Invitational Tournament 2010: Round 2 / Trix vs. Abura Oribu

Invitational Tournament 2010: Round 2 — Trix vs. Abura Oribu

by Base


428 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5



538 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7




Critiques & Comments
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Shojin
Artist
icon
92 comments
# 20   Posted: Aug 19 2010, 09:16 PM
@ Base: There's improvement here.  Backgrounds of course need to be filled in more, I didn't get the sense that it was a mall until later.  Malls are usually packed with people and all sorts of adverts, merchandise, and display windows.  I also think you need to reference people running/walking, you need to work on those still shots of that kind of action.

@ Abura: cute story, I liked the dialogue.  As mentioned by Phil, there needs to be a little more detail for your backgrounds.

Good job you two, hope to see the next comics you work on.

Base
Artist
icon
56 comments
# 19   Posted: Aug 16 2010, 03:14 PM
It's not so much unfinished as I don't work very well with just a week, I'd say. I tried my damnedest to produce the best I could but I got a migraine and no sleep and blah blah blah, I know, excuses. But I didn't default, and that was all I feel I could honestly hope for, so I'm okay with what I got done here.

Make no mistake, I'm definitely going to be sticking around and pushing myself a great deal, already got a bunch of beyond battle ideas lined up and several people who want to fight! Just gotta balance it out with school so I don't screw myself, haha.

Phill
Artist
icon
895 comments
# 18   Posted: Aug 16 2010, 02:03 PM
Not bad.


Base: Definitely a step up from your previous comic, but it's still lacking quite a lot. Also I'm assuming this isn't finished? Well, you gotta plan these comics out in advance, otherwise your quality will suffer big time! Also Backgrounds, do more of them!


Vanilla: Why didn't you join earlier? This character is sickeningly cute! Anyway, you need to push your self a bit more with your backgrounds as well, and every now and then, don't be afraid to lay down an establishing shot and include other characters into the background and foreground, it's details along those lines that will really give your comic a really professional feel to it.


My vote went to the Waffer, but I hope you both keep pushing yourselves!

Fred v2.0.1
Artist
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464 comments
# 17   Posted: Aug 16 2010, 08:08 AM
Cute little story, guys! Any excuse is good for a little girl time XD

Angie
Council
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1937 comments
# 16   Posted: Aug 16 2010, 08:07 AM
Yeah like I think that one thing on Void that gets stressed a bit too much is DIFFERENT CAMERA ANGLES ALL THE TIIIME haha In my experience trying to do different camera angles all the time hurts the readability and flow and it's best to just do it when it feels natural. Just you do *have* to do it every now and then especially when it'll help your clarity if you do a slightly different angle

Base
Artist
icon
56 comments
# 15   Posted: Aug 16 2010, 03:03 AM
Holy freaking crap. That was awesome Vanilla. I feel ashamed of my quality!

Angieness: Yeah, I sometimes get stuck in that (trying to keep the 180 rule is a habit from animating, and I try not to do bad cuts to keep it clearer). I'll definitely practice some different angles and layouts. Thanks for the tips!

William_Duel
Community Manager
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885 comments
# 14   Posted: Aug 15 2010, 11:07 PM
Pong is the expert toner I'd say.  Go bug him about it.

Angie
Council
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1937 comments
# 13   Posted: Aug 15 2010, 11:01 PM
Damn they were toned! haha it was sooo subtle I couldn't see it

vanilla wafer
Artist
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21 comments
# 12   Posted: Aug 15 2010, 10:56 PM
Unfortunately the tones have a lot more texture until they are sized down :( I wish they stayed more half tone-y.

Angie
Council
icon
1937 comments
# 11   Posted: Aug 15 2010, 10:51 PM
Base-Quality wise this was a step up for you from your previous comic! It was good to see something a bit more finished up this time around. One thing to watch out for though is all your panels are very similar in angle and composition. Since you're working with action it might be good to move the camera just a tad so it's not just a straight on shot. Like the first panel of page 3 I was a little confused by what she was jumping over and an adjustment in camera angle could have made it clear. It's cool to not move the camera around a FUCKTON or anything since trying to move it every single panel will hurt you, but every now and then when it's appropriate would help.

vanilla wafer-I really enjoyed the character interaction between the two and the difference in feelings they had about one another at the end was cute. Now this isn't so much a crit as a suggestion, but since she's supposed to be an anime girl it may be neat to try and experiment with the whole half tone pattern/newspaper look tones have in manga. It may also be fun to play with pattern and such.

Orion
Artist
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179 comments
# 10   Posted: Aug 15 2010, 09:56 PM
So cute from start to finish and nice on the continuous story. :)

Angie
Council
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1937 comments
# 9   Posted: Aug 15 2010, 09:33 PM
Yes we are aware of the problem Rofl. No one's going to die.

E.W. Schneider
Artist
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1041 comments
# 8   Posted: Aug 15 2010, 09:22 PM
Whooooops. Death Match error.

Base
Artist
icon
56 comments
# 7   Posted: Aug 15 2010, 06:55 PM
I know! I honestly can't wait until I get knocked out of the tourney so I can really put out something worth looking at, lol. Good luck!

vanilla wafer
Artist
icon
21 comments
# 6   Posted: Aug 15 2010, 06:18 PM
Uploaded, I'm on the same page as you Base, these one-week battles are killin me!

Base
Artist
icon
56 comments
# 5   Posted: Aug 15 2010, 10:52 AM
Just uploaded pages and sent thumbnails to Angie and Wei. I'm not too pleased with some of the pages, but I was able to ink everything this time and I didn't default, so I suppose I'll deal with the quality. Hopefully once I can have more time to work on the comics I can produce better stuff.

Good luck Vanilla! I hope everyone enjoys!

Angie
Council
icon
1937 comments
# 4   Posted: Aug 14 2010, 10:08 AM
Should be very nice!

Cherubas
Artist
icon
175 comments
# 3   Posted: Aug 9 2010, 08:45 AM
Unusual. Can't wait to see what you guys do with this matchup!

Dr.Salt
Artist
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90 comments
# 2   Posted: Aug 9 2010, 06:01 AM
Lots of opportunity here. Ganbare Oribu.

Base
Artist
icon
56 comments
# 1   Posted: Aug 9 2010, 05:50 AM
OH SNAP! This should be interesting! I'm gonna have to pull out all the stops just to stand a chance. Good luck Vanilla!

Comic Details -

 
Type: Tournament Match
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Aug 22nd, 2010
Votes Cast: 28
Page Views: 758
Winner: vanilla wafer

 

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