Jessie Valley vs. Mr Awesome

Jessie Valley vs. Mr Awesome

by Energy


146 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7


by Wolcik


363 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5




Critiques & Comments
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Thresher
Artist
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166 comments
# 13   Posted: Dec 11 2012, 04:47 PM
Energy! I;m afraid I don't have much to add beyond what has already been said. If you really want me to go into it, hit me up in the chats next time you see me.

What I will say is I am continually impressed by how hard you are working and how much you are improving since you arrived in VOID. Keep working at it and you'll be rocking with the pros in no time!

Thresher
Artist
icon
166 comments
# 12   Posted: Dec 11 2012, 04:43 PM
Wolcik: This is probably one of the best battles I've seen you put forward. It's short, succinct and has a high and consistent quality throughout.

Saying that, you still slip on a couple of things. Firstly, the story is fun, but not really satisfying. The mood whiplash of  Jessie is almost neck breaking. She goes from rejected-denial-crazy to angry-anguish to confused in a very short space of time. This is compounded doubly by the fact that the ending seems nonsensical and doesn't really conclude the earlier problems. Funny? Maybe, but not satisfying.

Another thing I think you should keep an eye on is how you shade the colours, it looks quite flat lacks the depth that shading is supposed to bring. This might be because it looks like you've just done it in a low opacity black brush, rather than using actual colours.

My final quarrel is with Page 2. It looks like you changed the layout on the page last minute and forgot to edit Mr Awesome's arm out. This is just confusing. The angle used in the final panel isn't great, and although you have some great shots of flipwulf, you don't actually push the panels that much. You seem to have settled into easy stuff you can cope with, don't do that.
Push yourself until you almost break.

Overall, impressive effort! Want more of this quality and higher from you.

Bobo
Web Dev
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865 comments
# 11   Posted: Nov 22 2012, 07:01 AM
Wolcik, we totally need to have that battle now. You've improved a lot since the last comic of yours I read, and this story was entertaining. You did a good job of pulling some personality out of Jessie in a way I wasn't expecting. My only real complaint is I have no idea what's going on in the second panel of page 2. I'm loving the expressions and body language in this comic, so yeah awesome!

Energy, I have no comments for you until you finish a comic. I think everyone else has said anything I would have said anyways. I'm glad you keep drawing and challenging yourself, but maybe try to make a shorter comic so you can make it more finished next time. You might also want to do a 4-weeker or just take a break from comics and practice drawing scenes and characters until it comes more naturally for you.

Wolcik
Artist
icon
492 comments
# 10   Posted: Nov 16 2012, 02:36 PM
As much as constructive criticism is awesome, I appreciate the simple feedback on the emotional impression my battle did - keep them up, cause I know there will be more votes.

neeners: I'm not strong at coloring, and I lost the passion after putting on the colors, and barely shaded it at all. I didn't notice until now that the building had similar color to awesome, as I did the background beforehand and kind of at random picked colors. I also didn't exactly follow through with the placement of blood :P

Now I know I should use firmer brush for shading, and add more people in the background.

      Edited Nov 16 2012,  02:38 PM by Wolcik

Shen
Global Moderator
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1238 comments
# 9   Posted: Nov 16 2012, 02:21 PM
energy, backgrounds in perspective! Very nice, thats a huge improvement! Keep practicing that! But I couldn't read the text... I have no idea what anyone was saying! But you did say you couldn't finish so these things happen. Next I think you should start working on making sure the faces of all your characters don't look alike ^^;
wolcik OMG YOU KILLED FLIPWULF XD XD oh my god you crack me up, and your expressions were really great! I will never get tired of Mr Awesome!

neens
Approval Committee
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259 comments
# 8   Posted: Nov 16 2012, 01:35 PM
energy I can't even read this cause it's mostly illegible /: what is that grid over everything? get rid of it. don't be afraid to use a ruler. everything looks scratchy- try not to go over your lines repeatedly. make one quick solid line. work on anatomy and perspective, etc. it's also unfinished, again. maybe take a break from battles until you have the time, or take longer challenges.

wolcik, not bad! I have to admit I'm not a big fan of the color choices though. the bgs seem as vibrant as the characters. is it day or night? I can't really tell. like on the last page, mr awesome's purple is almost the same as the purple building behind him and it really flattens the image. and the 3 shots of jessie's face- green, blue, then red? the red I can see since she's angry in that panel, not sure about the other two. it just seems too complicated, and a simpler palette would be more effective.

Rah
Artist
icon
57 comments
# 7   Posted: Nov 16 2012, 12:19 PM
Wolcik: Hahaaaa loving the flipwulf reference. This was very entertaining! I LOVE Mr Awesome a bit too much ok. Even if some of his powers are very gross.... *shudder*

Energy: It's nice to see you employing more backgrounds this time around! They really do make your comics more interesting to look at, instead of there just being a lot of blank space. But keep working on your basics like perspective and proportion - I noticed a lot of heads changing sizes and stuff like that. As for the linework, were the ink smudges intentional? If not, might want to keep an eye on that or use a different pen, (although I kinda like the texture it gives? haha.) Also, I would definitely say you should ink your speech bubbles or change the levels in a graphics program before you upload, even if you're not finished drawing because I stopped even trying to read what they were saying after about page 3. But I admire your "Energy" (hohoho see what I did there) so keep on battling and practicing!

Pennydox
Artist
icon
230 comments
# 6   Posted: Nov 16 2012, 12:09 PM
Energy, how big are you drawing for your comic? I think the characters look stiff because you're drawing too small to understand the depth of the picture/frame. Might sound odd but try drawing your comic on a bigger piece of paper. I am not sure if you're drawing the character before the environment/background, or drawing the background before the character, but I think the character's bodies don't look quite intentional because they don't seem to interact very well with their surroundings...might want to switch up that method for a week and see what happens. I'd like to know what those grid lines are. Seeing those ink blobs I assume you are inking by hand. Try just using a ballpoint pen to start out with--nice, simple, and dries immediately. And remember to have whiteout next to you,...just in case.

      Edited Nov 16 2012,  12:12 PM by Pennydox

Majikura
Artist
icon
465 comments
# 5   Posted: Nov 16 2012, 10:13 AM
wocik: omg flipwulf. and here i was wondering if everyone forgot about him already.  I'm not worried thoughyou killed him though, he can probabbly backflip his way out of hell.

energy: please take one look at your own hands and figure out which side the thumbs are on.  almost every other hand you draw that aren't "robot hands" you fail to communicate which side is the palm and which side is the back leading to some shot where it looks like thier hands are backwards.

Energy
Artist
icon
116 comments
# 4   Posted: Nov 15 2012, 10:58 PM
Uploaded whatever I could get done.

Wolcik
Artist
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492 comments
# 3   Posted: Nov 12 2012, 12:02 PM
Uploaded the version I'm done with - I could do more but I need to do something for Scrumpy too

Shen
Global Moderator
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1238 comments
# 2   Posted: Oct 26 2012, 07:41 PM
go go go! =D

Video320
Artist
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114 comments
# 1   Posted: Oct 25 2012, 08:58 PM
Energy, you are unstoppable. Already another challenge? good on you.

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Nov 22nd, 2012
Votes Cast: 18
Page Views: 705
Winner: Wolcik

 

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