Before I Sleep

Before I Sleep

vanilla wafer
364 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10Page 11Page 12Page 13Page 14Page 15Page 16Page 17Page 18Page 19Page 20Page 21Page 22Page 23Page 24




Critiques & Comments
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vanilla wafer
Artist
icon
21 comments
# 14   Posted: May 8 2011, 04:51 PM
@cherubas I didn't realize it was so unclear- what happened was that, Fate ripped the ground away from under Rachel's feet. That is all! At the end, Rachel was just placed back in her bed by Fate, who will continue to watch over her (hence the clock with her face and incessant tick-tocking).

JoshuaEliGilley
Artist
icon
461 comments
# 13   Posted: May 6 2011, 09:49 AM
Damn Wafer, serious level up! It seems like you already know the issues you had here with story/pacing, 1 suggestion that might've been cool in this scenario is to end the story on page 19 or 21, would leave the reader with a really hopeless feeling for the char.  Art-wise, I would just say some of your pages needed the levels adjusted, because you could see too many brush strokes in the black and it was a bit distracting. It looked good as is on pg. 21, but looked bad on pg. 17 for example, or maybe just apply strokes with a pattern or design intent instead of filling in, since it never applies totally flat.  

Great job, hope to see more from ya on here!

Cherubas
Artist
icon
175 comments
# 12   Posted: May 5 2011, 05:43 PM
I really like the art style you chose here. At first I wasn't so keen on it, but the more I think about it, the more I think it helps accentuate the creepiness/surreal feel. That being said, I'm not a fan of interpretive surreal stuff. She hits the girl with the rock and suddenly she's falling again. Unless the surprise twist is that she's lagging really bad and has rubber-banded back to the cliff, you've confused me beyond what my simple mind can comprehend. Naturally, since that moment derailed the story for me, nothing after that truly made sense cause I couldn't figure out if she was in her own house, the kid's house, or a completely new location reached as the result of the second fall. I probably don't represent your target audience, but I did enjoy most of the story. At the risk of sounding six, I did feel the cussing was a little out of place. I'm not entirely against swearing or anything, but the way it was used here seemed to make the demon seem kinda dimwitted rather than sinister. Just my opinion. Overall though, this was a pretty cool story. Kudos.

Kuro
Artist
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581 comments
# 11   Posted: May 5 2011, 08:59 AM
Didn't care for the way you just dropped the exposition in a cramped little panel all at once. Something like that could've been elaborated with on a page of its own & had a bigger & sharper impact. It really kind of took me out of the events here. Beyond that, I like it when artists utilize page real estate & make the most of the space they're given to work with. The big blank gutters are an effect but at times felt a little overbearing. Like you could've used half the space, got more art in & still have the same effect.

That aside, the art was very nice. Really enjoyed the colors in this & the twists the story took were pretty sharp. All & all it was pretty damn good. Do more comics already.

Dimension
Artist
icon
486 comments
# 10   Posted: May 2 2011, 10:48 AM
This was great. It is my kind of comic too; I love the setting and surrealness of it all. These types of stories I always seem to find interesting. I can't say I am a fan of the huge gutter space though, but that's just me. Awesome job with the water colors and the drawing quality. I hope to see more from you :D

Fearn
Artist
icon
343 comments
# 9   Posted: May 1 2011, 11:54 PM
It's gotta be  great day - started with reading this awesome comic :D

vanilla wafer
Artist
icon
21 comments
# 8   Posted: May 1 2011, 10:38 AM
Thank you Toast!

Kevin Birtcher
Allfather
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287 comments
# 7   Posted: May 1 2011, 10:28 AM
The last few pages are being added, and I've reset the voting.  Once this returns, those three that had cast votes previously can do so again with the comic now complete.

Angie
Council
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1937 comments
# 6   Posted: May 1 2011, 09:40 AM
You have to contact Toast, the uploader doesn't take past 20 pages due to a bug

vanilla wafer
Artist
icon
21 comments
# 5   Posted: May 1 2011, 09:22 AM
Oh shit, wait- the last five pages were completely lost in this! Is there any way I can fix this?

vanilla wafer
Artist
icon
21 comments
# 4   Posted: May 1 2011, 09:20 AM
:) The thing about the pacing- I had intended for this to be much, much longer, but for school we had to do a "concentration"- 12 pieces of art surrounded by the same thing, so I figured I would do a 24 page comic (1 piece=2 pages), and finally get around to an idea I had been sitting on for several months. Unfortunately a lot of the plot and pacing was lost in the shortening :/

Red
Council
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629 comments
# 3   Posted: Apr 30 2011, 11:06 PM
VANILLAAA WAFEEERRR!!! <3

I'm really happy you're posting this here! This is really lovely, I have to agree with RabbitRabbit though. I thought everything was perfect until page 14 when it's like OH YEAH THIS STUFF HAPPENED and it seems really important and it was just briefly mentioned. I thought the pacing was perfect until that point. Isn't this missing a few pages? I kinda like it ending on this page though.

rabbitrabbit
Artist
icon
334 comments
# 2   Posted: Apr 30 2011, 09:22 PM
AWESOME!!  

I have been waiting for YEARS to see a comic from you!  =D  

The artwork is gorgeous, and better yet, very easy to read and follow despite the more esoteric narrative.  Very cute.  

The story is a little hard to get into, though.  It's kind of abrupt, and there isn't a lot of development for any of the characters or the background, just a brief mention.  Still, I really like the little act of rebellion at the very end, that made me laugh.  

Keep it up!  DO MOAR!

E.W. Schneider
Artist
icon
1041 comments
# 1   Posted: Apr 30 2011, 03:37 PM
Hey, awesome idea. Glad you're putting this up.

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: May 8th, 2011
Votes Cast: 16
Page Views: 609

 

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