Fire vs. Light! Divine Powers Collide! / Kazue L. Burns

Fire vs. Light! Divine Powers Collide! — Kazue L. Burns

by 4P


218 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9




Critiques & Comments
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zee
Artist
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122 comments
# 7   Posted: Jul 25 2017, 08:10 PM
Really enjoyed the effort you put into the coloring on this one.
Some of your panels have some decent motion to them too, keep up the practice with poses. You're doing great!
I also was able to follow the whole thing easily, so good job with the flow and keeping it coherent.
It's really awesome seeing you improve!

Flutterbyes
Artist
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145 comments
# 6   Posted: Jul 25 2017, 07:10 PM
Your storytelling skills are improving! Although, I'd have to say that if a character is going to really notice something about the other, it should dominate the frame. For example: Kazue's laughter, which is super tiny and almost pushed off the frame. There's also a sort of hierarchy to how much space before and after actions take up on a page, which you pull off better in some pages than in others.  Also, while you're staging your action better, you do need to work on conveying motion and impact so the reader feels those impacts.

I can't help feeling the fight needed a punchline of some sort, though. I'm not sure what, but feel like it was building up to something.

      Edited Jul 25 2017,  07:11 PM by Flutterbyes

Shen
Global Moderator
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1222 comments
# 5   Posted: Jul 21 2017, 08:31 AM
Shoot, man, this is looking so good! These backgrounds and colours are such a step up, you must have learned a lot at boot camp! I agree that kazue and (i think her name is) morgan look a bit too similar But its got good composition and flow and youre becoming a formidable comic artist! great work!

Prometheusd
Artist
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27 comments
# 4   Posted: Jul 19 2017, 06:07 PM
Nice job on the colors, it was an interesting showdown! Keep it up!

JayKat
Artist
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338 comments
# 3   Posted: Jul 19 2017, 04:35 PM
Energy, I commend you for getting yet another comic fully completed. The lessons you’ve learned from Bootcamp are really showing and it’s great to see you continue using them. I like that you’re experimenting more with lighting effects and your poses are starting to become more dynamic as well. You are definitely getting there, just keep on trucking and use LOTS of references to help you out further.

The story itself was okay, but I just want to know more about this rival of Kazue’s and why these two have such beef with one another? And why was it so important for Kazue to beat her, what did she want to prove in doing so? And if it helps, maybe at the start of a comic you could have a mini introductory page of the main characters featured so as to keep viewers up to speed.

I have to echo what Radji said previously. One being how Kazue and her rival have basically the same skin and hair colour as well as figure. If the skin and hair colour was something like a clan trait, then I can get why. But it’d still would be nice to distinguish the two of them a tad if only to tell them apart from the other more easily.

The second being the lighting effects. Remember where your light sources are coming from, because some of the shadows fall a little strangely on places like your buildings and figures. As for the powers, at this point hey just feel like like harmless shapes of reduced opacity blasts, no real oomph or impact to them. Try looking at shows like DBZ as Radji suggested, and even check out some comic books and take note of how they draw out powerful light-based powers. Same goes for how it looks when someone is being hit/punched, show us the pain they’re feeling from the attack and not just blank expressions.

The buildings look too plain and cardboard-box-like. If you look at photos of buildings, be it New York or Shanghai, you’ll see there’s a whole variety of buildings with unique and interesting structures. And you could always try spot-black buildings for an interesting effect, just as long as they’re given interesting and distinguishable shapes and not just blanketed right over.

Radji
Artist
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464 comments
# 2   Posted: Jul 19 2017, 09:03 AM
when Kazue hit that girl with the baseball bat, i think you should have show her more in pain, being hist full strenght with a bat Hurt! maybe by making her bend over or kneel in pain? The Lights attacks don't look really intmidating or dangerous when they hit Kazue, you could maybe make big impacts? DragonBall series are full of exemple for that (srsly that's all they do. Lasers. XD) Kazue's opponent really look like her, same skin tone and same hair color, maybe if you changed at least the hair color? I thought they were related.

Congrat on your victory on your school's topdog, Kazue !

4P
Artist
icon
114 comments
# 1   Posted: Jul 18 2017, 09:11 PM
Just a small heads up, I started this comic about a few months ago (around April, if I'm correct).  I've just been able to finish it just now.  Part two should be coming soon enough.

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Jul 25th, 2017
Votes Cast: 15
Page Views: 293

 

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