Reach for the Stars / Hellis

Reach for the Stars — Hellis

by Hellis

427 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4

Critiques & Comments
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# 12   Posted: Feb 12 2018, 10:49 PM
My main issue with this comic is mostly in regards to the paneling and page composition, especially with the latter half of the comic. Page 3 has some weird paneling going on that initially had me reading me reading from top to bottom first, left to right afterwards so you'd wanna watch out for how the panels flow through the page. Page 4 gives off the impression of being a bleed page but with the panels zigzagging in between, I feel it takes away the main focus away from the tower and almost unneccessary. It doesn't help that the panels appear to be unfinished and look out of place compared to the main page they're overlaying.

Other stuff I've noticed in the comic but might just come off as nitpicky (as well as people have already pointed it out)

-For a large city like Void, there are some panels that feeling like its lacking the presence of a large population and feels empty. Last panel of page 1 with the crowd scene and the construction site of the Tower stand out in particular. Even the last page feels empty with the lack of other buildings in the backgrouns, which also could've helped in showcasing the massive size of the tower

-As a comic about the city itself, the crowd scene in the first page could've benefit'd a lot with adding cameos of already established characters, help the city feel more populated and even give a homage to the community on the site.

-Spot blacks always your best friend when shading, especially when using a monochrome palette like this where using an alternate color for shading can look off and out of place. I can see you're already using spot blacks in the comic already but there are moments in the pages where some more shading could be used to help contrast stuff a bit more and give some depth to the art. If there's moments where spot blacks would look out of place but in need of some shading, I'd suggest research different forms of shading that might fancy you, such as hatching, cross-hatching, etc.

-There's lines going out of the panels you oughta watch out for for the sake of making the page looking less messy.

Corn Of The Breads
Think Tank
# 11   Posted: Feb 12 2018, 08:33 AM
Congrats on finishing this Hellis I am so excited for this because it means it is just that much more easy to draw and tell space stories.

# 10   Posted: Feb 11 2018, 04:45 PM
I loved the mood for this! The red tone kinda makes it foreboding but its also a really, like... uplifting sort of call to arms thing? Great mood setting.
I also love that you chose to make it all narrative, showing parts of the city handling things different ways. Good job Hellis! You're improving so much! ♥

# 9   Posted: Feb 8 2018, 01:43 AM
Ohhey, we space now huh.

Nice colors. Main issue I see here is panel layout and use of gutter spaces. Or rather, the lack of it. remember the reading order of comics. Left to right, up to down. If you have a panel and follow it up with something to the right of it and the bottom of it, readers will get pulled out of immersion trying to figure out which to read first. So try and avoid what you did there at the start of Page 2 and 3. If you really insist on it, however, that's where panel gutters come in and you have the panel you want going next nearer and the one you want going after is further. There's also plenty of pages where I can see you did not think of how much panel gutter would go between each panel and it resulted in panels kind of being haphazardly placed and becoming kinda messy looking.

Anyway I more or less got the point of the comic quicker than the others here so I think delivery of plot is fine. It's just kinda hindered by the readability of it.

# 8   Posted: Feb 6 2018, 02:40 PM
Honestly, I wondered what was the main focus of the BB, until I went back and re-read that it was about the establishment of the Space Elevator. Like Will said, this felt like a prologue to a much bigger scheme. It left me wanting more. And what does Hara make of this development, since this BB IS tied to him in some way. You already pointed out that you realized it wasn't made clear enough, so I won't harp on it too much.

I like how you're touching up on possible consequences for the aftermath of Armageddon, it'd definitely make for some interesting stories for those affected by its destruction.

Using Void City colours as the main scheme was a super neat choice. The monochromes set the mood and dystopian atmosphere very nicely, so big props on that front. If you want to keep on trucking with them monochromes for any future comics, I definitely encourage you to do so. Don't be afraid to look up some schemes, experiment with as much as you can, see what works and what doesn't.

Some of the composition layouts didn't read clearly to me, however. On Page 3, I got lost trying to figure out how to read it. Was I supposed to zig-zag across it, or read down and then up to the next row? Make sure that your layouts read clearly, both to you and your audience, otherwise it ends up breaking the readers' immersion and may confuse them. Remember your nine-panel layout trick and keep using that for next time.

I want to see you try and experiment with drawing cleaner, crisper linework. At times it was hard to make out some things, such as the flying cars, because some things were too bold and sketchy-looking that it lacked depth/variation, such as the Tower on page 4. Keep in mind that anything close to the reader's view the lines are thicker, and when things are far away/zoom out they thin out. Your buildings could also use some more detail to them. I know they're not fun to draw at times, but don't make them look like cardboard cutouts either. Give some glowing windows and billboards. Look at various cityscapes, observe their shapes and forms, after all, Void city is a place that can look however it wants. Go wild with it, make it look lived in.

In short, keep pushing at it with your colours, cleaner inks and ensure that your layout reads clearly. You've grown and improved a lot in the time you've been here. But don't get discouraged if things don't work out like you hope, just learn from it and keep striving on ahead.

      Edited Feb 6 2018,  02:46 PM by JayKat

# 7   Posted: Feb 6 2018, 01:19 PM
yes ! finally ! i can launch my babies in SPAAAAAACE now

# 6   Posted: Feb 6 2018, 05:51 AM
Watch them panel gutters, they're very big and inconsistent.

# 5   Posted: Feb 5 2018, 07:06 PM
I'm so happy to finally see this. If I hadn't read your reply to Will, I would have guessed that it was a tribute to the city as a whole. I still thoroughly enjoyed reading it. The composition and colors worked well to me. I'm excited to see what the Space Elevator brings to the city.

# 4   Posted: Feb 5 2018, 08:25 AM
William_Duel: So I'm just a little confused what this is about?  Is this your personal take on Void or is it specific to one of your characters...?  This feels like the opening to something more and not quite complete on its own.

Ah. Seems I failed at the main purpose of the comic, lol. Its the establishment of the Space Elevator. It is also a bit of a loveletter to the city.

Community Manager
# 3   Posted: Feb 5 2018, 08:20 AM
So I'm just a little confused what this is about?  Is this your personal take on Void or is it specific to one of your characters...?  This feels like the opening to something more and not quite complete on its own.

Astro Sean
Think Tank
# 2   Posted: Jan 9 2018, 08:26 AM
I'm reaching, baby

# 1   Posted: Jan 9 2018, 06:32 AM
This has been gathering dust the past few months. The only way for me to get it done is to put a deadline on it.

Comic Details -

Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Feb 12th, 2018
Votes Cast: 23
Page Views: 322


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