Kao5 vs. Vespa Valencia

Kao5 vs. Vespa Valencia

by Fox


233 points
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273 points
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Critiques & Comments
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PyrasTerran
Community Manager
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1339 comments
# 12   Posted: Apr 4 2018, 07:45 PM
Cool stuff!

Fox: I like the writing, you just need more practice with word bubble placement + composition so that they read more naturally, sometimes I got lost and skipped a bubble. I would have liked to see at least a full establishing shot of the place in the beginning, and some variance with the counter top, wall decorations, etc. Careful with your lines too,there's some places like where fairy vesper is clipping with the lines of the counter top

Flutter: I really like the way you draw Kao5 and the last two pages made me laugh out loud~ I know it's drawn traditionally but maybe use photoshop to help clean up dust and scratches and pencil leftovers like what is seen in the gutters

It's been a  while since both of you were around and battling, I hope you stay longer

William_Duel
Community Manager
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862 comments
# 11   Posted: Apr 2 2018, 05:34 PM
Fox: Mixing drinks with comic work is fun.  I think you should work on backgrounds more though.

Flutz: Very fun and nice style for Kao5.  You should have taken some time though to level out the blacks so they stand out more and fill in better.

Kozispoon
Approval Committee
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911 comments
# 10   Posted: Apr 2 2018, 10:42 AM
FOX- Looks like voids bartender has a new challenger in their midst. Here's hoping there isnt fur in all the drinks. XD I had to give your previous battles a looksee, just to make sure, but I think your quality dropped significantly compared to your last couple battles. I know the deadline was only two weeks, so you may of been pressed for time, but this is the roughest I've seen your lines and inks.

FLUTZ- Love love LOVE how you drew Ka05. Out of all the furry bid'nes I seen, I think this one rides that line or super reality and characterization well. The interaction was cute, and the color were even nicer. The relationship and chemistry between these two was totally believable. I hope to see more battles between you two :)

Radji
Artist
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444 comments
# 9   Posted: Apr 2 2018, 02:05 AM
Fox: Liked the whole alcohol gig. It's always funny to see characters get wasted ^^

Flutter: Vespa is such a fiend ^^ i needed that kind of sillyness

Julz
Artist
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313 comments
# 8   Posted: Mar 28 2018, 07:06 PM
Fox- i loved this story! very cute, had a really nice pace. word bubbles were often a tad out of order but it didn't distract too badly.
I loved the dynamic poses, vespa in the and around the glass  and all that. Great work wish it was a lil more polished!

Flutter- Yay colors! Great linework, and is that traditional? Wowee. Interesting take on Kao5's programming. Baking is kinda hit or miss there on keeping my interest though. Interestingly, both comics had something to do with consumables.

AWESOME JOB GUYS HEEEELL YEAH

Shen
Global Moderator
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1160 comments
# 7   Posted: Mar 28 2018, 06:45 PM
i love both of these characters so much XD

Fox: Very clever theme with the drinks! I would like to try them all (some I know i already have! XD) I know you were super busy with work so this didnt get the polish you would have liked but I think next time you do a black and white comic you should push the blacks more, like when Vespa opens the door and we see her silhouette, you could have a shadow underneath and darkness around the door to push the light source more. Also I think you could probably get away with a slightly smaller font so it doesnt cover so much of the art. I like the two of them as friends, I hope we see them hanging out more in the future!

Flutz: I LOVE YOUR CUTE ART AND YOUR CUTE JOKES I love how you draw Kao5 and Vespa's face in the "whaaa? whaaaaattt???' panels on page 4 and the zelda gag i love your comics and Vespa is a delight. Backgrounds are a bit sparse but since its a 4koma style comedy comic I'm alright with it. Great traditionals!

Rhimwill
Artist
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97 comments
# 6   Posted: Mar 28 2018, 10:20 AM
Fox: I thought this was a fun read. The only part I got a bit confused on was the transition from page 1 to 2 where Vespa is standing in the door looking like another cat person. The first time I read it I thought that Kao5 was the one standing in the doorway, and the trash covering Vespa in the next page read more like a costume so I got confused. It may have made things clearer if, on the first page, we had a single shot that included both the silhouette in the doorway and Kao5 so that it was more immediately clear that it was a different "cat person" in the doorway.  I enjoyed the juxtaposition of the drinks recipes throughout the story. I thought that was a fun way to carry the plot

Flutterbyes: I love how you draw Koa5! You've really made the design your own. The pixely speech balloons in the second page didn't seem to fit with the rest of the clean style, though. It may have worked better to just use a different shape of balloon to emphasize Vespa's agony. I'm a bit envious of your traditional comics abilities! the inking and coloring is very clean. I thought you did a good job with the 4-Koma style comedy, too. It made me laugh XD

Fox
Artist
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23 comments
# 5   Posted: Mar 27 2018, 05:48 PM
Flutterbyes:  I think the story still would have worked without changing her name to Vesper, though.
Quote

That was legitimately a typo in my notes that I didn't notice until after I'd posted it.

v.v

Fox
Artist
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23 comments
# 4   Posted: Mar 27 2018, 05:42 PM
Dechado:
P.D.
Are these actual drinks, or did you make them? My complete ignorance for alcoholic beverages is showing.].
Quote

Thanks!  You can really tell where my work situation started blowing up and I started rushing.

But yeah, the drinks are two parts classic coktail (Fairy Fire, Vesper), one part modifications on classics (Bee's Knees), and two parts original (Hot and sticky, Fairy Drought).

All of them are totally mixable and tested. -.^
/lush Fox

Dechado
Artist
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203 comments
# 3   Posted: Mar 27 2018, 01:20 PM
Hehe, these were funny comics to read. I like how in both they were just being pals.
Quite refreshing to see a lighhearted comic like these in a while.

Fox: You're improving, Kao5 looks way more fluid, though some of his poses still struggle with being stiff. His body language is pretty good overall, but I'd suggest you go wild with his range of emotions, as they only seem to range from sad to flirty.
P.D.
Are these actual drinks, or did you make them? My complete ignorance for alcoholic beverages is showing.

Flutterbyes: Loved the colors, so lively and pretty! You draw Kao5 pretty handsome, I must admit, and I enjoyed his overdramatic poses. The TLoZ reference made me really happy.

Flutterbyes
Artist
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140 comments
# 2   Posted: Mar 27 2018, 11:49 AM
I created a troublemaker, but it seems, across the board, "Dine/Drink 'n' Dash" sums up Vespa's antics, huh?

 There's something very sweet about bonding-over-cocktails stories. They're slice of life sorts of things, but with a "try this at home" element (how to distill the laughter of a lost child? And why is that child laughing?). I think the story still would have worked without changing her name to Vesper, though.

Shen
Global Moderator
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1160 comments
# 1   Posted: Mar 5 2018, 05:43 PM
YOOO!!!! CAN'T WAIT!!

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Apr 2nd, 2018
Votes Cast: 14
Page Views: 301
Winner: Flutterbyes

 

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