Louise Ambre-Aliona vs. Heratik

Louise Ambre-Aliona vs. Heratik

Louise Ambre-Aliona vs. Heratik

by Radji


348 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10Page 11Page 12


by Syraxis


323 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9




Critiques & Comments
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Pocketmouse
Think Tank
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91 comments
# 11   Posted: Apr 16 2016, 02:35 AM
Spidermum for best mum 204eva. Good job to both of you, some nicely finished comics from both sides! :D

radji
Nice! Although would to see a different story from you next time. Your stories seem to follow the same basic pattern every single time which is starting to make them predictable and on the edge of boring. Branch out into some new ideas and tap into a wider range of emotional reactions for your characters. Try to get your conflict from a new source.

your colours and backgrounds in previous battles have been stronger, and your light sources were all over the place, it might be worth sacrificing page count in future to winnow out the story-excess and focus on getting some higher quality visuals involved.

Having said all that, Louise is a very interesting new character from you, and it would be ace to see you develop her.

Syraxis:
Really nice use of others characters to expand upon your own. The ending was intriguing, although i'm not sure i followed exactly what happened. It would be great to see more of Heratik and get a better feel for what his jam is.

As others have mentioned, the contrast and level of detail/consistency in your backgrounds could do with a boost. Another small niggle would be to  refine your sound effects further. At the moment they don't feel as polished as your characters. I'm not convinced by you having them slip in and out of your characters limbs at the moment, but would love to see you make it work.

Again, like with Radji, Heratik is an interesting character, and it would be ace to see more without compromising the affection you showed towards your opponents character. It's a rare quality and i hope you continue to nurture it :)


      Edited Apr 16 2016,  02:37 AM by Pocketmouse

Heathen
Artist
icon
202 comments
# 10   Posted: Apr 15 2016, 11:30 PM
Radji: This comic started pretty strong, with some good energy and decent backgrounds.  But then you just started letting the black and silhouettes do too much work, and that kind of made your action lose some of its weight.  I really dig the graphic, stylistic approach, but be careful not to let it be a crutch.  Likewise, I'd have liked to see some more thought put into panel layouts.  This comic is about 4 pages of content spread over 12.  

Tyler: Your art is really looking strong here, but not much happened in this comic.  It's essentially the same comic as Radji's, minus the fight scene, although your opening and pacing are better.  I'm loving this comic until Heratik is revealed, and he does what Heratik always does, he hisses and runs away.  He doesn't do anything.  I can tell you really, really love drawing him, but his personality is severely lacking.  And then of course that last page is gorgeous, but it wasn't an ending.  If there were more pages after this, please, finish and upload them as a beyond battle, because I want to see where this goes.

These comics are really similar, but overall I gave the advantage to Radji, his comic just feels more finished.

mortooncian
Artist
icon
106 comments
# 9   Posted: Apr 13 2016, 10:17 AM
SPIDERRRRS

I'm so glad you both turned out such great comics. You both are improving so much, and you can really tell in this match

Radji- Your story is a lot stronger this time around, and I'm glad. I'm also pleased you used the abyssal worldbuilding well!
I agree that the backgrounds are a bit lacking; I also really enjoy how you draw Heratik's human form, but his monstrous form seems a little misshapen in comparison?
Either way, I'm glad for Louise, and that we got to see more of her weaknesses-- not only her babies, but also that her desire to find a Source Of Genetic Material sometimes overrides her judgment.

Tyler- THAT LAST PAGE IS SO GORGEOUS. I wish the story ended more conclusively, as JayKat said, but your angles and action are dynamic as ever. The strong use of colors on dark works very well, and I'm glad there was still enough contrast despite everything being pretty much black on black.

JayKat
Artist
icon
334 comments
# 8   Posted: Apr 12 2016, 08:41 PM
Both have some pretty great comics, both colourful and fun to read, and definitely show just how motherly and protective Louise is of her family. I'm not good at critiquing, but I'll try my best.

Radji - Yours was pretty exciting, especially the part where the daughter was involved and it got me on edge there for a minute. Though, the pages were a bit big for my liking and I accidentally end up skipping the page only to realise that there was more at the bottom than I thought. Downsizing the pages would definitely help. One more thing: the backgrounds were a bit lacking. It'd just be nice to see a little more love given to backgrounds, if only to further establish where the fighting was taking place. Other than that, I really enjoyed it and hope to see more of Louise in the near future.

Syraxis - I can't get over how clean and smooth your line-work is. I was really eager to read more on what Louise was trying to find out. There was some good build-up going on there, only to have it all weirdly cut off on a cliffhanger of sorts. Shame, I really wanted to see more. I'm not sure if this was intentional or you had more pages to showcase, but oh well. I understand if that's the case. Still, I really liked your end. Both of you did pretty good overall.

      Edited Apr 12 2016,  08:45 PM by JayKat

Julz
Artist
icon
337 comments
# 7   Posted: Mar 17 2016, 12:15 PM
Im pumped to see this!! Wish i didnt have to wait so long!!

lanternlovers
Artist
icon
30 comments
# 6   Posted: Mar 15 2016, 03:51 PM
 HYPE HYPE HYPE HYPE HYYYPE

OberonGoat
Artist
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18 comments
# 5   Posted: Mar 14 2016, 09:29 PM
Ooohh, I'm looking forward to this!

mortooncian
Artist
icon
106 comments
# 4   Posted: Mar 14 2016, 05:54 PM
ITS CHRISTMAS IN MARCH

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
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1375 comments
# 3   Posted: Mar 14 2016, 05:13 PM
YAS

Radji
Artist
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461 comments
# 2   Posted: Mar 14 2016, 03:39 PM
St. Shen: amazing matchup! good luck, i cant wait to read this!
Quote
thanks senpai^^it's going to be AWESOME !!!!

Shen
Global Moderator
icon
1211 comments
# 1   Posted: Mar 14 2016, 03:33 PM
amazing matchup! good luck, i cant wait to read this!

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 3 weeks
Ended: Apr 18th, 2016
Votes Cast: 16
Page Views: 700
Winner: Radji

 

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