows together.  My advice would be to use those black gutters.  If you had a fade effect into white leading into the bottom panel it gives a stronger feeling of being a flashback or a separate scene.  My other problem is Remy's proportions remain pretty childlike throughout most of the comic.  His long legs aren't quite right so I'd be wary of that.

Very nice battle guys and I like how well these two fit together.

Futreblot
Artist
icon
91 comments
# 12   Posted: Apr 6 2018, 09:57 AM
Kozi: always a pleasure to read your comics. I’m not a fan of reading about abuse but you did it justice for sure. The ending felt rushed compared to the rest of the comic, but only in context of the entire work. Always a legend

Brentony: I am not personally a fan of flash backs as they usually serve as filler but this is a decent storyline for one and I think you did great integrating it into the story. I also really enjoyed the banter at the start. I did feel like the big bad sort of came out of nowhere, but that’s all I can personally pick on. I enjoyed the read.

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
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1375 comments
# 11   Posted: Apr 4 2018, 09:32 PM
Kozi: Great stuff I like all the different silly faces and you got their chemistry down pat to a T. I know you said this would explain more of how his voodoo powers work but I'm still drawing a bit of a question mark on how exactly he gets hurt <_> I dig the skeleton snake :D Your magical effects, in general, are top notch. Bravo!

Brentony: Great stuff I like all the banter and you got their chemistry down pat to a T. It's a shame you couldn't get the chance to color this, everything else is on point and even though it's a *little* on the talky side I never got lost reading. Bravo!

yarnwitch
Artist
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192 comments
# 10   Posted: Apr 4 2018, 01:43 PM
This is amazing. Really really. I love these? I feel like the bar scene of Void makes more sense now, and LU WHY.

Brentony
Artist
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50 comments
# 9   Posted: Apr 3 2018, 08:28 PM
I meant to say this earlier but IT’S IN BABY. LET’S GET MAGICAL

Brentony
Artist
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50 comments
# 8   Posted: Apr 3 2018, 11:36 AM
**IS ALSO SCRIBBLING FURIOUSLY**

Kozispoon
Approval Committee
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940 comments
# 7   Posted: Apr 3 2018, 01:33 AM
I have two pages left to ink and colorrrrr
*DRAWING INTENSIFIES* @W@

EDIT: Finished my pages, but changed the last page at the last second (cuz I uploaded a version with a layer turned off.) Hope its all in!

      Edited Apr 4 2018,  12:01 AM by Kozispoon

JayKat
Artist
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334 comments
# 6   Posted: Mar 20 2018, 04:39 PM
CAN'T WAIT!

Happy August 16th! -Reecer6
Artist
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212 comments
# 5   Posted: Mar 20 2018, 03:34 PM
you are now the witch. what do you do? >_

Shen
Global Moderator
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1211 comments
# 4   Posted: Mar 20 2018, 03:20 PM
AT LAST

Radji
Artist
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461 comments
# 3   Posted: Mar 20 2018, 02:52 PM
I expect a catfight

Brentony
Artist
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50 comments
# 2   Posted: Mar 20 2018, 02:25 PM
Glamour! Glitter! Fashion! MURDER!

Kozispoon
Approval Committee
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940 comments
# 1   Posted: Mar 20 2018, 12:05 PM
The battle everybody and nobody wanted. 8D

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Apr 10th, 2018
Votes Cast: 24
Page Views: 656
Winner: Kozispoon

 

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