Ahh that's what I was afraid of Wei, you're completely right, I have much to learn still! I'll stick to my guns though, lineart and comedy. And I wont experiment in tourneys.

I wasn't able to vote on this but I want to reward the effort spent with a proper commentary/critique;

JULZ: while I commend you on experimenting this particular effort was not successfu as a technique or as a story.....l despite growing more controlled and readable in the last two pages...from my perspective at least it was disruptive for the veiwer and in addition to appearing to be unfinished rendering it also appears to be an unfinished story with a very abrupt and unrealized ending

OTAKU: you have continued to improve and are using a lot of tricks to address your earlier lack of dynamics.. but for someone who has such an obsessively large and muscular main character you are still lacking in rendering the human figure and making a lot of anatomical errors...and using so many in one story only makes it seem  as an attempt to cover up shortcomings in your ability to tell a stroy graphically which isn't actually the case...in fact it is just a question of your focus as an artist not your ability

..... and for all of your efforts towards visual excitement still fall short in regards to anything beyond the figures with little to no attention for settings and backgrounds....even causing lighter less punchy-kicky moments to pale in comparison due to their relative empty blandness

JULZ- I was really intrigued by your first page.  I've been itching to see the scar Nyasuu got manifested in your battles, so taking it to  queen of void in this trippy nightmare sequence really piqued my interest. I'm only sorry it seemed the deadline for this tournament got away from you. I'm so used to a certain quality and detail to your comics that this really threw me.

OTAKUTAYLOR- T3T Tsumi for president! <3 Seriously, she is one big muscly mountain of good time feelings. Is there anyone Tsumi can't get along with? I swear, each of her comics just warms my heart. This comic had some really impressive sharp inks and dynamic angles- especially in the brawl out wrestling sequences. I especially like the extreme perspective with Nyasuu's hand coming at the viewer. My only complaint (if I'm gonna be nitpicky about it) would be your speed lines. They blend in so well with your linework for figures and background elements that I didn't quite realize motion was happening in the panel until I gave it a second read through. It's most apparent on page 4, panel 1 where Nyasuu is sweeping the leg, but I just figured it was her shaggy kitty pelt. All in all though, this was a charming read. Way to go balls to the wall dude!

Julz             -

             The problem with the first two pages just seems like the line was soooo textural it was hard to read clearly. It was kinda like what happens when you draw to make a precise drawing on really heavily toothed paper with a soft tool. You totally figured it out by the later pages though.

               Your colour choices were really pretty, I like the super green park right night the soft purples of the hospital.



OtakuTaylor        -

                       Your inks are incredibly tight and exact. I think you're also getting way better at hatching along the movement of the form, so that even with big, bulky characters like Tsumi, there's a sense of movement and action. I think you can improve your lines further by actually letting go a little bit. Some of your fight scenes feel less like moments of pure action, and more like frozen snapshots. Try using less lines, pick and choose where you strongly articulate to aid the composition and sense of movement. Also think about adding suggested line to your stuff. I'm super bad at it, but I think it would really help bring even more life into your work.

                         You're like the master of justifying the fight scene at this point dude! You have so much love for action, but you never fail to provide us with great emotional context for a struggle, and that's amazing. I did think the comic was entirely metaphorical, like a visualization of what-if based on how the characters thought it would go. I think you really only needed one more panel at the end to show it was a real thing that happened afterwards, like maybe just Tsumi helping her up off the ground? As it is, you left the end of it settled pretty firmly at a point when it seemed like it was just analogy.

                       Also, that was really impressive posing! So much intense and difficult foreshortening, you should be incredibly proud!

Thanks for the comments everybody~ ^_^ I loved your comic julz! You really did a great job of capturing who Tsumi is, and your colors are amazing! You have a lot of control of using hues to show the setting and playing with tones, but I would recommend looking more into cast shadows and the direction of lighting to add a bit more depth.

As for mine, I realize now that people have pointed it out that the fight kind of comes across as wholly symbolic, while the intent is that is genuinely does happen after their conversation. It's symbolic of the pep talk, but also a fight in itself. There's always more I wish I could have told, with even a single extra page and wrap things up proper, but I suppose that's for next time. hehe.

I'm glad so many people like the art though. I wanted to try extra hard and do something that deserved being given that most improved title. I know I haven't said it, but thank you all so much.

Yeah I switched styles midway through, it's all digital I didn't know what I was doing with it in the first two pages and I was unsure how to fix it, but I guess i could have tried re outlining the first two. I honestly wanted to add more but all the painting killed my time, it's not something I usually do. A part two would certainly be in order. I'm glad everyone liked the dream :3 I could have done so much more I'm sorry void </3

Tay your inks are so clean and pretty it makes we want to punch you XD and the probably-metaphorical fight scene was really cool and actiony. I dont mind the pep talk thing too much because you spiced it with cool action stuff and I think after, erm, ah, losing her last battle *awkward cough* she would probably need a pick-me-up. hell it looks like she needs one in Julz' side so Im going to decide these are a two-parter with Julz' side read first =3

Julz as usual your colours are so pretty! Im just sad its so short T.T where is she going? come back here you cant just brush off Tsumi like that! fine, she'll get you in the waiting room in Tay's comic XD I think this is a good follow up to the last comic though cuz she probably would have trouble trusting people immediately after that... thing. The thing what happened. You seem to be using different tool for pages 1 and 2 versus 3 and 4. Is that intentional? the latter half is a little sharper and I think I like it better. Also, cool blood dream! Sorry it wasn't longer but its a cool comic and I liked it!

julz I liked it! but I agree with the general sentiment and wish there was more content. this would have been great for a regular battle, but for a tourney everyone's gonna be wanting more I think.

taylor your art is gettin real good! like real dang good. not to much happened in this one either though.. but I can appreciate the "fight" scene to break up the monotony, which I'm gonna guess was the intention.

Julz: THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL. I love the colors and how painterly it is! Such a shame there really is not a lot happening in there ;_; Not sure if you really need the texture in the gutters And I love the crazy nightmare in the beginning, I am a total sucker for dream sequences.

Taylor: Your art is superstrong and I totally agree with what Dan said. But I didn't like the story at all ;_; Like it's just like Nyasuu is getting a pep talk and nothing really happens. It's reassuring and full of like positive message but for me also quite boring and soppy. I am so sorry ;_;

Julz - Good stuff, but I agree that it could be a little longer. It feels like we only got part of the story and that more was maybe intended? Either way it looked nice, though also a little bit like maybe it was drawn very small and then enlarged once scanned? I don't know how else to describe that. I think your lettering could be cleaned up a litle bit, but I liked the color, and the dream-like feel of the first page especially.

Otakutaylor - Good stuff! I liked the pacing of the story and the back and forth. Am I correct in that the fight was sort of metaphorical and/or happening in Nyasuu's head, hence her putting herself down, and Tsumi telling her not to be that harsh on herself? I thought that was cool. Nice fight scene moves, too. That fall down, kip-up kick to the face was awesome!!!!

Julz: I like the pacing and the colors and the mood, but I'm bummed it's so short

otakutaylor: cute story, as per usual your dialogue's solid. I couldn't quite get the fighting scene though, as in, I'm not sure if it's a flash back, a flash forward, or just symbolic? Also, I would have gone a 2nd round on the bottom left panel of page 4, it looks more like she's making a funny face for lolz, rather than that she's about to choke on her own blood.

good job guys!

Phew, Got mine submitted as well. I am SO DANG CURIOUS what all these comics are gonna look like~

 yeaaah submitted :\ its gunna be a little short

Last day rush, let's get it DONE!

I knew there was a reason I was practicing muscles, and here it is.

ooh, this will be a great one, I've always wanted to see this!

OH SNAP! ::Cracks fingers:: I got some serious work to do if I want a shot at winning this one! Give me your best shot Julz. May the true queen triumph!