Reading the Price parts with his voice in your mind makes them a lot funnier/creepier.

Neo:

I liked how you used the fonts to reinforce that bowie was Baleal manipulating Nova. In general that was a great idea using
Baleal like that. Art was consistently solid throughout, and I think you were able to wrap it up pretty well although the ending was a bit abrupt. The whole key/mech
 scenario wasn't too far-fetched for me considering that kind of thing happened in round 1 where Baleal summoned the demon
 using the weird tribal key. Also, it took a couple reads to notice, but that's hilarious how Kotori and Oinko go flying when the mech stomps down! Action was all readable and flowed pretty nicely except the aforementioned parts where things blended together.
Last panel of page. 9 was really muddled for that reason. In general the art seemed a bit crowded. I appreciate all the detail, but there
was too much happening in some panels, a lot of the really small ones here that would have made much better mid-large size panels.
your 1st round had some more breathing room and was more balanced with negative space and black fills, etc. Just watch out for the crampedness in the future and try to set the characters against the BG in a way that the shapes don't conflict so much. Definitely impressed with your improvement in this tourney from the
last comic I read from you.

Fowlie:

WOW, that Oinko killing was aaaaaawesome I really enjoyed it! and the blood dripping on Kotori waking her up, great.
Also the way you did her power was real cool. The colors were great, they helped add interest to the characters and transition to
 various scenes/enhance mood. Pg. 14 the first 2 panels coulda used a bit more contrast in the coloring I think, it was tough for me to tell that it was Nova's corpse hitting the boat. The thing I liked most is that the characters acted realistic; Kotori just bails, Nova is descending to madness and dies because of it, Danielle is meanwhile just trying to GTFO on the other side of the island. In the Danielle part,
something like the demon monster in the distance from Neo's comic woulda been a nice tip of the hat to Danielle's situation, but eh, whatever didn't really affect the entertainment of your comic here. I think it's funny that Vincent Price is charon, and I don't think the chat joke is needed to get it. The transition from drowning to the underworld was really well done also. Even if you weren't into this, you managed to isolate elements that you did like and I was genuinely interested throughout. I look forward to what happens when Nova dies and goes through hell.

Neo: I'm going to start of with saying that I was impressed with the character consistency that you showed here art-wise. The lines were good, but everything blended too much, so I think that working on line weight will really help your work further. Now, I will agree to a degree that the story here is kind of off-putting to me a bit. BUT, I think the main reason for this is that you tried to cram in too much into too short of a time, which left things feeling a bit of a cop-off. Danielle is a super genius, so her figuring out the language I can go with just by powers alone. Even piloting the mech. Hell, I watched Dexter's Lab in the past, it can be amusingly done when done well. However it has to be backed up with solid writing to really work well. Writing a short story is far more complex than people think, and often much harder than doing a longer work, simply because you have a limited time to get things done. Try to do too much and you sacrifice something along the way. I think that's what happened here. You put a bit too much in for a short story and that made people feel it was too rushed and a bit anti-climatic. Other than that, I thought it was cute. (Even the little Koko bit there. Haha.)

fowlie: It was funny... Koko came out looking a tad odd, but so freaking funny I was laughing the whole damn time. "Sigh... I'm bored" I obviously have to work on that... she's done that one too many times, huh? The art was quick and pretty sketchy for you, but like you said... you were just doing it for laughs. I WAS a bit sad Danielle had to be slipped in there the way you did just to meet the requirement, but you were right that it didn't really fit with the storyline you had set up from the first and where you wanted to go with it. Still, obviously not your best work. Funny, though, and made me laugh. Vincent Price was kind of a 'you get it if you were in the chat' thing, so it didn't really translate well to people who weren't there. But, like you said, you weren't really drawing it for the general public at this point. (I'll also mention that you did a great job with Koko's powers when she was walking away across the ocean. Spot on.)

I thought both of these were good. I don't have much to add in a way of critique. Most everyone else covered all the main points.  Neo I do think you really either need to spot more blacks or work on your line weights or add grey tones...some pages I just couldn't make out what was going on at all.

Fowlie...Bowie was classic...and I kinda wish you used Old Vincent Price....that's way more creepy than the young one (and why not Vincent Twice from the muppets...hehe...)

I thought you both did a really good job. Plently to laugh at in both. I liked Danielle not knowing Bowie and Nova encountering Vincent Price. :3

OK, maybe I am a bit rant happy lately and I'm being a bit unfair here (I have a lot of pent up stress lately), but my argument should at least be taken into consideration despite me foaming at the mouth. Now, I'm not trying to say "You should never have the good guys win", but I believe that whatever opposes the good guy should at least pose a threat to the protagonist. I am not seeing that here, Butcher was a better threat in the last comic as he did give Danielle a hard time and I should of at least taken him into account for the story. However with the threat of Nova, Belial, and that Demon, things get resolved a bit too quickly.

Also, having a super intellect does make the code deciphering understandable as she is a super genius, but there wasn't any hint towards the code or the robot the beginning of either comics, and quite frankly... it comes off as a Deus Ex to me. I can understand if time management plays a big factor into this, but the story isn't very well thought out in my eyes.

I will take back what I said about Danielle being a bad character as I can be amazingly biased without knowing it, after all, that was coming from a guy who made Redblood Phill.

Neo, I liked that you had a genuine good guy story. I just wish you wouldn't have fucking rushed it, let alone left it unfinished. The art/storytelling/writing suffered greatly from part 1, but I still want to see how Danielle wins. Unlike some others I don't think having it be obvious from the get go that the good guys are going to win is a bad thing, nor do I think having a super genius being a super genius is a poorly planned addition of powers. In short, ignore Phill, but seriously improve your time management. I was looking forward to a conclusion on this, and in that regard I'm disappointed, but good effort! You've shown some huge improvement in the last few years.

Fowlie, I was worried this thing would come across as unfinished, but for a comic you'd rushed on it wrapped up in a nice neat package. Leaving Danielle off till the end was brilliant, and realistically that ending wouldn't have worked with anyone BUT Danielle. The art looked good but rushed, but the colouring was really neat. I wish the first page was longer, like had more anonymous one shots. Maybe showing David Bowie's face to tie it in to the first half better, but the effect there was far better than on the first one. Rather than being slightly awkward but a good effort it was genuinely Kubrick level chilling. Good work. You straddled the line between goofy and disturbing perfectly, and the combination of the passing down of psychosis and comedy at the end was the perfect punctuation. You consistently do a good job of adding the perfect amount of humor and horror to make a solid dark comedy, and I seriously envy that ability.

hahahaha! Someone used "banal" in a conversation! I do that as much as possible.

Neo,
 I really reall liked your first page. When did you get awesome? I think you need to work on separating foreground, middle ground, and back ground. I would suggest experimenting with tones, or maybe thickening the outer lines of figures. Right now, the black and white lines have the same amount of "wieght" on the page making nothing stand out and everything feel like it is on the same plane.

I think your story was a little too complicated for how short it was. There was a lot going on, and I feel like it needed to be stretched out to accommodate all the information. I really do like Danielle's character, she is a classic case of a person who was granted a lot of power at a very young age, very much like a young king or princess, they usually become bossy, petulant, and bitchy. It makes sense that she would be unlikable. I did like how she learned everything really fast. Fantastic and ridiculous happenings are a theme throughout the story, so I just went with it.

Fowlie,
I really loved the colors. Was Danielle supposed to be in this? Or was it an afterthought? I don't are either way just curious. I was a little confused when Danielle went from regular colors to crazy colors on the next page and I couldn't tell who it was at first. The backgrounds did seem a little lazy at parts, but you strike me more as a person who already knows all this and doesn't particularly care. I did enjoy Vincent Price and the Bowie. I am not a big fan of the crazy, psycho melodrama but I think this was handled well and kept my interest throughout.

OK, i think I need to address some things

Neo: that was fucking FUNNY, I was grinning through the whole thing.  I'm bummed out there was no conclusion, but I'm sure you just ran short on time.  Danielle not knowing who Bowie was was priceless, since I ran into that on the last round. I'M STILL DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, ARIBOOBOO.  Good job.

Arachnoboy:  Get the stick out of your ass and calm down. I wasn't into MoD, the theme or the characters involved, and it shows.  I wrote these stories and drew/colored them in such a manner to entertain myself.  I'm sorry if you didn't like my ending, but I did put some thought into what to do with Dan. I didn't think there needed to be a big "OH HEY, I FOUND SOMEONE I KNOW AND LIVE WITH" moment, that would have complicated my story and took it in a direction that I didn't want to go.  I've been busy, life is shitty and I have bigger projects waiting for me, I'm sorry if you didn't like what I did here, but you wen't bitching when I only had Kotory in the BG of the first round, and killed S. Girl off in the first 5 pages.  So shit vote me if you want, but it won't make me go back and redraw this comic where Dan and Nova pal around the whole time.

Will: aww, thanks <3  You know, I showed the inks of that nipple page to my friend and he visibly cringed.  I'm so glad it's impact didn't go down after adding fun colors. I'm glad you liked these comics, I managed to have a lot of fun doing them.

Phill: I think you need to relax.  Part of what makes Danielle a charming character is that you love to hate this stuck up little kid.  She's a genius that really doesn't know any better when it comes to how she treats people and carries herself.  I'm sure we've all known people like that.

I know my backgrounds sucked, the foregrounds suckled too.  The line art is scratchy and inked in a rush, maybe you just didn't notice because I smothered everything in retarded colors.  I'll make sure to put more thought into the BG's on future stuff, I agree that I have been slacking on them in my last few battles.

Eh, Price being there started as a chat joke, but in the end, I crammed him in because I like Vincent Price and wanted to draw him in a comic. Same reason David Bowie was there. Also Nova has a thing for older, FABULOUS men.

You should try drawing him, it's so easy I couldn't believe it. The man had a great face.

Vincent Price was there for the same reason David Bowie was there.

I had similar thoughts.  Maybe later I can articulate them better.  But I'll just point out what jumps out at me.  I really like Fowlie's comic.  I really do believe it's her best so far.  There's a lot of substance behind her writing.  But I hate you right now Fowlie.  I didn't care much for your nipples during the first round.  That's right I said it.  But now...geez, now my nipples hurt.  And the whole bit with Vincent Price as Charon on the River Styx was awesome.  I like how it ended.  Well played.

Danielle's story needs a little polish here.  I feel like the problem here is that it was rushed.  It had structure in terms of storytelling but I feel like there's not enough characterization to give us time to let it sink in.  I dunno, I need to think about it more before I can say anything more helpful.  Sorry.

OK, had to read this over twice, but I think I've figured out a few things that I like and dislike about both comics.


Neo: Not bad, you keep your art consistent, and it's not too difficult to make things out. However, the story this time... OK, Danielle is a super genius, gotcha, part of her character and what makes her what she is. But I find it awfully strange that she is able to decipher a language within seconds without any hints to the viewer as to how she did it aside from her writing in the dirt, and finds CONVENIENT-O the giant robot, and can pilot it without troubles. I understand the idea of wanting your character to come out on top during a difficult ordeal, but you're just pulling Deus Ex's out of nowhere here. My last real character battle is a perfect example of just pulling out a new power out of nowhere without even hinting at it anywhere. I mean seriously... super speed and outruns Draxx? *facepalm* what was I thinking there? Here's what I was thinking: I gotta have Redblood Phill come out on top and give that meanie a taste of his own medicine!

No.... no no no. That's stupid and lazy writing on my part and establishes that I know nothing of character development aside from Redblood being "NUMBAH ONE!" and I'm only seeing this now in my writing and in yours with Danielle. She always comes out on top without a real struggle. A perfect example of this is on page 8, when she just crams a demonic deity into it's hole. I won't argue that the build-up was towards Belial's defeat, but with all the tension and build-up I was assuming it'd be a difficult to stop this threat to her, and it ended up being "A giant robot stuffs it back into it's hole... yep, it was that easy, oh and Nova falls to his death".

I'm not trying to be biased here, but I just don't like Danielle. She has no likable qualities to her, her personality is just "I know everything and I can come out on top no matter what", and she has no flaws whatsoever. I hate to be hanging your opponents character Nova over your head when I say this, but he is one of the best developed characters on this site so far. He's got qualities that make him real and believable, he's got a lot of faults, and he's got a personality that you can like and condone at the same time (Example of this is the relationship with Dr. Fabulous while coming to terms with his own sexuality, and the battle with Aya where he takes advantage of her trust and proves he can be a real scumbag). Keep in mind I'm not trying to tear you down or start drama. In fact, I'm in the same boat as you with Redblood Phill, but I seriously hope you see what I'm getting at here.



Fowlie: OK, I know I was just salivating over Nova here, but I've saved some bile for you too. Now, the art was good, but honestly your backgrounds aren't improving much, page 4 pops out the most to me as it looks like Kotori is just standing in front of wallpaper there. We're looking at Kotori who is right in front of us, so why is the horizon way up above her head? It just looks way too unnatural and flat for me to be honest. Always figure out where the horizon is in every panel, sure it's tedious and time consuming, but it's always worth it in the end. Now, I really liked how you handled Kotori walking away from Nova into the fog and how Nova is further diving into madness. I just don't understand why Vincent Price was in this comic. Maybe I'm missing out on a joke from the DA chat or something, it's still very entertaining, I just didn't get the point really and we all know that I'm pretty thick anyway.

Those last 2 pages I'm not fond of and I really wish you spent more time on them granted it was a rush to put in Danielle.



Overall this round wasn't bad, Neo, I don't mean to cause any drama (really, I don't), but you need to give Danielle some human personality. Fowlie, I gave you my vote, but your backgrounds need work ASAP. I hope to see more from you two soon.

I wanna join GP too!!!!

joy!

don't let this divide us ,GPI
lol

Uploaded... pretty sure it worked.

Draw faster.

Hey, I didn't say anything yet......SHAZAM!

WHAM BAM THANK YOU MA'AM

D'AWWWW

GP re-united how precious

good luck you two!

Maroon 5555555

David Bowie, a Serial Rapist and a little Smart Aleck.  It's the sequel to Labyrinth.

i see wat u did thar

I CARE

SEXY