Clash of the Chitin: Final Round / Talbot & Scroop vs. Hellgrammite

Clash of the Chitin: Final Round — Talbot & Scroop vs. Hellgrammite

by zee


647 points
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525 points
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Critiques & Comments
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zee
Artist
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122 comments
# 17   Posted: Dec 21 2017, 08:55 PM
I wanted to wait until the voting was over to mention it myself, but I definitely agree that this round from my side was rather anticlimactic. This round began during finals week for me so I really didn't lend myself a lot of time to think and kind of just went with whatever I could, and I ended up treating this like just another round instead of a proper finale like I should have. I'm definitely not trying to make excuses for the comic's shortcomings, but I want to apologize to anyone who feels like it's a let down; next time I do something like this I'll take the build up into proper consideration.
On the other hand I'm very glad that some of you were able to enjoy it regardless, and I really appreciate that! I look forward to doing more with Talbot and Scroop in the future.

I feel like I've learned a lot about what to do and what not to do when writing and drawing for a comic (especially ones with such short deadlines) so I'm very thankful to have been a part of this tournament for that experience.

Thanks so much to everyone who read, voted, and commented throughout this whole thing, you all rock.
Also, a Big Ol' Thanks to Yarn for this battle, to everyone else who participated in the tourney, and to Corn for getting it together!

Happy October 15th! -Reecer6
Artist
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218 comments
# 16   Posted: Dec 21 2017, 05:56 AM
Yarn: aaaaaaaaAAAAAAGGggh it really hurts to see hellgrammite lose like this just after your last battle with zee! I love both of these (sets of) characters, so it would’ve hurt either way, but this feels especially sad. I definitely think you’ve improved art-wise, even in this short time period, and this is some of your best stuff, so it was definitely much closer for me (I gave you both the same quality score) but I guess not close enough. ;_; You gotta bring back Hellgrammite for the SDT, this girl needs a second chance at life!!

Zee: I’m a big fan, AS IS COMPLETELY USUAL. I’ve kind of just been a sucker for the entire setting and tone of your comics in this tournament, to the point that I feel like I’m willing to look past what others would/might consider a pretty placid confrontation, and the way you integrate Hellgrammite into Talbot & Scroop’s narrative is A+. All the stuff and composition with her catterpillar-y form are also really quality horror! AND THE WAY YOU REITERATE ON THE STINGER GAG IS, *kisses finger*, MWAH

      Edited Dec 21 2017,  10:41 AM by Happy October 15th! -Reecer6

Coatl
Artist
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318 comments
# 15   Posted: Dec 18 2017, 11:24 AM
ZEE:

Strengths:

Great use of color, and design (especially page 5)
Good use of contrast. You really set a mood with your battle.
There are times inside the shop tho, that I was feeling pretty lost. I dont know if you were just drawing on the fly (pun intended) but it took me a second read to find out that the characters went into one of those buildings and within it, they went in yet another room just to talk to Hellgrammite.
Then the action scene within it made thatconfusion a bit worse.
What I suggest is doing a topdown map for yourself as reference and that way you can map out where they're gong to move and be able to draw your shots based off that.
Speaking of which for 90% of the comic, I loved the shots you did, for the other 10% I feel like changing the angle or making a panel or reveal more dramatic would have helped. Like when you introduce the wings, you could have push that more to make it feel much more importatnt. The same could be said with them running away after Hellgrammite turns into a centipede.

Again though, you have solid drawings and you've really showed that you have a lot of great skill.


Yarnwitch:

You pages where really cool, I like the use of black to help emphasize the tone and setting, your colors were also really solid. You had some cool action moments and cool moments of tension.

That being said, sometimes your colors looked a bit too dark as if you were relying solely on darkening the values of the character, if that's what youre going for, I suggest messing with the Hue and Sat a bit as well. Also make sure you squint to make sure that your panel or page is readible.

I really liked the way you designed your bgs but similarly to Zee, there were moments where I was lost in the placement of where the characters are at.
I think before you do your next battle, look for movies or comics with similar settings, and thumbnail and take notes with how they handle shots.
Also, like I suggested to Zee, if you're doing a setting like this where you may be unsure of how to move your camera, make a map and try to choreograph where everyone would be placed and use that as a personal reference.

Good job, I really like your designs, I think you got great textures in your coloring and I wanna see more in the future



Radji
Artist
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464 comments
# 14   Posted: Dec 18 2017, 05:53 AM
okay then let's do this

Zee:  I think the scissor accident is excatly how i thought things would end with your side: hillariously cruel. Talbot and Scroop are those sherlokian characters i've been waiting for a moment in Void. Good final !

Yarn: Your First tournament, so soon after your arrival in Void, and look at you! Finals! Hellgramite grew on me that's for sure. I loved her quest for self-approvement Let's see how it plays out now.

Jiisuri
Artist
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128 comments
# 13   Posted: Dec 18 2017, 12:02 AM
First of all, good effort you two. This is probably one of the better finals I've seen since I joined this site. 6-9 colored pages in a week on both sides is pretty good.

Zee: I have nothing to say regarding the art actually. Its just good and I'd pay for it. The only real thing that bugs me is a bit of the plot progression that is really okay but not satisfying to me either. This would be how Hellgrammite met her demise through what is pretty much a complete accident. To be fair, it does play into a running with scissors gag so its fine, but its also no less lacking in payoff because the protagonists Talbot and Scroop did not do much to achieve this one. That being said there is also the chance I could be wrong and it works perfectly fine as some kind of poetic karmic tragedy, but I still feel a little lacking at this conclusion nonetheless.

Good comic tho.

Yarn: First of all, congratulations on making it this far. Pat yourself on the back.

Done? Ok time for some critiques.

So the main issue I have with your comic is pretty much the cause of why people are confused at your plot. Panel flow and composition. First off, panel flow. Pg4,  you have your first panel and then a panel to the right of it and narrative text outside the panel below it. This results in a moment of immersion breaking confusion over whether to read the text below first or move to the right and read the 2nd panel. Here's the basic rule: left to right, up to down for comics read in western formats. If you want to break that order, you must compensate by creating a layout that gets someone's eyes moving where you want them to go.

Next, composition. The art of putting stuff into a layout that clearly tells what is going on and also looking good. On page 5 last panel, for instance, I could not tell what is going on. Did Hell suddenly grow and lean back? Did she fall to the ground? What exactly is going on? I cannot tell because you brought Hell too close to the edge without giving everything enough room and background cues to give a sense of position. Throw that together with breaking the 180 rule from the panel just before that. Yeah, confusing.

Other than that, the art can be a little unclear as a result of all these, but everything else can be ironed out as you hone your art skills more. Good effort.

      Edited Dec 18 2017,  12:03 AM by Jiisuri

William_Duel
Community Manager
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885 comments
# 12   Posted: Dec 15 2017, 01:36 PM
I guess Talbot and Scroop really did go to Hell....grammite.

Julz
Artist
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337 comments
# 11   Posted: Dec 15 2017, 10:07 AM
Zee: I liked your use of space and darkness. It's like the negativity and darkness are one, creeping in until scroop is like... these are real!! AAH! Very cool trick, I'll have to remember that xD

Yarn: everything's kind of muddy and i don't understand why they're fighting. Page 5 didn't seem to have the setup it needed either for the impact you were looking for. It's straight violence no context in my point of view. Also I really wish the last page was the best page quality wise, it's such a let down. Instead its the worst drawn page and it's not even colored. Did you run out of time? There's alot of black space and the panels are rather large, like a third of the panels are just blank space. And you didn't hide your pages so I can clearly see the thumbnails in bright yellow that she gets her wings before even reading the comic yay for her xD

Corn Of The Breads
Think Tank
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121 comments
# 10   Posted: Dec 14 2017, 01:30 PM
Both comics came out great for both of you!

Zee I love the interpretation of Hellgramite and the wing store, the sweeney todd vibes are great! So far out of every battle from you in this tournament this one feels a bit more sudden and paced a bit off comparatively, but this is still amazing for a one week battle. also maybe this one feels a bit off to me because the world in the establishing shot feels empty and sparce.

Yarn You did an amazing job and I am so sorry you had to do a lot of this work while sick but all of that considered this came out great, but it didn't feel really satisfying as a conclusion. I think it just went by so fast? The art looked amazing but some of the action scenes were a bit confusing for me?

yarnwitch
Artist
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203 comments
# 9   Posted: Dec 14 2017, 12:09 PM
Desichan: I was a tad bit confused with the story though, what exactly was the trap that had been set?
Quote

Oh sorry! It was supposed to be a kind of... lure? Like, if im talking and it sounds interesting, you'd want to come closer and listen, right? But if you get closer, you're in my zone, so i'll have the advantage! It was like that. I dont know a more concise way to say it, but the talking itself was the trap.

Desichan
Artist
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137 comments
# 8   Posted: Dec 14 2017, 11:04 AM
First note, everything I see in these comics related to Veevee is cute and wonderful, and makes me happy, so thank you for cameo stuff!

@Zee

I like um, love how you draw Hellgrammite? It's actually always been so fun to see how you draw your opponents in this tournament, and this battle no less. It was really neat how you made Hellgrammite work at selling wings, which seems to be such a nice midpoint between Yarn's character's storyline, and the world you've created. Overall, I really loved your comic, and its actually really hard to critique much of anything in it, because of the level of skill you're at. But yeah, overall, loved your comic.

@Yarn

Those corpses were really well done! The pools of blood near the start look really good in making someone actually start to feel nauseous, which is a feeling that I don't think many people capture with corpses, or even try to capture. I was a tad bit confused with the story though, what exactly was the trap that had been set? I really like how the majority of this comic went though, but I feel your reveal at the sixth page was a tad bit underwhelming, and the final page I feel could've benefited from more coloring. I think a lot of what could help the sixth page, would be using coloring to point more to her transformation, but I'm not 100% sure! Overall though, very impressive comic! And I'm really proud of you making it to the final round! You've done amazing in this tournament!


Both of you guys did super good jobs, and you guys both ought to be really proud of yourselves!

JayKat
Artist
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338 comments
# 7   Posted: Dec 7 2017, 08:27 PM
Best of luck to you both!

yarnwitch
Artist
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203 comments
# 6   Posted: Dec 7 2017, 07:27 PM
zee: I'm glad to meet you here Yarn, best of luck!
I also can't wait to see how this goes down.
Quote

I AM STRONGER THAN LAST TIME! Perhaps it will be an even match! I'm looking forward to what we come up with!

MrPr1993
Artist
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59 comments
# 5   Posted: Dec 7 2017, 06:11 PM
OOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!!!! This is gonna be one heckuva showdown!

zee
Artist
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122 comments
# 4   Posted: Dec 7 2017, 05:57 PM
I'm glad to meet you here Yarn, best of luck!
I also can't wait to see how this goes down.

      Edited Dec 7 2017,  05:57 PM by zee

Desichan
Artist
icon
137 comments
# 3   Posted: Dec 7 2017, 09:51 AM
This double posted somehow???


      Edited Dec 7 2017,  09:51 AM by Desichan

Desichan
Artist
icon
137 comments
# 2   Posted: Dec 7 2017, 09:37 AM
Wah good luck to both of you! You guys have both fought so hard, and I wish you both the absolute best of luck!!!

I can't wait to see what you guys make!

Bobo
Web Dev
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861 comments
# 1   Posted: Dec 7 2017, 09:03 AM
SMASH THOSE BUGS!

Comic Details -

 
Type: Speed Death Tournament Match
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Dec 20th, 2017
Votes Cast: 27
Page Views: 610
Winner: zee

 

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