Scattered / Wizzie Belles

Scattered — Wizzie Belles

410 points
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Critiques & Comments
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# 12   Posted: Mar 26 2012, 12:30 AM
Damn you double pooooost.

      Edited Mar 26 2012,  12:31 AM by MyHatsEatPeople

# 11   Posted: Mar 26 2012, 12:30 AM
Thanks Animeshen and Kuro! I was trying out something new here so it seems i still need to polish and tighten up the work. Thanks anyway guys!

# 10   Posted: Mar 25 2012, 04:53 PM
Art's fine but I thought the pacing & layouts were a bit lacking. This wasn't a story so much as a monologue & the biggest chunk was just on the one page. Ideally, I try to keep the dialogue under what would fit comfortably on an index card, with no more than six lines of text in a panel. These are just weird stipulations I've put on myself, but the point is to keep the action & the text as even as possible. Really it would've been a bit more intriguing to spread the dialogue out over actions & small visual cues. Even if she's not being too active, utilize angles or non sequiturs. But if you optimized this to the text & panels that actually relay information itd only be a page & a half.

Global Moderator
# 9   Posted: Mar 23 2012, 06:45 PM
I'm sure I don't know much compared to a lot of the really talented people that have already commented, but I sort of liked all the negative space, I thought it made her seem.... a guess lonlier. Just a thought... and I love your expressions!

# 8   Posted: Mar 22 2012, 04:31 PM
Thank you all for the kind words and crits! Much love :) x

# 7   Posted: Mar 21 2012, 08:49 PM
I really love how you can create such depth and atmosphere with simply 3 tones. I feel that takes real skill.

Also, its both a criticism and compliment I guess... Your compositional sense seems really powerful, but then theres also a lack of detail and it can almost feel like your filling a page with blankness BUT I've found that when people use large areas of black, or white... and then that small area that they do concentrate on, adding a few more intricacies, can really give it some punch.

I'm a bit tired so this may be a bit incoherent, but that was my first impressions. :)

# 6   Posted: Mar 20 2012, 04:50 PM
What Thresher said. Some visual backup for all the talking would have been nice, but it was still easy to follow.

A bit more shading would have helped you out quality-wise. Lots of flat space, could really benefit from more shadowing.

Wizzie is always a pleasure to read about, though. So I still enjoyed this. <3

# 5   Posted: Mar 20 2012, 01:43 PM
I'll say again that you could have pulled the dialogue dump out a few pages, and mixed it with the flashbacks for extra visual effect.
You had a very low page density, more cinematic than comicky.

Looking forward to your next lot!

# 4   Posted: Mar 20 2012, 03:01 AM
Thanks William! I'll be sure to take on your advice for future comics, definately text placement and to calm down my dream sequences to make them clearer. I was trying to attempt a technique that an artist called Ross Campbell does for his graphic novel 'wet moon' for a slow paced effect with few panels per page, but i'll work on it and try different techniques for pace also. Thanks again!

Community Manager
# 3   Posted: Mar 18 2012, 09:22 PM
As always Hats I enjoy your style and the fact that you're currently a very active face on Void.  Which is something I can't say about myself...haha.  This is short and sweet which is fine and it's great that you've gone as far as to take the initiative to incorporate a story element from another battle even.  You've got lovely storytelling and nice imagery but I do have two issues when I look at this.  One is the placement of the text into the word balloons.  The best thing is to try to center the text and make sure it's not touching the sides.  You've got all this text on page 3 (which personally I don't mind) but some of it is distracting exactly because of what I've just mentioned.  So in the future watch out.  Either make the text smaller to fit or shape the word balloons around them.  

Now for the dream sequence in the second page.  Personally I love high contrast and this is no different.  It's great but at the same time, it's too jumbled even for a dream sequence event.  There's nothing separating the images from each other and they're all evenly spaced and have the same amount of white space.  For example, there's that one scene in there where Killer Byte is sneaking out the window and Wizzie is left behind sleeping on the bed.  I can tell that that is all one scene but compared to the rest it's a bit lost in the jumble.  There's probably plenty of ways to fix this sort of thing but the suggestion I would make would be to have thin white lines as your panel borders in this case.  What's done is done though so keep this in mind for later.

One final thing I want to talk about is something I've begun to notice as I talk more about comics lately.  It's something I have to work on and it's advice I'm going to start pushing on people.  Don't be afraid to push panel density.  I've complimented you on your imagery and storytelling, but the truth of the matter is that there is too little happening on the pages themselves.  Again I have no problem with the wordiness on page 3, but there's so much space in that background!  This is the fault of some modern comics as well but it's something I would like to see people work on and have in mind as they work on their comics, that people should try to increase their panel density and increase the amount of storytelling happening on individual pages.

# 2   Posted: Mar 18 2012, 03:42 PM
no fears

# 1   Posted: Mar 18 2012, 01:53 PM
Ahhhhhh D: I always get nervous before a comic is on the site.

Comic Details -

Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Mar 25th, 2012
Votes Cast: 20
Page Views: 820


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