Chia-Hui vs. Buer Conclusion / Buer

Chia-Hui vs. Buer Conclusion — Buer

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228 points
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Critiques & Comments
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Angie
Council
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1937 comments
# 7   Posted: Jan 28 2010, 07:13 PM
One thing I've always enjoyed about your work is it reminds me a lot of old crazy 70s cartoons. I would like to see you do work with bolder lines since this delicate linework just doesn't seem to be working for you. One thing to also watch is pacing. You have like 20+ panels per page which makes the page feel overwhelming, give your panels and pages some time to breath so the reader can take in what's going on. Try to take advantage of the fact you're dealing with a character that deals with fear. You could do some really awesome and dreamlike layouts for this guy, for an example of what I mean look at Perca's side of http://entervoid.com/comic.php?id=1516

William_Duel
Community Manager
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885 comments
# 6   Posted: Jan 28 2010, 05:04 PM
I have to admit I'm not exactly sure what aesthetic ideal you're aiming at.  I guess over time you may find it, but I think you should compromise in some areas.  The clarity of storytelling is a bit better here than in, let's say the previous comic, but it's still not full.  The ideas are interesting but not well implemented at times, as is obvious from the other comments.

carlito
Artist
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375 comments
# 5   Posted: Jan 27 2010, 12:10 AM
I'm glad you finished this.
I LOVE the simple form style you have, but it did look like you did it rather quickly and it appeared rushed, maybe it wasn't, but it appeared to be.
If you use this same style, but you refine it, clean it up, finalize it... I think it has LOTS of potential.
Varying the line width too might help a little too, I'm not sure. Maybe play with it.
Think about one thing though, Without color, how does it look? Does it lack something? Is it finished? ... Look at what is missing or would tighten up or make it look more finished BEFORE you color. That might help, who knows. I liked it though.

Base
Artist
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56 comments
# 4   Posted: Jan 25 2010, 10:01 PM
Phaseout, lemme tell ya: Even the pro's use references. There's nothing wrong with it. It's just another tool you can use to produce better art.

I liked it. I echo Kuro's and Micheal's sentiments, however. It needs to be clearer, more understandable, and it needs a better panel layout-- given the subject, I'd advise you to experiment with your panels a bit.

As for your actual art, a few things: Use shadows to help you define form, study some perspective so you can give your figures more form and motion and weight to them. Have your characters interact with whats around them, and study how to show them interacting with each other.

But I found it to be a unique little abstract piece that was fun to read nonetheless. Working on these points could help you become a very good storyteller.

Kuro
Artist
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581 comments
# 3   Posted: Jan 25 2010, 09:24 PM
at the same time though, the way things are drawn are entirely part of the storytelling process. the shape, angle, pacing, & flow all have an effect on the story being told & can dictate how the audience should tend to react. there are different, clearer ways to display what you were trying to show in order to give those events more impact & get the reader more interested in what they're reading. by keeping them small & cropping so much out of the final panel, we feel detached & it can be boring.
and like you seem to understand already: you can be loose, but at the same time, things should be refined or at least presented in a fashion that they translate or come across clearly.

Kuro
Artist
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581 comments
# 2   Posted: Jan 25 2010, 08:04 PM
the format you're working in doesn't really lend itself nicely to action comics. when things happen in your panels, they need room to breathe. bumping up tiny panels back to back with really tight or really zoomed out shots kind of give the feeling that you really want to take the easy way out when drawing this comic, almost lazy in a way as you don't have to do as much work. but the storytelling really suffers because of it. also the lack of backgrounds REALLY detracts from this. While it may be a continuation of what you already had, it'd be nice to give people a little reminder. at the very least, something in the background could have given us a frame of reference in the very beginning. something to work with to help jog our memory. beyond that, i still think you're going about the forms in too much of an expressionistic way. tighten up some more.

michaelharris
Artist
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352 comments
# 1   Posted: Jan 25 2010, 03:05 PM
I kinda wished you had spent more time on this. I know you are going for a style, but it just comes across as laziness. Maybe line width variation would help. It's also very confusing. On page one, is that a hand growing out of his head? What is that furry blue thing? I know its a dream/nightmare/ghost like sequence but it was still a bit hard for me to follow. I would also like to see more from your backgrounds, I think it would look better if they were highly detailed but still kept the same uniform color technique and sketchiness.

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Jan 31st, 2010
Votes Cast: 15
Page Views: 572

 

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