Intro Story / Miwesa

Intro Story — Miwesa


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Critiques & Comments
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The Bent One
Artist
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564 comments
# 8   Posted: May 6 2017, 05:59 AM
Coming in way late, but I'll still drop a comment.

This is really good, solid exposition and storytelling for 2 pages. We learn that some people can see her and some can't just through dialogue, also establishing that she's a ghost without trying to cram a backstory into these few pages. Perfect for serial storytelling, since you can bring up more backstory as she interacts with more people. I really like that we get the basic details while still evoking a sense of curiosity and mystery to the character, and not leaving things so vague or undefined that we don't care.

Line-weights look good, but pay attention to where you add the thicker lines. You can use them to emphasize areas of stress or to make things pop more, and it's worth taking a little extra time when penciling to figure out where you want them to go.

Overall, I think this is a very good intro comic. I guarantee you will see an improvement in your art once you get a few battles under your belt. Good luck!

      Edited May 6 2017,  06:08 AM by The Bent One

yarnwitch
Think Tank
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203 comments
# 7   Posted: Apr 23 2017, 12:20 PM
Thank you everyone! I'll keep those things in mind, and I'm excited for potential opportunities to learn from fighting you all!
(Fite me)

zee
Artist
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124 comments
# 6   Posted: Apr 23 2017, 12:03 PM
Late comment? Oops.
I just wanted to say your traditional art is very nice and I look forward to seeing more of it.
Also Miwesa is adorable and I hope we get to learn more about her soon!

Radji
Artist
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464 comments
# 5   Posted: Apr 19 2017, 11:43 AM
i hitlisted so hard my Marie will fight her

Shen
Global Moderator
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1223 comments
# 4   Posted: Apr 17 2017, 05:36 AM
i love her i will fite your ghost with my ghost

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
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1377 comments
# 3   Posted: Apr 16 2017, 03:12 PM
hitlisted :D

Golden
Artist
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30 comments
# 2   Posted: Apr 16 2017, 08:23 AM
Congratulations! Welcome Miwesa!!! I really like the soft look of your coloring and how you portrayed her transparency. Keep up the good work!

GPS-Device
Artist
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124 comments
# 1   Posted: Apr 15 2017, 10:36 PM
Congrats on getting in to the site!

This is a cute little comic. Overall a pretty good look, and i like how you've chosen to illustrate her transparency. One thing that i want to mention, is something call the 180 rule. Basically, its a film term that boils down to "If we are looking at them from the right, we keep looking at then from the right. From behind, we stay behind" etc. Its important, because it helps preserve a sense of direction in your audience's mind. On page 2, its a bit of an issue, where we jump from left, to right, to left again. This also applied to Miwesa's placement in the panels, as she starts thr page kn the left side of the panel, then the right, then the left again. These issues can be solved by potentially planning your layouts with them in mind, or if you do need to switch the perspective to the other side, using "transition" panels. Basically, having a panel show the character from that Inbetween perspective of the two camera angles. This helps to guide the readers eye, and gives a better sense of visual flow to what you're doing.

Overall, a nice comic, and I look forward to seeing more!

Comic Details -

 
Ended: Apr 22nd, 2017
Votes Cast: 19
Page Views: 443

 

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