Intro Story / Vicente Scordato

Intro Story — Vicente Scordato

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Critiques & Comments
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# 7   Posted: Mar 16 2018, 02:03 AM
You have great art with solid anatomy and colouring, but you are suffering from stiff postures and boring framing. I'd suggest focusing on these in your future comics which will be nice reads, I'm sure.

On page 4, the paneling is confusing and took me few reads to get what happened exactly - the wound on the bloke is partially hidden behind his hair. Him doing a super fast stab and blood spurting afterwards loses it's effect when you can't see the actual stab nor does Vicente move at all - just a zoom out with a sound effect. You could've gotten a better result with a wide frame in one panel with ghost trail of the blade.  Not to mention his intense look on panel 4 makes it look like that is the moment of stabby time.

# 6   Posted: Mar 14 2018, 10:51 PM
Man, so happy to see him in void now!! I love his look so much and your coloring style is a wonderful treat. Every page was rich with color and TBH I live for it. I really do love your expressions as well but something that could really help along with pushing your posing is also pushing your expressions. They go hand in hand, and it would make certain actions clearer if you can see the emotion written on the face better.

//Now let me just hitlist you real quick

Community Manager
# 5   Posted: Mar 13 2018, 03:04 PM
I really like your coloring and rendering and polish but not your characters' stiffness of posture; Page 4 panel 4 doesn't look nearly as brutal cause it doesn't look like Vicente really moved at all; same posture of the neck and shoulders, etc., I would love to see you break out of your comfort zone more and practice dynamic angles and perspectives with your characters' figures, especially for action sequences

Can't wait for more vampire violence ahead!

# 4   Posted: Mar 12 2018, 10:58 AM
This Anne Rice dandy fuck is going on my hitlist PRONTO

Alouisse Ver
# 3   Posted: Mar 11 2018, 07:02 PM
Thank you so much Shen for putting your critique in! You've given me a lot to think about in terms of communicating things clearly.

I'd say Vicente's show is all 3 of those things. He basically studies an inhuman, figures out what their powers and weaknesses are, and then kidnaps them. Once the show begins, his show is basically testing that persons powers (and resolve) pushing them to their lethal point. Depending on the power, he'd fight them personally, or some other appropriate to their power test.

So for the onlookers, they get a talent show and live killing show all wrapped in one.

But aaah! Thank you so much once again. I tried a lot of new things with this, and I'm glad to be moving forward. Especially comparing it to Adwell's intro.

Now without the page restriction, I'm REALLY excited to show more of Vicente and get into the nitty-gritty of him.


Also... just going to put the list of stuff I used to ink these pages:

Dr. Ph Martin’s Bombay Black India Ink
+ Hunt 107
+ Hunt Ex-fine bowl pointed nib
Winsor and Newton Series 7 size 2
Black Sakura micron pen in sizes 1 and 3
+ Black copic multiliner in size 3
Pentel pocket brushpen

And the paper I used was Strathmore’s Bristol Vellum surface 9x12.

All but 4 panels (2, 3, 4, and 6,)  on the last page were done traditionally, and I enjoy knowing what others used so I thought it’d be nice if I listed what I used for this in case it could help anyone. Those with the + are what I primarily used.

# 2   Posted: Mar 11 2018, 07:02 PM
I'm so happy to see him in at last! Loved the snuff show setting and the atmosphere surrounding it. What Shen said, more exaggerated body language would benefit nicely for Vincente.

Can't wait to see him in battle soon...

Global Moderator
# 1   Posted: Mar 11 2018, 06:39 PM
Im a bit confused what exactly the show IS. Why dont the "stars" survive twice? Is it a stage combat show? Is it a live murder? Is it a talent show? That said im super intrigued by the concept! I want to see what sorts of trouble he can stir up! Youre art has come such a long ways already from Adwell's intro, the body language is improved but i think his posing could be pushed more. Big,  dramatic, theatrical movements! Hes an entertainer, he needs to be seen from the back row! The biggest problem i think was the star's death on the last page, it took me two reads to realize he'd been killed. Maybe showing the body collapsing or more gore or something. This might have been another place that would have benifited from for exaggerated posing from Vicente.
Anyways i love him and i want to see him fight everybody especially me FIGHT ME

Comic Details -

Ended: Mar 18th, 2018
Votes Cast: 22
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