Aria Voidcraft vs. Father Mckenzie

Aria Voidcraft vs. Father Mckenzie


252 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7


by Nachte


335 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8




Critiques & Comments
Please register or log in to comment


Pepper JAQ
Artist
icon
210 comments
# 20   Posted: Nov 24 2009, 02:14 PM
at the top of aria's very first battle is the term 'death match'. she was my first character and fell in the first round of the 2006 speed death tournament. while that battle is down, you can see it's entirety on my da account (nekoslade). all three battles after that were started in the month of the dead.

michaelharris
Artist
icon
352 comments
# 19   Posted: Nov 24 2009, 08:20 AM
I wasn't trying to be insulting, I apologize for that. I still, however, firmly believe that I shouldn't have to read every single chapter of a character to enjoy the latest one. From the information available for me, which in Mckenzie's case was just this comic, his reactions didn't make any sense to me. I also looked back at Aria's last 3 battles and didn't see a death match, it also appeared that this battle started in November, so I thought she was alive. I guess the bottom line, FOR ME, is that I shouldn't have to research your character to enjoy your comic or have it make logical sense within the parameters of a single chapter in your character's life. I am not particularly blaming you, but this seems to be common on void. Again, I didn't mean to be insulting.

Nachte
Artist
icon
110 comments
# 18   Posted: Nov 23 2009, 10:15 PM

I would encourage you to try and sit in your characters shoes and logical think about their reactions.
Quote


Actually, I do sit in my characters shoes since I did actually make the character. Now to be fair the older battles are currently down, and god rest Toast's soul hes working to get them back up and readable. But the fact is, if you could see those battles, McKenzie does a lot of things god tells him to do rather blindly. Hes never had a repercussion, its sort of like placating a child, atleast thats how Mckenzie sees it. Hes also almost always drunk, so theres you impaired judgment. The point of this comic was a set up, to force the character to a breaking point and turn him from a mentor into a hero. As he's been a mentor archetype to OTHER characters since his creation. This shows him that blindly reacting to that the voice in his head is telling him can cause consquences. And like duel said, you don't tell a omniscient omnipotent being in your head no if you know its capable of ruining your life. Of which it's already done before. But the readers don't know that yet. Also aria voidcraft is DEAD this was started in month of the DEAD, like the other DEAD characters shes come back for one month, like she did last month. I used that as a plot device, albiet I admit a weak one. She turns to salt, mckenzie is a messiah, a lack luster and unwilling one, but a messiah. If Jesus could feed 5000 men with a loaf of bread and a fish, I'm pretty sure its kosher to turn a soul into salt.

Yes the story is lack luster, no I haven't tried my hand at writing for this character in a very long time. But by no means do I not know whats going on in his head. The point is, mckenzie's story is told over battles. The battles are down, you would have to have previous knowledge. I'm sorry that this put you at a disadvantage, but I'm not going make it obvious that its god talking in every single comic I ever do for this character.

I get your critque, I get that the story was poor. I'm surprisingly self aware of my mistakes, and I do try and correct them in the future. Bad story is bad yes, but its kind of insulting to be told I don't understand the way my own character reacts to a situation.

Jack
Artist
icon
225 comments
# 17   Posted: Nov 23 2009, 07:36 PM
You seriously need to do more reading before you start writing your essays Michael, you make an ass of yourself when you pull this sort of "I DON'T LIKE READING SO I'M GOING TO ASK STUPID QUESTIONS" nonsense. Also Michael, I know this may come as a complete shocker to you, given your consistent behavior, but some people actually do things they don't want to do. This should explain a great deal of things that happen in the world around you. Think first.

William_Duel
Community Manager
icon
892 comments
# 16   Posted: Nov 23 2009, 04:55 PM
It's God.  If God tells you to run and not look back you do it, or else you turn to salt.  Plus she's already dead.  And what is it that you have against literacy?

michaelharris
Artist
icon
352 comments
# 15   Posted: Nov 23 2009, 04:30 PM
Slade, you didn't finish, so I didn't finish reading.

Nachte, The art is ok, just anatomical and perspective issues but the art is generally enjoyable

The story annoyed me to no end. Their interaction is completely pointless and random. I read nothing in her bio that made me think that she should be intangible, so I didn't really get that but I guess that's cause she's dead... They have a discussion that in no way gives us any insight into either character other than that one dead. Why is she dead? I dunno. Then for no logical reason at all, a disembodied voice tells Mckenzie to kill some girl who, again, randomly walked through his wall. It would have been nice for you to mention that this was the voice of God rather than having to go look for an explanation in the bio. Why does God want her dead? I dunno. Choking her to stone didn't make any sense at all. Besides the fact that she was intangible in the first page, then randomly gets stuck as tangible, then apparently you can choke a ghost and they turn to sand.

All the actions seem incredibly non sequitur. No one reacts in a logical manner. If McKenzie doesn't like God, which is what I got from his bio, why does he follow his instructions? If he was going to be so upset by killing her why would he kill her? If God is telling someone to kill you, would you sit their in a chair and let them choke with absolutely no resistance? Especially when you can turn intangible? I would encourage you to try and sit in your characters shoes and logical think about their reactions.

Nachte
Artist
icon
110 comments
# 14   Posted: Nov 23 2009, 12:27 AM
Jack Hates You: To make it essentially clear, your heads look like faces with wigs slapped on them, and no head in between. Compare http://www.learning-to-see.co.uk/images/head-proportions-half.jpg to what you're doing, remember, as long above the eyes as below, THEN add hair.
Quote


Thank ya Jack.

Pepper JAQ
Artist
icon
210 comments
# 13   Posted: Nov 22 2009, 10:34 PM
Wow. Kind expected to get ripped harder then this XD

Thanks for the battle, Nachte, your side was awesome. Your inking is seriously good, especially the stippling, crosshatching, and other 'shading' sort of techniques, still trying to get the hang of that myself (as you can see on my page 1), and those two color pages at the start were freaking awesome. The only real nitpcik is the broken pipes, didn't see that till the second read. Maybe an extra panel or a slightly different angle on the current one?

As for my comic... Had a good plan going between the two battles, but ironically the extension threw that off a bit. Of course just as I get on the ball again, my friend finally starts the work on a script for the comic that he was me to draw for him (as such, I'm actually very thankful for that extension, Nachte). If all goes well, it'll be published through lulu around February (yes Galvo, I told him about Pulpo, but he doesn't want the octopus on the cover ^_^; )

Anyhoo. Yes, I'm finishing this along with the next battle together. Page two is totally missing in actuality and I had to rewrite the script in a pinch to fit everything in while avoiding confusion... Failed on that obviously. Though the good side to all this is I realize now that I have to redo pages 2-4 (or rather the missing '2' and the posted 2 and 3). That is way too much of a cluster fuck of text for my tastes and I could easily separate some of what is going on with page 3.

So yes, a quick rest and the back to the drawing board. got Tuesday and Wednesday off. Going to use them mightly. Should any of you see me online (aim, skype. forums) tell me to get the fuck off and that I should be drawing XD

If "tl:dr", then:
nachte, you are awesome
guys, thanks for the crits
bb coming right up!
boot me if you see me again before saturday.

Jack
Artist
icon
225 comments
# 12   Posted: Nov 22 2009, 10:21 PM
To make it essentially clear, your heads look like faces with wigs slapped on them, and no head in between. Compare http://www.learning-to-see.co.uk/images/head-proportions-half.jpg to what you're doing, remember, as long above the eyes as below, THEN add hair.

Nachte
Artist
icon
110 comments
# 11   Posted: Nov 22 2009, 09:51 PM
Oh, hurr. Yeah its totally out of perspective. I'm pretty aware of a lot of the technical flaws. Its just something about drawing in trads vs. digital..

William_Duel
Community Manager
icon
892 comments
# 10   Posted: Nov 22 2009, 09:48 PM
Er sorry I dont mean the chair, I meant the countertop.  Behind him.

Nachte
Artist
icon
110 comments
# 9   Posted: Nov 22 2009, 09:35 PM
@ Jack
Yeah this whole battle was a bumpy ride, and even I was questioning the set up near the end. I think the biggest problem was my inability to pick a method (mainly I was to nervous to continue the first two page quality for fear of being unable to complete it) coupled with the fact that I picked the worse season schooling wise to do this. I just lost steam half way through. And it is inexperience that creates the shitty little flaws like perspective and anatomy. Truth is I've been drawing much much more digitally and neglecting my trads. It shows. On the comment on the heads, I need to catch you later and talk because I think I see what you're talking about but I think its one of those things you don't see effectively until someone slaps a huge red line over it going 'here dumbass this is whats wrong', haha. Overall I realized half way I wasn't going to be able to contribute my all to it, which is upsetting. Hopefully I can supply better quality next time, I feel bad about a lackluster story more so than any artistic flaws.

@duel
Page 7 is a chair, not a table..but I don't think the top of the chair draws the eye enough I suppose to make that obvious.

William_Duel
Community Manager
icon
892 comments
# 8   Posted: Nov 22 2009, 07:30 PM
Slade I thought the level of detail on your first page was great but what came after was terribly terribly jarring and ruined the story.  I would say that second page was pretty important because I couldn't follow what was going on after that.  And then when the comic was complete again,' oh hey Danielle's in this story?' was my first reaction.  But I feel like you put some good effort here when you did, so I think you should finish this entry up at some point and maybe re-post it as a BB.  Other people might say it's a pointless gesture but it's what I would do in this situation (the same situation I am in and will follow through on when I'm not ready to stick a knife in my forehead).  

I rather enjoyed your entry Nachte.  And again, the detail here was pleasant to the eye.  While I may not be one to talk, I have to say I'm not a fan of the way the hair is done up on the color pages.  I found page 7 a little wierd, perspective wise, I wonder if it was done for effect or something but Mackenzie seems rather small in that kitchen and I think it a little odd that we can see the table top so well from that angle.  And I agree with Jack about the heads, if not only for the fact that if we look at the thumbnails above, page 7, Mackenzie has a good size forehead there but in other panels, it's lacking.  But really, I'm a fan and I hope to see the impact of what's happened here in future stories.

Jack
Artist
icon
225 comments
# 7   Posted: Nov 22 2009, 07:01 PM
Slade. there was some nice inking technique where inking happened, but the figures were extremely weak, and the B/W balance was non-existent. The biggest problem though was legibility, namely the total lack thereof. I have no idea what happened in your comic, work on your storytelling, make more comics.

Nachte, nice return. A little boring, and the writing/storytelling was pretty choppy. The colours have some technical grace to them in the application, but the lack of contrast makes them a little flat and boring. If you're going to go with more painterly colours, don't be afraid of working with heavier contrast in light and dark, it'll make things more dynamic and way more interesting. The inking techniques used here were pretty beastly, well done on that. The sand was especially impressive, but for the love of God, stop fucking up the tops of every figure's head. I mean, there's other minor anatomical issues scattered throughout that seem to come from lack of experience, but every single head lacks a back and top. Fucking stop it. Terrible habit aside, this was an extremely impressive comeback artwise, but a pretty boring comeback. Well done just the same.

Monday
Artist
icon
919 comments
# 6   Posted: Oct 25 2009, 07:40 PM
Bout fucking time.

Angie
Council
icon
1937 comments
# 5   Posted: Oct 25 2009, 02:52 PM
Good luck you two!

Nachte
Artist
icon
110 comments
# 4   Posted: Oct 25 2009, 12:52 PM
The goal is full color. Just for you zsabre <3

Aluísio C. Santos
Artist
icon
735 comments
# 3   Posted: Oct 25 2009, 05:48 AM
This battle is up in my birthday, you guys better make it pretty!

Phill
Artist
icon
895 comments
# 2   Posted: Oct 25 2009, 02:48 AM
You'd seriously better have something for this Slade! Good luck you two.

William_Duel
Community Manager
icon
892 comments
# 1   Posted: Oct 24 2009, 11:07 PM
Ho shit.  I hope to see this soon.  This, I definitely want to read.

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 3 weeks
Ended: Nov 29th, 2009
Votes Cast: 17
Page Views: 949
Winner: Nachte

 

Add to Playlist -


Latest Topics -

 
Stan Lee Tribute Art Jam 
Last updated: Shen - Nov 12, 2018, 11:28 PM
VOID SHIPPING JAM [18+] 
Last updated: Shen - Nov 12, 2018, 09:14 PM
Blacklight Jam 
Last updated: JayKat - Nov 12, 2018, 08:39 PM
Challenges Thread 
Last updated: Dechado - Nov 12, 2018, 06:38 PM
All News, All The Time 
Last updated: Staff Bot - Nov 12, 2018, 11:25 AM
 

Latest Members -


Users online -

 
64 Guests, 2 Users



Most Online Today: 90.
Most Online Ever: 1,050 (Aug 30, 2015, 03:43 AM)

 

Original site Copyright 2002-2017 Kevin Birtcher All characters and content Copyright 2002-2017 their respective owners Theme by SMFTricks - Modified by Brittney Scott & Jordan Bobo