Invyn & Jasper vs. Ruuto

Invyn & Jasper vs. Ruuto

396 points
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by fukur0

470 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8

Critiques & Comments
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Approval Committee
# 10   Posted: Aug 18 2017, 12:19 AM
@Reecer Yknow, I'm really diggin how far you've come since your first comic. I think I've said it before, but its like night n day. But now the crit!

The Art: Big note right off the bat. Establishing shots gotta go first. For the first couple pages, it's like a wall of visual information hitting me at once, and I'm not sure whats important, whats for show, and if the characters are the panel borders themselves or if there's just a dragon infestation. A cityscape with 2 dragon silhouettes against the night sky woulda really set the tone for what was about to go down.

I'm diggin your experimentation with color and soft light and shadow and think you should definitely keep goin down that route. Instead of like, hardline shading.

Buildings: Use a straight line tool or somethin like it. For a cobblestone castle, you can get away with naturally wibbly lines. But for the metropolis-esque Void City, it makes the buildings read a bit like Play-doh.

Draftsmanship: Overall, not bad. You zoom in and out at the right times, save for when things get talky. Then ya sorta stay at the bust level. Also feel free to move the camera up and down a bit. You do it well during Jaspers shooty-part, but thats the only real time ya use it. In movies, crane-shots are expensive, in comics, they're free. Use em like theyre free.

Anatomy: When characters have their clothes on, you've more or less got proportions down right. When the clothes come off, it's evident where ya fall flat. I've mentioned chest-wideness before, and that's sorta fixed, but the big issue is Pectoral Size. Simply put, they aint that massive. Remind me to hook you up with my favorite anatomy book so you can learn Ideal Proportions, then modify em from there.

Writing: Overall, pretty clever and enjoyable. The beats of the story made sense and the scar was interesting. I woulda personally preferred a bigger magical fireworks display to scare the dragon off, and the conveniently placed mirror to blind him was a bit of a Dues Ex Machina, but for the time constraint, it wasn't bad.

@Fu Ayyy! Goofy, fun, and Ruuto almost doesn't have a bad day. A good change of pace from the usual.

Art: Firstly, I'm glad you're breakin outta your Everything Is Purple phase. I can wholly understand the appeal of such a lustrus color, but seeing you use greens and yellows and reds with only a purple tint on the shadows is a step in the right direction. Also, nice rough lines ***wonder where ya got that idea***. But overall, your lines on characters work fine, but once you hit architecture and artificial surfaces, the wonkiness sorta detracts rather than adds. If your characters were more wibbly, it'd work, but sadly that ain't the case.

Panelling: For the most part, your panel layouts are solid enough *but* the big pet-peeve of mine is uneven gutters. Yknow, the space between panels. Break out the rulers and get that shit to line up. It'll look so much cleaner and so much more ready-to-print. Also, minor note, I can appreciate the cool panel shapes when things start heating up, but you seem to be favoring Cool Panel Shapes over Total Readability. Namely, it's easy to accidently skip panels because the way other panels overlap.

Draftsmanship: Ya keep things close and tight in this comic. While readable, it almost rushes the pacing a bit because everything's so small and tight. Looking at older 9-panel comics like even Watchmen for example show ya how to fit a zoomed out shot in a small panel. So give that one a look-see.

Writing: Like I said, it's a nice departure from the usual Grim Darkness. And Ruuto still has a bad day, but not a Horrible Day From Which He Can't Recover. Personally, I like this Ruuto a bit more, but that's just personal taste. Overall, the quippy writing serves its purpose but doesn't really Go Beyond what's expected of it.

Happy October 20th! -Reecer6
# 9   Posted: Aug 17 2017, 10:42 PM
@JayKat: Getting strokes all in one motion is definitely something I try to do, but it's always been super difficult for me. A confident stroke to me always feels like a very risky shot in the dark. But, I know I've been slacking on even trying for it recently, so I should probably get back on that. Honestly, I think at least in this case, Ruuto and Invyn do have similar body types? So there wasn't a heck of a lot I could do to differentiate them there other than height. I certainly try to keep in mind how generally thick or muscular people are, although I admit my idea of different body types might be a bit more simplified and superficial than it could be.

@Shen: I do generally try to keep people to shapes to begin with? Like, trapezoid or pentagon or whatever for the upper torso, rectangle for the waist. I do play very fast and loose with it, though.

@Heathen: I honestly didn't feel like I made fun of Ruuto at all in this comic. The way I've structured the jokes and such, he plays as more of the straight man, far more reasonable and humane than Jasper or Invyn. The only real criticism it throws at him is that he's a bit of a push-over. I'll admit, the one panel where he starts expositing probably betrays that idea, though, but the entire rest of the comic is how my two almost completely ignore his valid feelings. Like, dude was set up to die, he can be allowed to be a bit emo.

# 8   Posted: Aug 17 2017, 10:41 PM
Can I just say both of you guys are hilarious? Maybe I've already told you, but you both crack me up with your mad comedy skills.
I love these comics, they're both super entertaining. You both did amazing work for a single week!

Reecer -
Your art is getting better and better! I also love how ambitious some of your panels are- namely, that entire first page!!
I like how you went about drawing it without borders, it made it feel busy and action-y. With each new comic I love Invyn and Jasper more and more, they are both charming and very funny and their dynamic is incredibly enjoyable.

Fu -
Gorgeous art, yet again! I especially love how you've drawn Invyn and Jasper, they both look super cute in your style.
The expressions in this one are killer- so, so expressive and fun. Also, great job with all the poses and movement! You did a great job making it feel fluid/ lively.
(I think page 5 is my favorite too by the way, it just looks AWESOME!)

# 7   Posted: Aug 14 2017, 01:26 AM
Reecer: I like how you've taken the melodramatic tone of Ruuto's intro comic and subverted it by comparing it to the familiar nuisance of a cat fight outside Invyn's bedroom window. The whole comic has a flippantness about it that I find amusing, but there are a couple of things that don't play very well.  First, it's hard to believe the other drake would just take off after being blinded momentarily. If anything, that should piss her off more, and cause her to be even more of a problem, especially since her quarry is now inside Invyn and Jasper's house. But, convenient as it is, the plot demanded that you get rid of her quickly. Not a deal breaker, especially since it's meant to be comedic. A simple band-aid for this plot hole would be to just have Jasper comment on how convenient it is. Commenting on a plot contrivance doesn't excuse it, but at least it wouldn't be out of place in this comic, and it's forgivable on a one week deadline. Also, the joke at the bottom of page 6 made me chuckle.

My biggest problem with this comic is one that I often see with what I'm just gonna call "emo" characters like Ruuto, and that's that you don't seem to know what to do with him. You've depicted him as just kind of a dork. He's just so lame. Why does he just start expositing his pathetic backstory about being a weakling when asked? He doesn't show any emotion besides self pity and sheepish confusion. He's talking to the guy who just shot him! Why isn't he angry? I know, the joke is that immediately after asking, Jasper cuts him off mid-backstory, but while that's funny, it doesn't change the fact that you made a joke about how uninteresting Ruuto is. Don't take this the wrong way, but why did you choose to battle him if you're just going to make jokes about him being a bore?

My biggest takeaway from your comic, though, is that "clamshell!" is the greatest sound effect of all  time.

Fukuro: I hate to say it, but I have the same problem with your comic as I do with Reecer's. While not so blatant as to make Ruuto a characature of banality, you've failed to give your own character any agency in this scene whatsoever. He's moping under a tree, he accidentally kills Jasper by sneezing, he gets traumatized. He doesn't make any decisions that advance the plot.

The dialog is written well, it's snappy, natural, and funny. But a character can only mope around for so long before it becomes tiresome. It's pretty clear that you had more fun writing your opponent's characters than you did your own. I'm looking forward to seeing you really do something with Ruuto, because he has the potential to grow into a cool character, and It's obvious that you can make a good comic.

That said, again, for a 1-weeker, you don't have much time to come up with great drama sometimes. And you do a decent job with having the characters bounce off each other. The artwork and dialog is good enough in this short deadline that I'm gonna urge you, as others have urged me, to take on longer deadlines. Do a 4-weeker next time, because I think it will be good.

I really like your choice of scar, and the reveal of it. I look forward to this new chapter in Jasper's life.

      Edited Aug 14 2017,  01:51 AM by Heathen

Global Moderator
# 6   Posted: Aug 12 2017, 10:02 AM
I love these both so much oh my god. I just really love all of these characters this was so worth the drama of uploading them correctly because both comics came out just so damn good XD

Reecer: every comic you get better and better! Loved the epic dragon fight at the start, excellent light and shadow work there. your backgrounds are really filling in too, way to set the scene. Anatomy still needs work... characters still come out a bit blocky, Ruuto's chest was like... way too long, i would have recommended way more reference for that. It feels like you draw AROUND your characters, like, you do an outline first and then fill it in, so they seem a bit flat, i think you should try more building up the shapes, draw rough shapes blocking in the characters and build up from the inside rather than the outside. If this isnt making sense i can link you ref later of what im trying to say. youre actually pretty good at hands though and that shit is hard. i LOVE your writing, always funny shit. The last page cracked me up! I want to fight you >=D

Fu! First off thanks for the cameo, im glad to see even after becoming a couple, Holden flirting with Lily still makes her say "ew" XD Now then! LOVED your palette for this, you are a formidable colourist! Also i love how you draw your opponents, Jasper's pumpkin face is adorable and Invyn's hilariously permanent scowl, and bonus points for keeping him in the suit i liked the suit Reecer draw the suit more. Ruuto is such a dweeb in this its adorable and the scar is hilarious. Pickle Jasper! Im not even sure what to critique that couldnt have just been fixed with more time, just the occasional sloppy anatomy and and unfillled colour spots. Its funny and well made, great job!

# 5   Posted: Aug 11 2017, 11:42 PM
--Come on, people, let's see some actual comments/critiques up in here! Chop chop!--

Aywho, great match from you two! It's always so exciting to see a scar match pop up on the site, and how this could affect the combatants for future battles. Now, let's see...

Reecer -

First thing I noticed are your panels. Before, they used to be random and over the place, but now they are becoming much easier to follow and have a nice flow/pace to them. I also like the colours you used and your lighting effects, though a bit off in a couple areas regarding light sources, they are definitely getting better and better.

Also, this is something I’ve noticed in your art where the lines appear untidy in many areas. As though you drew them in short, multiple strokes rather than singular, confident smooth lines. Practice doing that with your lineart and you’ll see how much cleaner it’ll look for next time. You should also study human figure more closely, especially in Ruuto’s case, because at times he appeared blocky or simply shaped unnaturally. Same goes for Invyn, where both he and Ruuto seemed to have the same kind of body type. So definitely work on studying and varying up body shapes and types.

Overall, I liked this comic. Keep up the good work, Reecer!

Fukur0 -

First off, I’m so happy to see Ruuto getting a complete comic. So big congrats there!

Once more, I ADORE your use of colour in all your comics, be it warm, pastel or cool. And combined with the gritty brush for your lines, it helps give this comic a nice, simple traditional look to it. I definitely dig it! Though I DID notice a few areas where the colour did not fill in and made some of the lines appear jagged, but nothing too distracting. I also think the fire effects, where Ruuto sets Jasper on fire, could have been pushed bit a and given a more flaming appearance (so to speak).

And poor Ruuto, I can’t help but feel bad for him.

Also, I like how adorable Jasper looks in your comic. Just saying XD

Happy October 20th! -Reecer6
# 4   Posted: Jul 30 2017, 09:42 PM
Aside from the excitement of ✨✨ POTENTIAL CLASSIC FANTASY DRAGON-ON-WIZARD COMBAT OF GREAT MAGNITUDE✨ ✨ , I thought a scar match would be a great opportunity to just generally update and improve Invyn and Jasper's reference sheet, as isn't uncommon. They've been on here for a truly ancient 10 months, I've slipped much further into nuanced design I feel comfortable with, for Invyn at least, Jasper's still really all over the place, so now I've got to correctly communicate that stuff. And don't get too excited, but I might retcon Invyn to be a smidgen pudgier, to give him a slightly more unique body type? But not now.


# 3   Posted: Jul 29 2017, 04:58 AM
(ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)ง

Global Moderator
# 2   Posted: Jul 27 2017, 06:13 PM
aww hells to the yeah

# 1   Posted: Jul 27 2017, 06:12 PM

Comic Details -

Type: Scar Match
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Aug 17th, 2017
Votes Cast: 22
Page Views: 510
Winner: fukur0


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