Flower Power vs. Merry Softshoe

Flower Power vs. Merry Softshoe

Flower Power vs. Merry Softshoe


433 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5


by Pita


390 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 5Page 6




Critiques & Comments
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petarvee
Approval Committee
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83 comments
# 11   Posted: Nov 9 2016, 10:38 PM
@Flutterbyes Overall, nice story! It took a second read to understand the first bit since we never actually see Flower Power's stunt, or her really pulling off a Merry costume or something. Your figures are cute and got the emotions you were going across just fine! That being said, I'd love to see you push them just a bit more. The tendency to keep the camera at their eye-level really shows your comfort-zone with figures, so I'd love to see you push that a bit more! And naturally, after figures, comes backgrounds. Definitely'd like to see more of those. Certain scenes like their one-on-one conversation is totally fine without em and was absolutely a smart move. But it'd be nice to add a very clear establishing shot with each new scene/location; even if it's just momentary. Anything that makes the reader stop and consider how we got from point-A to point-B breaks immersion, so you really gotta hit em over the head with clarity. And you had a cute-dark joke at the end; but it felt like ya pulled a bit of the punch when you opted for a bloodtrail over a beaten-up-body.

@Pitafish Cute! It's interesting to see the transformation from doodles-on-Discord to finished pages. But that being said, showing WIPs sets a certain expectation which can make the finished product feel like it falls a bit flat. Which hey, could always just be me. Overall, it feels a bit like you relied on the reader having prior knowledge of Flower Power and Merry's dog/wolfmom. Like it definitely read better a second time after I went and looked up everyone involved. And while I don't wanna say "add little info boxes to each character", something that gives some character insight would be appreciated. And onto the next point; the middle-pages felt a bit like you were padding out the page length. Like, FlowerPower flying is cool and all, but there's no wildly challenging shots that really flex your art-muscles, no hyper-detail or crazy aerial-acrobatics; nothing to differentiate the feeling of flight from the feeling of a long car-ride. At this point, it feels like I'm rambling, but what it basically boils down to is: I Wanna See More Substance. Not just more detail or more pages, but just more of an understanding of how characters exist in a space and how their actions dictate how the reader's supposed to feel. As for how to do that with a simpler style, absolutely check out the rad stuff Rhimwill's crankin out.

KarmaLarma
Artist
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48 comments
# 10   Posted: Nov 4 2016, 05:36 PM
Aww these were both super cute. It's nice seeing Flower Power again, and up to her usual business even while being so sweet. Then Merry's comic was simple but still really cute, especially with the connection to the Halloween comics. <3

Great job on both of these!

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
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1375 comments
# 9   Posted: Nov 4 2016, 04:09 PM
Flutterbyes: woah what an ending, great work here, the story feels big and alot happens even with just 5 pages and that's pretty great. The linework is polished but the shading seems like you ran out of time, there's some quick gradients that don't seem to be given enough care, etc.

Pitafish: this is cute and whimsical, and fortunately the halloween comic wasn't too far behind for the last panel to make sense for the readers! It doesn't seem as strong as previous work, I imagine there was a time constraint too

Keep up the great work guys hope to see more

Pita
Artist
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131 comments
# 8   Posted: Nov 4 2016, 05:38 AM
Saint Goddess Shen: These were both as adorable as i hoped they would be i am pleased~
Flutz- I love the story in this but the ending is slightly hard for me to decipher, im not sure who she killed? Or what was fixed?
Quote

From what I could gather, in this story Merry's under a strict contract without much room for negotiation, and it's upsetting him.  FP decided to fix the situation by killing the director.

Shen
Global Moderator
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1211 comments
# 7   Posted: Nov 4 2016, 12:34 AM
These were both as adorable as i hoped they would be i am pleased~
Flutz- I love the story in this but the ending is slightly hard for me to decipher, im not sure who she killed? Or what was fixed? I mean I get shes fresh off a death tourney and murder is probably her cure-all lol but the ending was a bit vague to me. But I adored all the cute costumes, and its great to see FP again!
Pita: What a cinematic flying sequence! There wasnt much to the story but nonetheless it was adorable from begin to end!

Flutterbyes
Artist
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143 comments
# 6   Posted: Nov 3 2016, 04:29 PM
Eeee, you made them so cuuuute! And then you practically storyboarded a whole flight sequence.

^_^ Why didn't I give FP more powers? Flying around Astroboy-style fits them well, it turns out.

But, yeah, this'll make more sense after the party comic goes up.

Fred v2.0.1
Think Tank
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462 comments
# 5   Posted: Nov 3 2016, 11:46 AM
:D just fireball.over
Cute art cute characters cute flying cute murders

Pita
Artist
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131 comments
# 4   Posted: Nov 3 2016, 07:40 AM
OH WOAH CAN I JUST SAY?
FLUTTER??

I'm totally down for this ending, sicc 'em good.

Pita
Artist
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131 comments
# 3   Posted: Nov 2 2016, 11:55 PM
OK, so there's some slight error in continuity because I didn't expect the Halloween jam to be delayed.

But I mostly wanted to draw flying and some cute.
I'm eager to see what Flutter made!

Flutterbyes
Artist
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143 comments
# 2   Posted: Nov 2 2016, 09:51 PM
I'll be honest with you. This entire story exists because of cute outfits.

Shen
Global Moderator
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1211 comments
# 1   Posted: Oct 19 2016, 04:23 PM
THIS WILL BE SO CUTE

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Nov 9th, 2016
Votes Cast: 21
Page Views: 380
Winner: Flutterbyes

 

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