Intro Story / Lang Zhujiang

Intro Story — Lang Zhujiang

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# 6   Posted: Jul 7 2017, 06:34 PM
You've got some nice artwork here. Aside from what's already been mentioned, this is a good intro. I think it's apparent enough that the dark haired girl is your character, but it would have been nice if they referred to themselves or each other by name. That was the only thing that really stood out to me as a negative.

Your panel layouts flow well, and your backgrounds appear and drop out in a way that makes your pages nicely readable.

EDIT: Woops. I actually just noticed her portrait is in fact the blonde woman. So yeah, definitely needed to establish who these two characters were a little better, because I really thought the scrappy underdog girl was our protagonist here.

      Edited Jul 7 2017,  06:43 PM by Heathen

# 5   Posted: Jul 7 2017, 01:44 PM
This girl seems like she's gonna be fun in fights.
I'll be looking forward to more KFG stuff.
Oh, and like everyone else has said, your inks are great. Nice job!

# 4   Posted: Jul 2 2017, 08:05 AM
I'm basically reiterating what Pitafish said, but the only thing that didn't sit well with me was the direction of the kick compared to the previous panels. The inks were great, and I am interested to see where you take this character!

# 3   Posted: Jul 1 2017, 11:13 AM
Inks were nicely done, and I like the air of arrogance this tall lady exudes.
But that kick felt clunky.  She's facing her opponent when the fighter strikes, but the kick shot looks like she's either striking from behind her or performed a clockwise turn before kicking.  And then the pose right after as the opponent falls looks like a recover from kicking in a counter-clockwise turn.

I can add a visual guide if this wording is confusing, but the gist of this is that the skill that's being displayed here isn't smoothly executed, and that's definitely something to plan out if the intent of this character is to be a melee fighter.  The action shots need to stick, and this felt like there was some fumbling to get the comic done in a certain amount of time.

      Edited Jul 1 2017,  11:15 AM by Pita

# 2   Posted: Jun 30 2017, 10:11 PM
Yass for more kickass ladies!! Glad to see you seem more comfortable with digital inks, your lines feel more solid here compared to previous comics. I enjoyed how short and simple this intro was too, I think you did a good job conveying the type of character you're going for. Also I'm loving those legs. Legs for daaayys
Looking forward to seeing her in battle!

# 1   Posted: Jun 30 2017, 08:42 PM
Glad to see another member of KFG appear and join. Can't wait to see what you all have planned!

Also, I love your inks so muuuucch. *w*

Comic Details -

Ended: Jul 7th, 2017
Votes Cast: 21
Page Views: 346


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