Amelia & Lucas vs. Genie

Amelia & Lucas vs. Genie

Amelia & Lucas vs. Genie


404 points
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366 points
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Critiques & Comments
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Mister Kent
Artist
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937 comments
# 11   Posted: Jan 9 2014, 07:42 AM
BETTER LATE THAN NEVAHH

Slagglle: I love your bold lines and strong color work, and will take this opportunity to once again commend you on your incredible artistic development. I also liked how you depicted Genie's powers. I will agree with Puzzle, that overall there could be greater shadow contrast, but this was a great read!

Karma: Firstly, WELCOME! And congrats on the first match being so awesome. I find your character designs adorable. Be careful with your lines--in some places the thickest of the lines take away from the art, especially around the word balloons. Overall, this was a very fun read though, and I can't wait to see you battle more!

Mister Kent
Artist
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937 comments
# 10   Posted: Dec 27 2013, 12:38 AM
Ahh I didn't get to write my critique! Great job on both sides--really entertaining--more in depth coming soon!

Puzzlething
Artist
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457 comments
# 9   Posted: Dec 24 2013, 08:57 PM
Slagglle            -

                 I think you could get a little more exciting with your lights and shadows. There's not a huge value shift between your darkest darks and your lightest lights, and you could really push that. You could also play around with more complex shadow colours, shifting the tone of your shadows can do wonders for mood and visual interest.

                 Beyond that, this is an amazing comic, holy shit dude. Your like one of my favorite artists on void right now. Not only are your backgrounds so glorious and well thought out, but I reeally REALLY like your composition and the shots you're choosing. Like, you do such an amazing job varying your angles and placement. The way you did the action scene with Genie felt so good. That like panel here her punch curves into the shot of the dude getting crushed just feels perfect. I like your use of dutch angles for some of the actiony stuff, it's something I've never tried before and you make it look so good I just gotta do it now.


KarmaCharma          -

                           There are a few spots where your figures look a little flatter than a person should be. You can notice it most of all at their waists.Like, they don't curve enough/exactly right. When you draw a form, you need to keep in mind how they take up space, let the sides of the object you can't see inform the sides you can see. The easiest way to keep that stuff consistent is to create them first out of very simple, 3 dimensional shapes that you can then build on. The shapes should be simple enough that it doesn't take you that much time to set up, but still provides a useful guideline later.

     I'd like to see some interesting backgrounds, but I know how the deadline can loom over you. Just keep in mind some setting love for next time.

                      I really liked the monochromatic colour scheme, especially how there's actually two colours there, a cold and a warm color. It really livens the comic up, and gives you a way to emphasize stuff and keep everything clear. And the story was great. Cute, fun  dialogue, and distraught Genie was totally adorable. This is definitely one of the better first fights dude, you should be super proud!

Quartney
Artist
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27 comments
# 8   Posted: Dec 24 2013, 06:29 PM
Slagglle: great work!! Albeit shorter than Karma's, I was able to get a sense of your skill through your 4 pages. I was especially impressed by your coloring skills!
Karma: very creative! Although the dialogue was a tad silly for me, I felt you were able to really have fun with it!

Bittermause
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242 comments
# 7   Posted: Dec 18 2013, 05:06 PM
Slagglle: Lot's of good stuff happening in this entry! Short and sweet indeed. :>  I do agree with Angie that you could do with varying the contrasts in the coloring, maybe having the backgrounds a lighter and smokier colors as they are pushed into the distance. Your perspectives, backgrounds, and pacing are excellent and you have a good variety of them!

Karma:  Great first impression dude!  Though the only main issue I had was with the word bubbles, since they were covering up quite a bit of your artwork. I suggest giving your pages some more real estate outside of the panels (making the gutters or outer frames thicker) so you can have the bubbles sit more on the edge of the panels to avoid unnecessary coverups. It's a good idea to play around with different bubble shapes to help you consolidate space. Asides that,  I really love how you played off the purple/pink color schemes through the entire entry, and the ending bit was adorable hahaha.  I look forward to seeing more!

Angie
Council
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1937 comments
# 6   Posted: Dec 18 2013, 12:21 PM
Slagglle-Yay finished comic! Your stuff is always great so I'm happy you were able to finish this up! Your lines are great, but your colors need a little more work. They aren't bad, but your tones are all very neutral with the same value so it doesn't allow anything to pop out. Like when we get into the scene where Genie is fighting, even though Genie is wearing some obviously bright clothes, she doesn't really pop from the background. It may have helped to make the building behind her a bit lighter than her so there would be more contrast between the foreground and background.

Karmacharma-Good first battle! I liked the monochromatic color palette and the style a lot. One thing I noticed right away is your lettering. Try to make sure that you're centering your text and try to size the word bubble appropriately. You don't want to have tons of extra space around the letters. (you also don't want it too close to the letters! It's a weird, delicate balance) On page 3 I was a little confused about the layout of the top 3 panels. Ordinarily the top panel is read first, then the bottom, then the right one. I obviously figured it out after reading that sequence once, but it's something to consider.

KarmaLarma
Artist
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48 comments
# 5   Posted: Dec 17 2013, 10:47 PM
I've got mine in! ovo I didn't expect to be busy today so I had to cut it kind of close with the lettering, but I got it done. I'm excited to see what you came up with! c:

Slagglle
Artist
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61 comments
# 4   Posted: Dec 17 2013, 10:25 PM
All uploaded. Tried to keep it short and sweet.

Can't wait to see your side, Karma.

Bittermause
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242 comments
# 3   Posted: Dec 14 2013, 03:12 PM
This is a pretty choice match up! I look forward to reading both your sides, and best of luck!

KarmaLarma
Artist
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48 comments
# 2   Posted: Dec 3 2013, 01:31 AM
Thanks! I'm excited for it. c: Good luck to you too~

Slagglle
Artist
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61 comments
# 1   Posted: Dec 3 2013, 01:20 AM
Good luck Karma, and have fun!

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Dec 24th, 2013
Votes Cast: 19
Page Views: 588
Winner: Slagglle

 

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