Intro Story / MARS

Intro Story — MARS

by Monday


490 points
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Critiques & Comments
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Charlie
Artist
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725 comments
# 6   Posted: Jun 28 2013, 03:24 PM
Cool, glad to see you are back, but I am unsure if I really like the character. The intro doesn't really give me a good idea of who he is, I found myself more interested in that Owl looking fella and the whole nazi storyline than what was presented at the very end of the comic. Unless of course the Owl mask guy is in fact him, but I am more confused than genuinely intrigued to find out of the kid is him or not, though judging by his design sheet I don't see that mask on there at all so I'm not entirely sure. I just felt like overall this was an intro comic for a totally different character with a kid tacked on at the end. However I am sure in due time you'll make whatever happened more apparent.

The transparent bubbles are a bit of an issue I have with this comic too. For me it always feels like the artist drew a panel and gave very little thought to where the bubble will go and didn't want to cover up their art. It's not a huge deal for me, but it is something that definitely doesn't help me to read the comic. Since your comic is primarily grayscale and your text is black - on the darker panels it gets very hard to read. I also have to echo what Puzzle said about cramping the letters - I also find a lot of the text inside the bubbles is horribly placed off to one side or the other as well. To me it's a lot more visually pleasing when you try and give a little bit of breathing room to the words as well as trying to get them as centered as you can in the bubble so there is equal room on all sides. Doesn't have to be perfect but it helps me to read your stuff.

I also think your style has really developed but I still prefer when you make your stuff tighter. It's a lot easier to read when it is - I've especially seen a strong level of clarity in some of the old pencils you've posted on here before. You and I suffer from similar problems in that our styles make use of heavy black inks (and in many cases pages are primarily made up of them) that if we don't treat it carefully things get really hard to read. So maybe just paying more mind to tightening up the images would help as even within this comic all the undefined splotches of blacks and greys made it very hard to tell what was going on. I think including more background shots would help as well, or at least provide more establishing shots to get a better idea of the surrounding. I have no idea what a few of these areas look like! There is no real sense of depth because of it I feel.

Again, I do like the idea of the story involving the nazis and the time travel elements. I feel it makes a stronger story based on what I am reading here as it stands. Stuff like that I've always found to be a bit cool so it kind of played a bit into my interest in that. You definitely know your way around VOID and how to make solid comics I guess there was just a bit here I wasn't really feeling. Can't wait to see you fight all the same and just how many people you're gonna end up killing as a result. It is nice to see you jumping back into the ring now though :)

Puzzlething
Artist
icon
457 comments
# 5   Posted: Jun 28 2013, 10:31 AM
 Ahahaha, I think you're reading too much into people not commenting dude.


     AHHHHH MONDAY! The way you use light and shadow is just amazing. Every time I see your grey scale stuff it makes me want to do more of it myself, in the hope I could make something that looks half so good. I really love how loose and devil-may-care the art comes out, and it only works because you have such a firm grasp on exactly how everything is supposed to look and feel. Pure confidence. I enjoy it most when you go back into it with a small brush and add points of articulation for the the eye to focus in on. I think you mostly nail it, but there are some spots, like the Void City establishing shot, that get a little mushy. Those clouds and that transition though, oh man, so nice.

        I really really dislike transparent bubbles. It always comes off like the artist is afraid to cover their art and it creates problems with readability. I think they only work as a visual cue to show something is being spoken very softly, and even then the art behind the bubble needs to be very bare or you risk having the words get muddled. Also, you're cramping your letters super bad. In some places your words are touching or even exiting the bubbles.

          Why is your design sheet the 4th page? It doesn't help the storytelling at all.

        You're such a crazy good artist Monday, and I'm so excited to see you making comics here again. The stuff you do with your art and idea's makes me want to push my own stuff so much farther. You throw in amazing visual idea's all throughout your work like it's nothing. I can't wait to see the king fighting again!

Chimaeric
Artist
icon
247 comments
# 4   Posted: Jun 27 2013, 11:12 AM
Monday deserves credit to attempt that which most voiders don't very put very much thought into or actively seek to avoid. That is, to touch upon ideology. Yeah, the way Monday does it in the MARS intros is a looney revisionist take on the topic of ideology, involving time-nazis and an obscene amount of swastikas. But that is exactly what Monday intends, to go deep into that dark alleyway of absurdity that few voiders dare to explore.
Finally, i think the point can now be said that there is a certain fear within the community in regards to exploration into sensitive topics, because such explorations demands a fierce and critical response, and unavoidably drama, which is the big taboo in most web communities.
 If Mars was just unpopular and not intellectually confounding as I'm reading it to be- then I don't see why such a concept for a void character such as Mars shouldn't garner a greater response since it would be simple to simply comment on the quality of the art in the intro comics itself.
Of course it isn't that simple.

Thresher
Artist
icon
166 comments
# 3   Posted: Jun 27 2013, 01:50 AM
Why does this not have more comments?

Instantly added this character to my hitlist. And only slightly because it's Monday. Some cool design work and (as usual) funky blacks going on here. I'll edit later with some more coherent thoughts.

Monday
Artist
icon
919 comments
# 2   Posted: Jun 25 2013, 10:41 AM
Sure why not.

      Edited Jun 25 2013,  11:15 AM by Monday

The Bent One
Artist
icon
548 comments
# 1   Posted: Jun 25 2013, 10:24 AM
I'm a little confused. Is the owl headed guy one of MARS's enemies?

Comic Details -

 
Ended: Jul 2nd, 2013
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