Holiday 3-Weeker / Coatl

Holiday 3-Weeker — Coatl

by Coatl

Coatl
290 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6

tags: holiday



Critiques & Comments
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Mister Kent
Artist
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937 comments
# 8   Posted: Sep 22 2015, 05:49 PM
Coatl - Welcome back! I'm escited by how much your style has grown since you've begun at Void. I liked how you used the soft graphite effect for both shading and as a sort of soft focus in scenes--as Rofl said, it's very photo-like. That is really clever. Keep it up and make more comics!

Sean Patrick Kelly
Artist
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117 comments
# 7   Posted: Sep 20 2015, 08:32 AM
I really enjoyed this Coatl and it's great seeing a comic from you again. That last page left me grinning ear to ear

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
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1340 comments
# 6   Posted: Sep 19 2015, 04:18 PM
Coatl: Entervoid needs more of you in it, and I hope this is a sign of more to come! it's good to see you playing around with effects and textures more; you want to be careful and consider when and where it's appropriate and where it needs more adjustment, don't be afraid to use the lasso tool to fill in smaller details without losing them, like the girl's lips in page 2 so they don't end up fat and clown-ish, or the girl's leg in page 3/sandboarder in page 4 so that there isn't that unnatural halo because you were afraid of the brush bleeding across the edge. lasso tool + separate layers will help with that, use all the tools you can to make your vision come to life!

Great comic and don't you stop!

GOD DAMN IT ROFLQU
Artist
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1039 comments
# 5   Posted: Sep 19 2015, 06:49 AM
I know how long you been working on this and how much you've been changing from your original goals, so it's really cool to see the final product here.

The grain on the panels looks really nice as does your "color choice", it reminds me of photographs, as does your choice of lighting on the frames (your intent, I'm sure). Overall, it's a nice aesthetic choice and it really helps carry the look. If you do flashbacks moments or something of the sort in the future, take confidence in that this looks like a really great option.

I really think our main dude on page one is really kind of stiff looking with his swastika run. The girl looks much more natural and while I can understand the idea of not wanting carbon copy poses, I would do something more natural, because he looks like he's in a full march instead of running (kind of a Hanna-Barbera run cycle going on).

The dude also has some problems on page 2 when he slides down the hill. Something about the mouth feels a bit off to me, as does the eyes? I recognize that we're getting an up-shot and while it doesn't look bad, it looks sort of wrong. I also can't help but notice that his mouth is moving over to the left so as not to be covered up or intersect the girl's hair, which just makes me notice it even more that you didn't just have his mouth in a correct position and then have the girl's hair move in whatever way you want. Her hair can do all kinds of movement and still feel right. I know you were under deadline for your zine, but the mouth has much less room for wacky movements with the style and look you're attempting to portray here.

The girl's body on page 2 also kind of tricks me in the middle panel. I keep on thinking her legs should be the dude's legs because of the direction her spine's going, and the dude should have the girl's legs. The first time I looked, that's what I read it as, because I don't immediately notice her spine is going in a < direction. I would have changed her legs so it's a / direction, so that her line of motion is more readable.

Small thing on page 3, but when the snowboarder is talking about the girl with dark hair, I didn't immediately register it, because you didn't bother to color her hair dark. Her eyes aren't the same, but I was a little confused because the hair should probably be dark there, to keep our 'main' girl the only one with light hair.

I would have liked a close-up with the Christmas tree to see the candles on it. In fact, on page 4, the girls are hooting for the boys, but I would have liked that opportunity to show them with candles in their hands to help demonstrate where the lights are coming from on the Christmas tree instead of taking it for granted necessarily. Certainly we don't NEED a reason for there to be lights, but it's a bit of continuity that helps play the story on.

I really like the last page, I think the Merry Christmas kiss is a great 'snapshot', but that final shot of the desert kind of feels like an emptier note to end on than the kiss. I think it'd feel better if we happened to see the people there sitting and looking at the sky as a group or if it had been around earlier, but I feel like we should see that last panel earlier in the comic. Possibly as a replacement to the sun going down shot.

The background and the desert looks good, I think you captured the sand well with the grainy style. Overall, I know you were under pressure, but I think you really rose up and made yourself a nice comic within the tight constraints you had on yourself. Great job.

Coatl
Artist
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318 comments
# 4   Posted: Sep 18 2015, 12:40 AM
Elyan: well thats adorable. artwise i have nearly no complains. maybe the contrast. but well its in the desert so maybe  thats not too out of place.
i think the overall quality is pretty strong. but you handled the backgrounds so good. i feel like you put alot of effort into a convincing show there. i would have liked the same impression on the character art. its like two persons working on it with different skill levels.

on a nother note i love the desert theme combined with the winter season activity.
really well done.
Quote

Thanks for the feedback, I agree with what you said regarding the different feel between the bg and the characters, since I'm not so experienced in bgs, I should definitely strive for more cohesion. Same withe the contrast. I'll definately make sure none of the pages looks out of place from one another.

I'm glad you like the concept as well!

Elyan
Artist
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54 comments
# 3   Posted: Sep 18 2015, 12:23 AM
well thats adorable. artwise i have nearly no complains. maybe the contrast. but well its in the desert so maybe  thats not too out of place.
i think the overall quality is pretty strong. but you handled the backgrounds so good. i feel like you put alot of effort into a convincing show there. i would have liked the same impression on the character art. its like two persons working on it with different skill levels.

on a nother note i love the desert theme combined with the winter season activity.
really well done.

      Edited Sep 18 2015,  12:27 AM by Elyan

Coatl
Artist
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318 comments
# 2   Posted: Sep 17 2015, 04:42 PM
PyrasTerran: what's this? WHAT'S THIS!?
Quote

just a little side thing I did for a zine.

 have my thoughts on it but this would be something good to get feedback on after a solid year or two of no comics on the site.

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
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1340 comments
# 1   Posted: Sep 17 2015, 04:35 PM
what's this? WHAT'S THIS!?

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Sep 24th, 2015
Votes Cast: 14
Page Views: 455

 

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