Sabulive: I'm in LOVE with this comic! As previously mentioned in other comments, your color palette usage was top notch. I love the red you decided to use for it. I was thoroughly engaged with your story and may have re-read it a couple of times due to how much I enjoyed it, hehe. I don't have any critiques. Seems like everyone covered them already.

I really can't wait to see what comic you end up making next! You definitely got a fan here.

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Jiisuri: I'm going to have to piggyback with what Majikura said. A little more refined lines would really make your work pop! I see from Petarvee's comment you're trying on a more sketchy approach? Some experimentation with sketchy yet refined lines could absolutely do ya' some wonders!

Now onto the good stuff! I really love the way you draw Clyde. I also really, really love the way you applied your blacks to your comic. And might I say I really love your paneling with this comic! Definitely inspirational.

Really lovely battle between you two! I can't wait to see what you two do next!  

Sabu: Super cool! This palette is really stellar, and I gotta say your action panels pack a mean punch and flow so nicely, this has gotta be one of the smoothest fights i've ever read on void. The fight panels being blank is a logical choice to retain clarity, and it definitely did, but some more interaction with the environment would also be really cool. Overall though, this comic is a blast

Jii: Also super cool! The black/white contrast between Fran and Clyde makes the action pop, and the entire action sequence has good flow. I liked the bit about Clyde using the phone to see through Fran's illusion, as well as the leaves being sucked into the doorway - these little touches are really slick. Some of the action panels flow a bit oddly, especially through 5-7 where it feels like there's almost too much action? aka the choreography is a little complex there and i got lost. But regardless, a really nice battle

@Sabu AYYYYY IT CAME OUT SO RAD MAN. Honestly like hot diggity swiggity damn. You rocked this limited look so good-gosh-dang-hard.

20 pages in a 3-weeker is rock-solid man, and that alone gets ya Bonus Points. But the smart choices you made throughout really carried it. The limited-palette being the obvious one, but throughout you use smaller, similar, panels to cut down on draw-time without cutting down on clarity so just A+ on the draftsmanship man. Plus you showcase Pat's powers a lot more clearly and use em in some pretty fun ways. Flying shopping cart? Absolutely loved it.

The only sorta art-note I'd leave would be that the fight looked a little blank in comparison to the rest, but I really can't knock you for it because it was a smart move.

Writing-wise, ya nailed it. You made a solid, self-contained, story that touched on all your horsemen without losing focus on Pat and making Clyde's goals as the antagonist totally clear-cut. Plus, the little epilouge scene at the end was really just the icing on the cake. You could've done without it and had a good comic, but that little bit of book-end really just pushes it over the edge into Great territory.

@Jii I can dig it! Overall I'm diggin the sketchy direction you're taking your stuff in, so kudos on embracing change!

My big note for the art would be to watch your proportions and angles. Cause I can dig the loose nature of it all, but theres more than a few panels throughout where it looks like you drew someone's figure at an angle and didn't flip it to check. Which, I can get, its always a little scary to flip a sketch and see *how it really looks* but in the end you'll have a much more structurally sound-comic. Also, as an overall, I'd like to see a bit more detail in your backgrounds. Minor things like door frames, window-sills, scalloped edges to furniture. Little touches that make a place look lived-in, rather than Right Off The Ikea Showroom.

For the writing, like I said, I can dig it. It's a very functional story without a whole lotta bells and whistles, though the illusion and he's-sucking-in-air thing were pretty clever bits. Overall, while there's nothing *wrong* with the writing, it didn't impress me either. You don't need soap-opera drama, but I'd like something to be emotionally invested or connected to in the writing; or something to make them feel like Real Humans rather than Characters.

Jii: I am going to second Kura. The lack of more refined and clear lines made me feel lost. I can understand going for a more sketchy look, there are artists who have perfected that method. But there need t be stronger lines for that to work. As it were, a lot of the surroundings in particular felt flat and unfinished.

Sabu: I think Pat is fantastic. The entire set up with the rats was nice and cemented him as someone quite precious and well meaning. It made the decision of going to town on Clyde with that weld all the more brutal. I did not see such an act coming. So kudos on that.

I will agree with Kura in that I would like to see more backgrounds during those fightscenes. I personally feel it robs the battle of some of its weight  when we don't know where the fighters are at any given moment..

Jii: I know it is a result of your method of inking, but I would like to see cleaner more refined lines from you.

Sabu: Tsk Tsk, Pat and Clyde apparently went to the gray zone during their fight.  I would have liked to see some hints of the background appear in that action sequence, especially on the panels with lots of negative space.

Woooah nice battle guys!!! Really great comics for only 3 weeks! ♥👍

Sabu:
Your action is just brilliant! Page 11 really stood out as exceptionally great in that respect, but overall your characters in motion are super strong your characters have interesting dynamics and you wrote your opponent's character in pretty well. I'll be interested to see how you develop the characters in the horsemen in future comics. A couple of bits felt slightly clunky, for example Frans speech bubble with a link creeping behind them. It may have worked better to have just the two bubbles with two seperate tails in that once, but of course it's in a minor tweak with regards to the excellent comic.
Pat for rat king 2017!

Jii:
Seeing Clyde's resourcefulness using the phone was a top moment in this! A really clever idea and well communicated in images on your part. This was an interesting read and some great action with Cldye and refering to each of the horsemen too. Just as an aside for next time, a bit of planning ahead for speech bubble placement and text size would help your pages look tidier overall and help your good art shine.

Thanks for the super fun reads both of you!

@Sabu

Okay so um like??? This was amazing! Like really amazing, it had excellent usage of action, and the characterization was great and amusing ("Yes my lovelies its me! Your rat king!") I laughed at that, and I don't usually laugh at many comic jokes. I can't think of many things I didn't like about this comic, except it took me till at least halfway through the comic to realize what character your opponent had, seeing as I didn't have much prior knowledge of their character. In a way they seemed to look pretty plain in portrayal. But overall, loved your use of minimal color, and your story was easy to follow. Also that scare looks really cool!

@Jiisuri Your comic is really impressive! A lot of your art felt rough due to somewhat messing lining, but I feel actually really looks nice with how you made your comic, I was very impressed. Your action scenes are really great, actually a huge highlight of the comic but at times they look a bit like they could use more work and refining. For example, on page 9, Wallace looked somewhat strange in how he was running. You balance this out with other really good action shots, but it feels like at times it might need a bit more work to make one of these shots work out better, I believe you have the skill to make them all amazing to be entirely honest. I'm still actually not entirely sure what was going on with the scar Wallace got. What kind of implants did they put in? Is his back broken? What's going on anyway? It wasn't the most clear to me. Regardless though, I loved your story, it was really entertaining, and fun to watch what happened and went on!

ALSO YOU BOTH HAVE AWESOME CHARACTERS!

I've uploaded my bad boi. Can't wait to see how you mutilated my children Jii!

do it, for all of humanity

AWESOME ~

Man this title is edge