Jane Blonde vs. Sebastian Rockwell

Jane Blonde vs. Sebastian Rockwell


469 points
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188 points
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Critiques & Comments
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michaelharris
Artist
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352 comments
# 15   Posted: Jun 9 2010, 05:53 AM
Kent: I disagree about the line weights. YOur style is cartoony enough that I think it would detract from the art. My only suggestions are to keep working on anatomy and perspective and to actually finish a comic. Otherwise it was really fun and easy to follow.

aribooboo
Artist
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282 comments
# 14   Posted: Jun 7 2010, 07:14 PM
God I haven't critiqued in forever, let's see if I can still do this...

Kent: I would have loved to see this finished, but what you had was decent. I have to stress again that you need more line variation. Almost everything has the same line width and it's making your work come off as flat. Just add different sizes, like say for example, using tiny thin likes for people's hair and then using thicker lines for their bodies. You were beginning to have it there on page 3, last panel. They'll give the figures more form. Also, you need to back up the "camera" more. We got a lot of head shots or ones that cut off at the waist, and that made things feel a big cluttered. But besides that, I actually really liked your story here. It ran smoothly for the most part and I reached the end with no problem. I love how you're going with something really down-to-earth and I think it's working for you. I'm into this, keep going with it!

Seeker: What's here looks like it has potential so I'm just a little sad we couldn't see it done. I'm excpecting something finished from you soon!

Angie
Council
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1937 comments
# 13   Posted: Jun 6 2010, 08:33 AM
Cool, glad I made sense :D And gradients are fine, you just have to do more with them. My whole color style is just fancy gradients nowadays.

Mister Kent
Artist
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937 comments
# 12   Posted: Jun 6 2010, 05:18 AM
Thanks to you also Krat - Backgrounds are something I'm forever struggling with, and gradients are just an unfortunate crutch (see previous post re: lazy) I think I'm going to put a lot of practice and emphasis on backgrounds next comic so I can work on it.

Mister Kent
Artist
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937 comments
# 11   Posted: Jun 6 2010, 05:15 AM
Oh, I get what you mean about halos - like leave some whitespace around the figure - I'll try that on my next comic. And I still want to work on line variation, I just sort of got lazy on that in this battle. But no more lazy in the future - thanks for the crit! I appreciate it a lot.

Angie
Council
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1937 comments
# 10   Posted: Jun 5 2010, 09:27 AM
Mister Kent-I really enjoyed the story for this a lot, it was nice to really get inside Jane's thoughts and feelings. I think the one thing that really bothered me was the consistency of the coloring. Like I know that you left some things uncolored and that worked, but when characters had large parts of them left uncolored like the older guy on page 4 it feels less like a stylistic choice and comes across more as you running out of time.

I think that if you're not gonna vary linewidths, one way that would help you separate characters from backgrounds is a slight "halo" around them. I tried to find an example of what I meant but pretty much where you leave a clear edge around the character and objects in the background so that they don't blend into it. That would have been helpful on the full body shot on page 5. (if you don't get my explanation I can always draw out an example for you after work)

Seeker-not much I can really say. You had a 4 week drawing time so manage your time better in the future. You could have just done 1 page a week and had a finished comic.

Sid_Bane
Artist
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53 comments
# 9   Posted: Jun 4 2010, 01:26 PM
DAMMIT! Computer just shat itself. REALLY sorry about the double-post.

Sid_Bane
Artist
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53 comments
# 8   Posted: Jun 4 2010, 01:26 PM
Mister Kent- Just to put this on the forefront, but I generally like your style of drawing, although I think there's some elements of it that can be improved upon. There were at some points, where I wished for a bit of line variation and I wished to see a bit more expressiveness in terms of facial expression and body language (which is something that I think would enhance the stylization more). Also, for the most parts the characters seemed like talking heads and the action was very stiff. I think the shooting scene could have definitely used more drama and flare. It was not a very exciting shooting scene and for a moment in which everything is becoming chaotic and people's lives are in danger, then the reader should feel that chaos and endangerment. Also, I'm not a big fan of the gradient backgrounds, although that might just be me. I kind of have a prejudice against gradients nowadays.
I kind of liked the romantic tie between Jane Blonde and Rockwell. Even though it was kind of a cliched element, it still brought something interesting to both of the characters. In the end, I did end up wanting to know more about their past together, so for me that's always a good sign.  

seekeroftwilight- I dunno... it's hard for me to really judge since this is unfinished. I can honestly say, I really don't have any idea what is going on here. It seems as though in the first two pages there seems to be some sort of stylistic experimentation with positive/negative space, but it does not lend itself well to narration (although, I'm not sure if it is really an experimentation or if I'm just interpreting it that way). All in all, I'm just not really sure what to think, except for wishing that there would have been more.

Sid_Bane
Artist
icon
53 comments
# 7   Posted: Jun 4 2010, 01:26 PM
Mister Kent- Just to put this on the forefront, but I generally like your style of drawing, although I think there's some elements of it that can be improved upon. There were at some points, where I wished for a bit of line variation and I wished to see a bit more expressiveness in terms of facial expression and body language (which is something that I think would enhance the stylization more). Also, for the most parts the characters seemed like talking heads and the action was very stiff. I think the shooting scene could have definitely used more drama and flare. It was not a very exciting shooting scene and for a moment in which everything is becoming chaotic and people's lives are in danger, then the reader should feel that chaos and endangerment. Also, I'm not a big fan of the gradient backgrounds, although that might just be me. I kind of have a prejudice against gradients nowadays.
I kind of liked the romantic tie between Jane Blonde and Rockwell. Even though it was kind of a cliched element, it still brought something interesting to both of the characters. In the end, I did end up wanting to know more about their past together, so for me that's always a good sign.  

seekeroftwilight- I dunno... it's hard for me to really judge since this is unfinished. I can honestly say, I really don't have any idea what is going on here. It seems as though in the first two pages there seems to be some sort of stylistic experimentation with positive/negative space, but it does not lend itself well to narration (although, I'm not sure if it is really an experimentation or if I'm just interpreting it that way). All in all, I'm just not really sure what to think, except for wishing that there would have been more.

Mister Kent
Artist
icon
937 comments
# 6   Posted: Jun 3 2010, 11:44 AM
I like the vibe of your linework, seeker - I'd really like to see more
Sebastian was awesome to draw - I hope I did him justice :D

Darius Corry
Artist
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426 comments
# 5   Posted: Jun 2 2010, 12:42 PM
whoa this one snuck right by me.
Let's do it folks!

alberto311
Artist
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349 comments
# 4   Posted: Jun 2 2010, 11:26 AM
It's kind of silent here. Someone make some noise!!!!!!!!!

DrasticFantastic
Artist
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165 comments
# 3   Posted: May 10 2010, 11:34 AM
Jane Blonde is back baby! Awesome.

Angie
Council
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1937 comments
# 2   Posted: May 9 2010, 10:43 PM
good luck :D

Coatl
Artist
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318 comments
# 1   Posted: May 9 2010, 09:30 PM
interesting.

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 4 weeks
Ended: Jun 9th, 2010
Votes Cast: 21
Page Views: 812
Winner: Mister Kent

 

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