Jane Blonde vs. General Misconduct

Jane Blonde vs. General Misconduct

534 points
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556 points
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Critiques & Comments
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# 13   Posted: Aug 15 2009, 11:25 PM
I'm sorry, when I do comics for myself I tend to make comics I would like, and my tastes are very far from what other people enjoy.

# 12   Posted: Aug 15 2009, 11:13 PM

# 11   Posted: Aug 15 2009, 08:10 PM
Yeah but in this case one of those unnecessary things you've removed was the entertainment. It's essentially the comic version of a virgin daquiri. Tastes sweet, but it's overpriced and lacks a purpose.

# 10   Posted: Aug 15 2009, 12:42 PM
ahahahaha! I just saw Dance Commander! Givin' out the orders for fun...

# 9   Posted: Aug 15 2009, 12:41 PM
Thanks for the advice everyone! I will probably punch up the contrast as well as use thicker lines.

 I drew the guns several times but didn't like it so I needed a quick fix.

If a comic can be understood without text, it doesn't need it. Going with a minimalist style omitting words seemed appropriate. It wasn't about being a "silent comic" it was about distilling a story and cutting out the unnecessary parts.

I gave her a less flamboyant costume because it seems like she wouldn't want to draw attention to herself when committing felonies(sorry the realist in me took over).

Thanks for challenging Kent! I really like how you wrote her and how you drew her.

# 8   Posted: Aug 14 2009, 05:07 PM
Kent: Def. seeing some improvement, but I hate those gradients alot. I guess they kinda work showing light sources...but theres none on the characters and only the backgrounds sometimes.. just think with your style the soft shading doesn't look as good as the cell. I kinda get what your doing, creating the sensation of light, how things are darker at the top of the frame than fade to light. It's a good trick to add depth to a piece, but maybe you could achieve it another way, look at some of your favs, see what they do to achieve light effects. Overall, would like to see some more work with darker/duller values, everything is really bright and intense. Gen. M. looked killer on pg. 1.

Mike: This style is fucking cool, I really like it but agree with Jack it needs some more contrast. Maybe some foreground elements could be dark, or 1 object a panel to add more visual interest. But the photo'd   guns..eh, the ones you drew looked better imo. If your gonna use the photos live trace them shits or something. Some objects need just a little more detail to help them read like that dumpster, but the minimal details of the style look nice overall. Your characterizations of the ladies were pretty badass.

# 7   Posted: Aug 11 2009, 07:30 PM
Kent, the designs were neat, there were either too many colours or not enough, and the story was a little clunky and confusing. Not a bad comic, but not a great comic. I think you can do better but I think you've done a decent job with this at least. Keep it up, you're capable of a lot.

Harris, contrast. You might not need black, but you need contrast. The copy/paste guns would have looked great if they were consistent throughout, but mixing drawn guns and pasted guns is just bad. And Pong is right, this wasn't a silent comic, If anything, it's an unfinished comic because of the silence.  The drawing was really good and I do like what you do with textures and would be beyond cool with the clipart gun thing if you were just consistent with it.

Mister Kent
# 6   Posted: Aug 9 2009, 01:46 AM
Awesome comic Michael :)

And thanks for the critiques everyone - I'll work on everything

# 5   Posted: Aug 9 2009, 01:31 AM
Both comics were OK actually, but I think there's lots of room for improvement.

Kent: Not bad, but before I say anything, look at this:   http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y119/phillipc/perspectivehelpagain.jpg

After looking at that, check out this topic in the forums:   http://entervoid.com/board/index.php?topic=10652.0

Perspective, it's your buddy, your pal, your chum, and it loves you if you know how to use it. Aside from that (and some typos here and there) I thought this was a good effort on your part, but don't make it a habit to not finish the comics you start on.

Michael: Pretty good dude, I don't think the whole washed out look was a problem really, I did think that the loader wasn't working properly at first, but the whole look actually works. However... this whole comic just looks way too simple really, mainly the backgrounds, I would of loved to see how you mixed in a bit more details with this style you've got going on here. Also, I agree about the guns, but they reek of laziness, with such a simple style going on, you couldn't just put two grey rectangles together to make it look like a gun? The cut outs just look flat in the end and stick out like a sore thumb.

As for the story, it did sorta take 2 reads just to understand what was going on, but it was rather simple and that's fine with me. Just not very impressed honestly.

Vote goes to Michael

# 4   Posted: Aug 8 2009, 07:03 PM
MK: Good go...I enjoyed this comic a lot the dialogue was funny and easy to follow the color choices were good but like Pong said in some places were flat. However I think this style shows much potential and can be refined.  There are lots of professional artists who dont use line variation (check C.P. Smith, Niko Henrichon) but what they do usually do to make up for the lack of line variation is flood the drawings with crazy detail. Which this is starting to have. Keep it up.  I would say this would have been better finished but I will just patiently wait for the sequel in your next battle.  Keep up the good work.

Mike: Way to kick ass man...I think this might be one of the best comics I've seen from you in a long time. The action was easy to follow for the most part although I think General Misconduct's costume should have been a bit less traditional. Her character seems more flamboyant than a coat and some cargo pants. and the limited palette made some panels hard to read...although I eventually figured them out you have to consider the plethora of readers you will have and not taking them out of the flow of the action...considering this comic is all action based. coloristically Iwould have not used all low chroma tones..one punchy, high chroma or dark valued tone would have made this easier to read. eg. give jane blonde canary yellow hair.....good action over all...you got my vote for quality and creativity

# 3   Posted: Aug 8 2009, 03:25 PM
MK:  Pretty ok I guess, though it would have been better finished (obviously).   I think your art would be a lot more interesting if you utilized more variation of line widths and thought our some better black placement.  The coloring was a little flat and lack luster in most panels too.  But it was readable and the panel layouts and shots were ok.

Harris:  I'm not sure what the deal is with this.  I'm going to assume it's unfinished - because if it IS finished this comic has serious problems.  
When the first page loaded I thought void's viewer didn't load it completely.  Since the viewer fades in from white - and your pages are just too washed out.  Black - black is good.  Some panel borders would have been good too, you wouldn't have to use them on all panels, but on a few it would have helped.  The clip art handguns - no, doesn't work.  Maybe if you'd put in other photo realistic elements, but you didn't - they just don't work.

If your intent was a silent comic, then you should have built up a story around the criteria that it had to be a story which would be told silently, instead of taking a story and then just removing all dialogue and sound from it.

# 2   Posted: Jul 27 2009, 11:35 PM
Show us something awesome!

# 1   Posted: Jul 23 2009, 07:07 PM
This should be fun!!

Comic Details -

Drawing Time: 3 weeks
Ended: Aug 15th, 2009
Votes Cast: 28
Page Views: 919
Winner: michaelharris


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