Invitational Tournament 2010: Round 1 / Sasa Geisbert vs. Ivan Reinhardt

Invitational Tournament 2010: Round 1 — Sasa Geisbert vs. Ivan Reinhardt


814 points
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by Shojin


863 points
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Critiques & Comments
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BoneyardScribe
Artist
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9 comments
# 22   Posted: Aug 9 2010, 11:35 AM
Congrats Shojin! Best of luck in your future battles!

Shojin
Artist
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92 comments
# 21   Posted: Aug 3 2010, 10:15 PM
@ Phill: I intend to make my future battles cleaner and more dynamic, thank you for your critique.  This being my first comic I've ever done, I've really learned a lot from the experiences as well as reading through other people's comics.

@ Blinkspeed: Glad you liked it all. :D  I have to admit, I was really at a loss with how to start even before the story came through about how the two characters would interact because they are so different from each other.  I wouldn't mind doing another joint again in the future...maybe the far future with a longer drawing time.  I was so worried that I wouldn't make the deadline on my side, I don't want to leave my opponents/partners hanging with half the story when doing two-parters like this.

Blinkspeed
Artist
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22 comments
# 20   Posted: Aug 2 2010, 06:48 PM
that was absolutely adorable! I'm amazed that you two worked together on one comic in only a week! the story was great and I loved both of your characters so very much!

Shojin
Artist
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92 comments
# 19   Posted: Aug 2 2010, 05:46 PM
Thank you for the comments and critiques!

@ Base:  I will definitely keep your advice in mind in the future.  I agree that my paneling was very basic, so I will take care to explore different and more varied ways in telling a story.

@ Cherubas: I would love for Ivan and Boek to have a battle.  We actually decided and discussed linking the comics with a single story at the very beginning. I'm surprised it worked out pretty well since we only vaguely discussed who was going to do what.  The end of my comic and the beginning of Sasa's comic couldn't have been more perfect.

@ fowlie:  I'm glad you liked the story.  lol, that shaggy guy on the sofa is supposed to be Nova.  I wasn't sure if anyone would recognize him as such though.  I felt I didn't translate it well enough into a chibified form.  I'll definitely do my best in the future to add more detail as well as more background characters into my future comics.

@ Sasa:  I know I've already said this, but THANK YOU very much for battling with me.  I had a lot of fun with this even with the time constraints and other stuff the impeded my progress with this comic.  I really love how you drew Ivan btw and I like the chibi version of him on your opener/note page, it's so cute!  Ubarg is an awesome bear I intend to use him in future comics rest assured. : D

Phill
Artist
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895 comments
# 18   Posted: Aug 2 2010, 05:20 PM
OK, lemme say that first off, I've got a bias against comics that are 2 stories combined, mainly because it undermines the whole competition part of it all, and it seems kinda pointless to work together only to have one person win while the other gets a loss. I would like to see how the two of you handle a battle one against one and see how well your stories handle on your own. The story here wasn't really my cup of tea, just a small scuffle at the circus doesn't seem like much to warrant a collab effort.


Sasa: Not bad, but looked very messy.

Shojin: Your art was the better of the two so I gave ya the edge in this battle, still you've got a lot of stray pencil lines here and there, and the art isn't much to look at.


Welcome to void you two.

fowlie
Artist
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177 comments
# 17   Posted: Aug 2 2010, 09:47 AM
2 part comics are a great way to get a lot of story in a one week battle.

Sasa: The story was alright.  I wasn't too into it but it worked.  I liked the bits of color, like on the fire breather, very cool.

It looks like you didn't have enough time to refine your art, but you got a lot done in a week, good job! but WORK ON YOUR HAND WRITING. I love doing hand drawn text, and I love how it looks in other comics, but I learned a long time a go that if you are going to hand write, you need to go slow and make sure its neat and readable.  I had some trouble fallowing your dialog with the messy hand writing.  You should try printing, and drawing lines in your word bubbles in pencil with a ruler.  

Shojin: I'm not sure why anyone would do to the circus to watch someone play with a Diabolo, but maybe I am just spoiled from watching all the collage kids down getting high and screwing around with them. Anyway, Your part of the story was the better one.  ADORABLE! :D And hey, that shaggy guy on the sofa looks familiar...

I wish your art was more finished, but your pencils looked pretty good.  The streets seemed really empty, I want to see more background characters walking around. Nice job.

Cherubas
Artist
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175 comments
# 16   Posted: Aug 2 2010, 12:19 AM
I know what you mean! This was rough. The only way I got mine done was cause I promised myself I'd aim for being done by Friday night. The truth steamrolled me and I ended up being done at about 7 am Sunday. I hate going to bed after the sun's come up. XD

BoneyardScribe
Artist
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9 comments
# 15   Posted: Aug 1 2010, 11:45 PM
Thanks to Cherubas and Base for the tips! I've actually have NEVER done serious comics before so..this is a first for me..plus the time thing..yeah. I dunno how I survived this, lol.

Cherubas
Artist
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175 comments
# 14   Posted: Aug 1 2010, 11:38 PM
Really cool that you guys linked your comics.

Sho: After reading this I'd like to pair Ivan up with Boek even more but that's beside the point. First I want to agree with Base... Actually, I think Base covers about everything. So imagine that I just retyped everything Base said but with more stupid puns.

Sasa: Again, because I'm slow and unoriginal, Base has summed up about everything I want to say. Although I also want to add that you should try to add a bit more background to some of your panels (mostly the ones with the inside of the tent as background). Many of your panels DO have interesting little tidbits so I know you're capable of it, and if you've read my comic you're probably thinking "wait, wasn't he the guy with the crappiest backgrounds ever in life?" because I do hate doing backgrounds, but in terms of constructive criticism I feel I should point that out. I think a random crate or stagehand or even a simple seam in the tent here and there, little stuff like that will help make big periods of blank backgrounds (for example page 7 and the lower half of page 6) a bit more exciting. I assume you wanted to focus on the action, which is cool, just try to keep from having too many panels with little to no background in a row, know what I mean?

Good luck to both of you with the voting, and good job guys! Seriously. There seem to be a lot of "I ran out of time near the end" comics up right now, so I'm proud that you guys managed to finish your story.

Base
Artist
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56 comments
# 13   Posted: Aug 1 2010, 10:47 PM
Nice to see a story come together! Some crits:

Shojin: I'll start with you, since the story starts with you. I liked how much detail you put into the (admittedly less interesting part) story, even thought it was a very laid back and calm piece. Good job on the anatomy and perspective, the characters feel like they fit inside the backgrounds, which is pretty difficult to do. The pacing was well done as well. In the future, I'd like to see more dramatic poses and more interesting camera angles, but this is a great first showing.

Sasa: Really liked the characters expressions in this one, and the story was quite succinct and easy to follow. However, in the 'fight' with the bear, the poses felt really stiff, and the angles and backgrounds suffered a good deal. I think this will just require doing more practice with the dramatic poses and camera angles I suggested to Shojin. Great fight!

Shojin
Artist
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92 comments
# 12   Posted: Aug 1 2010, 10:28 PM
Posted.  :D

BoneyardScribe
Artist
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9 comments
# 11   Posted: Aug 1 2010, 05:49 PM
Thanks to the both of you!

Charlie
Artist
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725 comments
# 10   Posted: Aug 1 2010, 05:33 PM
You can check to see if your pages uploaded if you go into your manager > Upload a comic > click on the comic you're working on, and then it should display them like a regular VOID battle and you can read what you have uploaded and stuff. Its a good way to check : D, if they're not there then I guess just email 'em.

Angie
Council
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1937 comments
# 9   Posted: Aug 1 2010, 05:32 PM
If you don't see it now you need to try to reupload! Double check and make sure all your files are a reasonable size (300kb or below)

BoneyardScribe
Artist
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9 comments
# 8   Posted: Aug 1 2010, 05:10 PM
I uploaded my pages but I dont see nothin yet...Imma check again later. Ohhh I hope it uploadessss.

Shojin
Artist
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92 comments
# 7   Posted: Aug 1 2010, 11:00 AM
Er...When we planned this out, the way our comics are supposed to be read is supposed to be Ivan first then Sasa second because we planned out an entire story and split the parts with me doing the beginning and her doing the end.  Totally forgot that Sasa's would be seen first since she's on top.  So yeah, just wanted to let that be known and sorry for the confusion. >.>X;; I don't know if she has a note indicating hers as the second half of the battle.

Cherubas
Artist
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175 comments
# 6   Posted: Jul 28 2010, 12:14 AM
I'm curious to see how you two play this one. The tone of your two characters seems so different. Good luck though, guys, put out some impressive work because I plan to read both of em.

Wolcik
Artist
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492 comments
# 5   Posted: Jul 27 2010, 01:34 AM
Good luck and what Phill said

BoneyardScribe
Artist
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9 comments
# 4   Posted: Jul 26 2010, 05:16 PM
Carlito Quinones: Good luck to both of you.
Dig your character Sasa. She looks sweet.
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Haha, thanks! Super psyched!

carlito
Artist
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375 comments
# 3   Posted: Jul 26 2010, 11:12 AM
Good luck to both of you.
Dig your character Sasa. She looks sweet.

Phill
Artist
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895 comments
# 2   Posted: Jul 26 2010, 12:13 AM
Welcome to void you two, just remember to do your best, the minimum is a mere 3 pages too! And yes I am going to say this to everybody.

Angie
Council
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1937 comments
# 1   Posted: Jul 25 2010, 09:18 PM
Have fun! :D

Comic Details -

 
Type: Tournament Match
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Aug 8th, 2010
Votes Cast: 44
Page Views: 952
Winner: Shojin

 

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