Mona & Lisa vs. Pinn

Mona & Lisa vs. Pinn


271 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3



340 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3




Critiques & Comments
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Puzzlething
Artist
icon
457 comments
# 11   Posted: Aug 31 2013, 06:36 PM
GPS           -

            Try to use simple shapes to set up your peeps a little more, especially their faces. Like, it would totally help with that under the chin shot on the bottom of page 1. That's a really hard angle to draw the head at though, so I can't really blame you.

             When you're first trying to figure out exactly where everything is/roughing it in, try to work way lighter, or with a much harder pencil so you simply can't get super dark. This'll make it easier to aid complex details later, keep the drawing cleaner and easier to read for inking, and it'd definitely lead to better line quality. If you keep your roughs light and delicate, you'll be able to finalize the line with one confident mark, rather than a lot of little ones.

            Dude, you stopped sucking a long time ago, relax. You're definitely one of the most improved artists on the site, and you make me feel bad for not working harder to improve my own stuff as much. Get your situation all settled, come back, and make some more awesome comics.


Lazereyes           -

                      Perspective is way off on the first page. It kinda feels like you tried to do 2 point perspective without actually placing the left point down. All the lines that would be receding towards that point seem completely parallel.

                      I kinda wanna save getting really into this until you post the whole thing, just cause it looks like it's gonna be really good, and since you'll be adding grey tones later too. Hope that's okay dude, it really does look like it's gonna be a great comic though!

ultraman400
icon
17 comments
# 10   Posted: Aug 27 2013, 02:01 PM
This comic is good.

otakutaylor
Artist
icon
173 comments
# 9   Posted: Aug 26 2013, 10:23 AM
T_T

Geeps: I like the idea of the story you have so far, and your basic paneling is nice, would have liked to see you play with the panel borders and shapes again though. I know it's extra tough traditionally but the sisters and their haunted hotel just seem to work well for uh... non-geometrical panel lines. I think.

Lasereyes: Nice lines, though your perspective seems a bit off on some of the panels (I know how hard it can be with lines alone to convey visually) and I don't know if it matters to much but a majority of your panels have the subject in the exact middle of the panel. You might move the compositions around and get some greater sense of space.

GPS-Device
Artist
icon
124 comments
# 8   Posted: Aug 25 2013, 01:18 AM
I seem to continue to drop the ball. I've submitted what I've got, though it's not all that much. I was trying to adjust working a job, transferring schools, and moving all at the same time, and I just let it get away from me. I won't have internet either for the next couple days, But I would like to wish Lazereyes the best.

Hopefully I can stop sucking at some point.

Bittermause
icon
242 comments
# 7   Posted: Aug 22 2013, 05:10 PM
Aww what a bummer I won't get to see the whole thing right away. :<
I can't wait to see the completed comic though! Hope your desktop feels better too.

Lazereyes
Artist
icon
128 comments
# 6   Posted: Aug 22 2013, 03:45 PM
I have uploaded the first three pages of my comic. Due to some computer issues, I'm having trouble finishing up the rest of the pages. The part I need for my desktop will arrive in a few days, and I will finish up adding text and grey tones on all 10 pages and submit as a beyond battle.

I apologize in advance for everyone, especially gps-device. But my computer is give me a lot of trouble when using the programs I need to scan/tone/text my pages.

GPS-Device
Artist
icon
124 comments
# 5   Posted: Aug 4 2013, 05:57 PM
Have to use an extension on this. The past couple weeks have been crazy hectic, and I haven't had much time to do much of anything.

CrunchMcbuttsteak
Artist
icon
129 comments
# 4   Posted: Jul 17 2013, 09:41 PM
I cannot wait! Good luck to both of you and all my kisses to my lovely lady Lazereyes.

Qyzex
Artist
icon
670 comments
# 3   Posted: Jul 16 2013, 07:30 PM
super raaaaaad!

Bittermause
icon
242 comments
# 2   Posted: Jul 15 2013, 08:18 PM
I'm super excite. Do well you two!

E.W. Schneider
Artist
icon
1041 comments
# 1   Posted: Jul 15 2013, 01:05 PM
NO DEFAULTS GEEP.

Good luck to you both.

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 5 weeks
Ended: Sep 1st, 2013
Votes Cast: 21
Page Views: 657
Winner: Lazereyes

 

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