Doodle Dan vs. OS-1

Doodle Dan vs. OS-1

114 points
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121 points
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Critiques & Comments
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Darius Corry
# 8   Posted: Nov 13 2013, 11:47 AM
In my defense, Puzzlething : all mentioned was not intentional. All due to me uploading the "not final" jpegs.
But I have had a disconnect with bgrounds since being on void.

# 7   Posted: Nov 13 2013, 10:34 AM
Psycho Sean           -

                         Jesus dude, I like Sketchbook, but you can't touch stuff up in it. Sketchbook is like only good at sketching. Get photoshop or gimp or something! Quite a few of your last few fights could've been massively improved by some cleaning/adjustment in post, and dudes have said so before.

                         I like the thin lined, textured backgrounds you do in a few panels, but it's only a few.  The rest are all dudes talking in a void or with a few things behind them. I do think this comic is clearer and easier to read visually though, photo aside, and I think your characters faces are getting stronger. They feel a little more three dimensional, and the facial expressions are way more recognizable.

Mrnoitaull              -

                      ughghghghghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh huge pages. Just a tip for peeps, if you don't wanna scroll like crazy you can right click on the page and hit "View Image" and you'll at least be able to see the whole page at once.

                     Your world feels kinda barren. You completely ignore backgrounds in a bunch of panels, and the times they do shop up they're incredibly simple and flat. You need to show your world the same love and care you put into your characters.

                    I'm not really sure how I feel about the pencil overlay thing you've got going on. I think I would've liked it more if you'd been willing to erase it away to pure white sometimes, like the first page. As it is, sometimes it just feels like it's getting between me and the art, and it clashes a little bit with anything digital.

                    The drawn monster stands out badly. I know you wanted it look like "a monster drawn into the world" but I think you should've found another way, because as it is it just looks badly drawn. There's nothing visually interesting about the way his sketchiness is done. You draw people really well too, so I know you've totally got what it takes to make something lovely. In general, your dudes are pretty clean and well-drawn, you just need to spread that skill and attention around a bit more.

Community Manager
# 6   Posted: Nov 9 2013, 08:06 PM
It's been a while Psycho Sean but I like what I'm seeing, you've definitely improved by a lot while still retaining your signature style.  I think the problem before was you used to be bogged down by the details on your characters but now there seems to be a better sense of balance and design.  The flow of the comic isn't too bad either but what makes this comic hard to read are two things: One, you need to fix this up in photoshop so it can be seen more clearly online.  Do you have a copy of Photoshop?  You should be using the curves tool (or level tool) to make your darkest blacks into a pure black and the lightest color on the page into white.  Secondly you are overstuffing your word balloons.  I agree with their placement but there's so much text going on that I'd say try to economize or break them up into more balloons.  

The backgrounds could also use some love.  Backgrounds can be used to establish mood and setting and unfortunately you're not giving them nearly as much love as your characters.  Also continue figure drawing studies to improve your anatomy and dynamic action.

Mrnoitaull, I know you said it was an accident but man it's a bit frustrating when pages are that big haha.  But it does help me to see something in my monitor that I think you could fix.  Match the darkness of your spot blacks with your word balloons.  Their digital nature sticks out because they are the darkest thing there.  The difference is probably subtle but it does cause the words balloons to stick out like a sore thumb, they don't feel integrated.  I believe you always did your comics in pencils right?  It's pretty cool to see your linework here, it is pretty clean and nice.  I really enjoyed the shadows you gave the objects on the desk at the beginning.  

All the scrolling makes it hard to judge the overall flow of the comic but this is definitely a skillful entry.  Though again the backgrounds need some love as there is a lot of negative space or at least that's what it seems like.  

Sean Patrick Kelly
# 5   Posted: Nov 9 2013, 07:35 PM
ps Loved all the facial expression!!

Sean Patrick Kelly
# 4   Posted: Nov 9 2013, 05:44 PM
Welp, no contest here, mrnoitaull your comic was fucking awesome! the angels were great and the dynamic poses worked well with the paneling. It felt like there should have been word bubbles in some places but i could follow the story fine. overall Fanatastic.

As for me sorry for the poor quality I tried to do a photo and clean it up on sketchbook pro because my scanner wasn't big enough for my drawings (paper is 11'' by 14''). I also couldn't get to a place to scan them in time. I'm still working on my comic and ill post it as a BB when i'm done.
Again im sorry for not finishing guys (especially to you mrnoitaull) but don't worry i not working a second job anymore so it shall be done!! Thanks man for the fight and great comic !!!

Darius Corry
# 3   Posted: Nov 9 2013, 11:48 AM
sorry for the huge pages, i sent the unfinished ones instead. wrong labeling.

# 2   Posted: Nov 9 2013, 11:06 AM
Sorry for the lack of thumbs! Had to put these up from my phone.

Sean Patrick Kelly
# 1   Posted: Oct 15 2013, 07:57 AM
should have said this in the beginning but good luck!

Comic Details -

Drawing Time: 3 weeks
Ended: Nov 14th, 2013
Votes Cast: 7
Page Views: 398
Winner: Darius Corry


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