Invyn & Jasper vs. Lady Vanity

Invyn & Jasper vs. Lady Vanity


342 points
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323 points
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Critiques & Comments
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yarnwitch
Artist
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166 comments
# 16   Posted: Jun 3 2017, 05:53 PM
Oh man Reece that was great. I loved all of it and honestly wished there was more! (not to say that you should do more, only to state that i am intrigued by this plotline!) I REALLY LOVED the commentary as sfx and such. "Like 20 feet" was great, because the "like" seemed like there was some sort of sassy narrator. As well as "structural damage" and i really loved that. I hope that continues in the future! I do wish some of your text on the last page "will not die" would have been bigger for emphasis. You ended up with a lot of "extra" space on the bottom of that page that could have been utilized building more atmosphere. (Unless that trunk is actually important but i had no clues from the other pages to tell me that.)

JETTTTTTTTTTTTT I loved your style. And I don't even mind that this was done as lines, but i wish there had been a little more shading in some of them, though i feel like that comes down to personal preference. Overall, the story felt a little... flat? There was a bit of disjointedness between the colored panels randomly against the panels with just lines, and for a while I thought it was that they were only colored for emphasis and thought: "COOL IDEA" but when I reread it with that in mind, hoping to get more out of it, there was one that didn't feel like it worked as a focal panel, just as a reader. (page 4?) and page 8 was a little difficult to discern foreground and background due to line weights and the intensity of the background, though that may just have been me. Either way I love your style and I hope to see more in the future!

Miss Jetster Fukken Jay ❤︎
Artist
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148 comments
# 15   Posted: Jun 3 2017, 08:44 AM
THANKS to everyone for crit (esp Sabu<3 4eva)

I have to admit with one particular spot with really shoddy inks I actually didn't notice it until after both comics went live and I was reading through mine again. I've NO IDEA how I missed it. A bit disappointing for me. I'm still happy with what I did overall, I didn't run out of time (my original plan was that this wasn't going to be coloured at all, colours came because I thought I'd finished with inks and I thought it would be fun to colour at least a panel-a-page) more a lack of focus and I guess enjoyment because... Seriously I hate inking still and would rather be colouring. It's good to hear I'm on the right track and just need to find that focus though, along with finding a way to make backgrounds more readable.

I think with the larger story this is a part of I'll be looking to a bootcamp or similar to make sure that I don't confuse people with location shifts etc like this as well, thanks for that feedback.

REECER: Dude your story was super fun and funny. Brilliant work on those colours and I love the idea that Vanity would have kept Caelum grounded for the extra business. As others have said - just keep at it with practice. I highly recommend taking photos of yourself for particularly difficult panels to try and get anatomy/proportions right so you have a reference to work from.

Sabulive
Artist
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129 comments
# 14   Posted: Jun 3 2017, 06:49 AM
JETSTER!
I'll crit you first because you are my friend and you always get dibs.
When your inks work they WORK and they are beautiful. They fit your style, they have the right amount of hatching, and the way you drew Invyn is really good. When you have used colour, its a very unified art pallete and the texture you used works. I love Vanity's journey into just snapping is great and her dialogue made me laugh.

Ultimately, the sloppy inks and the fact that not all the comic is coloured hurt your score; the locations were hard to read at some points due to the inks. It resulted in a hard to follow story which was a bit of a shame. BUT PLEASE HOLY FUCK keep up with them inks, because they are beautiful and nice and crisp and i love them.

REECES PIECES
To do 12 finished pages in 2 weeks is fucking ace my dude! I'll echo what the others have said, an overall effort to tighten up yoru anatomy, colours and inks is the path you should take.

Story-wise, the office scene could have been shortened and I would have liked more scenes with Vanity being more antagonistic or at least more teenagers running after the duo, because that is hilarious.

Radji
Artist
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460 comments
# 13   Posted: Jun 2 2017, 11:51 PM
wow good stuff !!

Reecer: that story was top-notch, while there is still the problem of anatomy, i really enjoyed it, and that lil cliffhanger with Lady Vanity is A-grade.**

JJ: i give you  french points for early shooter joke ^^
my real complain here would be with line, they sometime real shaky

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
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1351 comments
# 12   Posted: Jun 2 2017, 04:14 PM
hey hey good stuff!

Reecer6: This is a very good submission from you, a major improvement from past battles in every way. Keep practicing your character design and anatomy and background texturing to reach the next level

Jetster Jay: These are real pretty colors and pretty lines! Most of the time your inks work, especially in the front end, but around the second half there's a few sloppier panels, particularly with the backgrounds and hatching/shading, and line width. I feel like most of your weaknesses is really about time, if I'm to assume correctly that you ran short of it for this battle? I feel like you got the right idea with inking and just practicing it more and more will get your faster and more polished about it.  I got a little confused with the story and had to re-read some pages to really get the location situation.

Keep it up guys hope to see y'all on the battlefield sooner than later

Happy June 23rd! -Reecer6
Artist
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199 comments
# 11   Posted: Jun 2 2017, 11:56 AM
Jetty: I'm just super impressed with the amount of detail you can pack in with such a loose lining style! Everything has a really defined texture and backgrounds feel very solid and real, even if sometimes vague. The cover specifically looks AWESOME. The lettering is also really nuanced and lovely! I'm excited to see the context and also conclusion of this whole city-ruining temper tantrum, and I'm glad Invyn and Jasper got to play at least a minor part in it!

      Edited Jun 2 2017,  11:57 AM by Happy June 23rd! -Reecer6

Happy June 23rd! -Reecer6
Artist
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199 comments
# 10   Posted: May 31 2017, 09:49 PM
I don't have the entire thing uploaded just yet, but I'd like to say that this match up gave way to a lot of interesting dynamics to examine, more than I realized when I first suggested it. I really hope my comic did a good job at addressing some of them! It was fun to plot this out, even if it ended up a bit more dry (I think) than usual.

I definitely, definitely need to work on lettering sound effects, though!!

      Edited May 31 2017,  09:50 PM by Happy June 23rd! -Reecer6

Miss Jetster Fukken Jay ❤︎
Artist
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148 comments
# 9   Posted: May 31 2017, 03:43 PM
Uploaded!

Miss Jetster Fukken Jay ❤︎
Artist
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148 comments
# 8   Posted: May 30 2017, 12:45 AM
THREE DAYS REMAINING!
This has been a fun comic to do and has made me extra excited for some comics I want to link it onto. In the end I decided to focus on my most hated thing which is inking - I am using the remaining time I have to put some colours down for funsies, but would LOVE feedback/tips focused on my inks and how I can do them better as I know they're still not great.

Looking forward to upload!!! Thanks for fun battle Reecer :)

      Edited May 30 2017,  12:46 AM by Miss Jetster Fukken Jay &amp;#10084;&amp;#65038;

Happy June 23rd! -Reecer6
Artist
icon
199 comments
# 7   Posted: May 11 2017, 10:47 AM
i mean, i am too, but i was having a hard time thinking of something fun to comment about, and then i noticed that neat little similarity. you can't let those fun little coincidences just be lost to time. grab them while you can, for their pleasure is fleeting more than anything else.

      Edited May 11 2017,  10:54 AM by Happy June 23rd! -Reecer6

Miss Jetster Fukken Jay ❤︎
Artist
icon
148 comments
# 6   Posted: May 11 2017, 10:42 AM
PyrasTerran:
Reecer6: Both of these characters have precisely four losses and zero wins. Which is going to leave 0-5, and which is going to leave 1-4???????
Quote

I love this reasoning
Quote

Wasn't something I was aware of before now but OK lol. I'm just here to have a good time.

woop woop

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
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1351 comments
# 5   Posted: May 11 2017, 09:24 AM
Reecer6: Both of these characters have precisely four losses and zero wins. Which is going to leave 0-5, and which is going to leave 1-4???????
Quote

I love this reasoning

Shen
Global Moderator
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1193 comments
# 4   Posted: May 11 2017, 06:27 AM
whoa haha holy shit this will be awesome!!

JayKat
Artist
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328 comments
# 3   Posted: May 11 2017, 04:51 AM
This is gonna be goooood >:D

Happy June 23rd! -Reecer6
Artist
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199 comments
# 2   Posted: May 11 2017, 04:27 AM
Both of these characters have precisely four losses and zero wins. Which is going to leave 0-5, and which is going to leave 1-4???????

Super excited to start with the idea I have in mind, good luck Jay!

For reference, this was actually planned a couple days before you all started talking spontaneously about Vanity district in the Discord like a week ago. You all played yourselves into being hyped for this.

fukur0
Artist
icon
92 comments
# 1   Posted: May 11 2017, 04:23 AM
👀👀👀👀

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Jun 8th, 2017
Votes Cast: 16
Page Views: 595
Winner: Happy June 23rd! -Reecer6

 

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