Kalaw the Exile vs. Draxx

Kalaw the Exile vs. Draxx


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Critiques & Comments
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Wolcik
Artist
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492 comments
# 27   Posted: Mar 18 2009, 04:38 PM
I don't have much to comment, but I have to admit that I super excited about W building :)

Coldstream
Artist
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159 comments
# 26   Posted: Mar 18 2009, 10:14 AM
You don't understand... I HAVE A SICKNESS!!! Cityscapes are one thing, but when I draw planets, I become obsessed!! I would spend 2 or 3 days on it and nothing else. I NEED HELP!!

JoshuaEliGilley
Artist
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461 comments
# 25   Posted: Mar 17 2009, 04:01 PM
Hey Cold, good shit!

My fav was the last page except for the last panel with the radial gradient, that page layout was really interesting and awesome to me. Cool overhead shot of the garage. I didn't like the collaged-in earth either.  If you're going to do that, hit it with some posterize(levels/curves/threshold/anything) in photoshop or whatever, there are ways to make photos look more like illustrations, so it doesn't stand out so much. Probably the best thing would be to draw it, but at least some adjustments would help. Epic cityscapes here, great draftsmanship on those, on page 4 bottom panel, it would've been nice to see some of the city peek through the smoke, because it almost looks like they're standing in front of clouds.
Overall I think you're shots/layouts/compositions are really strong.  The soft shading was a little out of place at times, I liked how you shaded the last page most.  you can keep a little softness, but too much doesn't seem to mesh with the art, just play round with it.
One last thing, it's cool you want draxx to have an "extreme" font, but the one you chose is kind of hard to read, perhaps consider an alternative.

Kuro
Artist
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581 comments
# 24   Posted: Mar 16 2009, 07:59 AM
the fatal flaw of splitting two parters. ESPECIALLY if each side doesn't tell it's own complete story. and may i say it's never what 'you're left with', it's what you do with your side, period. on the run, then they crash. even after the crash, it was pretty much just standing around. storywise, there's not much going on here. text wise, i thought it was odd your character had the scratchy text & the more bestial of the characters talked normally. i'm sure this was an intended decision on both of your parts but it just looked odd.

beyond the stylized & generic anatomy others have mentioned; while the city shots were pretty nice, other panels really could have used some backgrounds, instead of gradient effects & photoshopped satellite pictures (draw the earth. it's not hard!) seriously though. you draw a nice city & then it's as if you think you get a free pass not to include a background for the rest of the page. you should really continue to use the backgrounds to help plant the characters firmly in that environment.

Coldstream
Artist
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159 comments
# 23   Posted: Mar 16 2009, 07:27 AM
Yeah... On the third page I was going for high contrast to show the illumination from the instrument panel, but I thought it was too harsh so I put a gaussian blur on it. Maybe too much. I was frustrated with my end of the story anyway. I agreed to do a joint story with bicentennial man,and wasn't left with much. Thankfully I recapped his part on the first page. Lessons learned!!

Angie
Council
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1937 comments
# 22   Posted: Mar 15 2009, 10:21 PM
Coldstream-I won't comment too much on the story since the first part is missing, even though it was missing I still got the gist of what was going on. I just felt that the ending was a little abrupt which could have to do with a chunk of the story not there. Artistically the only thing that really bothered me was the jumping around in style of coloring and the clouds. Like you have some cel shading which goes very well with your style, and then on the third page the shading is really soft. Try to stay away from gradients when you color your backgrounds, they rarely work well and it's best to just leave it as a flat color. Other than that, artistically this was pretty solid.

jhalton
Artist
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42 comments
# 21   Posted: Mar 14 2009, 10:32 PM
coldstream - your backgrounds are awesome, first off. I like your drawing style, I think you could benefit from adding some contrast in line weights though. What it looks like you need to work on is the flow of storytelling. You're good w/ establishing shots but I don't get much of a sense of movement or flow by reading the pages. It's what happens in the readers mind between the panels that's important. Ur using big panels, and not many of them, maybe if you try making more panels it will give it more of a feeling like watching a movie. Also, some of the angles of characters could be more interesting, it seems like there's a lot of front or side shots. I can see you're trying to push some angles though, but maybe just practicing figure drawing and anatomy (and shapes) will help with that.

On a related but still very important note, the text you use for narration and that horned guy's voice is a little tight, try opening up the leading (space between lines), like u did w/ the main characters font. It makes it a lot more easy to read when the text has room to breathe. ;)

Mister Kent
Artist
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937 comments
# 20   Posted: Mar 13 2009, 01:06 AM
Coldstream - I enjoyed the urban chaos you were illustrating there. You're improving, so keep it up!

Coldstream
Artist
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159 comments
# 19   Posted: Mar 12 2009, 05:15 AM
Phill- the first part of the story was supposed to be told by Bicentenniel Man. I meant to add some more people and a couple cars in the mix, but forgot in the rush to finish!!

Phill
Artist
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895 comments
# 18   Posted: Mar 11 2009, 09:31 PM
Bicen, make up for this in your next battle.



Coldstream: Not bad mang, I do like the fact that you've fixed up that one anatomy problem with your character's head. But I'm starting to see anatomy quirks here and there when I take a closer look as to what's going on. The wrist on page one is the biggest thing to watch out for, no way it'd be that thick unless Draxx was injured. Also, your figures are still stiff, I have problems with stiff anatomy myself, but I've learned that it's never a sin to bend or stretch out figures just as long as the proportions are correct. The backgrounds however (not counting page 2's pasted on earth there... *grrr*) are actually pretty well drawn but me being nit-picky would like to see a more populated and less desolated part of void city (I kinda think it's a bit overdone by everybody including myself...).

The story was a bit meh however, but it's not as cheesy as the last battle which is a good thing. I really think that if you showed Draxx going up into space and meeting those space pirates it would of made things a lot more interesting to look at visually. I do however appreciate the fact that you're wanting the viewer to fill in the blank supposedly by doing that and getting to what you believe is the more important plot point of the story, but from what I've learned here is that usually it's not a wise choice to let the viewer fill in the blank for scenes involving conflict.

Still though, I think this is a nice level up, just focus on loosening up your figures.

bicentennial man
Artist
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55 comments
# 17   Posted: Mar 11 2009, 02:49 PM
havent been on the site for a while ran into ALOT of problems toward the end of the 4 weeks im sorry Draxx especially since i sent the challenge no excuses... only redemption

michaelharris
Artist
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352 comments
# 16   Posted: Mar 11 2009, 02:03 PM
I really like the completeness of your work, and that you actually use perspective drawing, that seems to be the biggest problem I see. I would just suggest you keep getting better at perspective and anatomy. THe ships looked kind of 80s and a tad generic to me, I would look at more space ship reference.

Fox24
Artist
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215 comments
# 15   Posted: Mar 11 2009, 01:18 PM
That sucks, :(

Coldstream
Artist
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159 comments
# 14   Posted: Mar 11 2009, 10:30 AM
Thanks David... I love/hate drawing cityscapes. Its like crack!!

amazingdavid
Artist
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441 comments
# 13   Posted: Mar 11 2009, 10:27 AM
Coldstream very nice entry clever style lots and lots of camera switches which makes an otherwise talking heads story very interesting.  Something you can do that I fucking suck at...Draw cities...Pg4 Pn1 AWESOME...I have yet to master the use of the ruler its function eludes me....alas...your inks are so crisp...I drink far too much to ever have lines that nice...

Now Im gonna nitpick

Your anatomy is inconsistent at times.  On the cover Draxx's left wrist/hand is a bit fat for the perspective, but then on Pg3 Pn1 the handi n the foreground is fantastic...Id just strive for stronger consistency throughout. You draw faces quite well...from profile and frontal...your 3/4 views are spot on as well but most of the other angles, birds eye, worms eye, etc. the heads get a bit wonky...I don't think the greytones detract from the story at all...they are actually quite nice...perhaps in the future you could do a monochrome palette...same amount of time a little more excitement...


overall I liked this the story was engaging and entertaining and the art was ace. keep up the goodness

Coldstream
Artist
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159 comments
# 12   Posted: Mar 11 2009, 10:23 AM
Wow this is disappointing!!

Darius Corry
Artist
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426 comments
# 11   Posted: Mar 11 2009, 08:37 AM
I was aware just anxious
....but thanks alot Jared.

Kuro
Artist
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581 comments
# 10   Posted: Mar 11 2009, 08:19 AM
Darius C.: ?
Quote


if this is in regard to where it is, like it's been said a million times before, the uploading's not automatic. someone's gotta load these things manually. be patient, it'll be up soon enough. i mean you're only commenting the morning after it was due. give it a little longer

Darius Corry
Artist
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426 comments
# 9   Posted: Mar 11 2009, 08:01 AM
?

Coldstream
Artist
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159 comments
# 8   Posted: Mar 10 2009, 08:42 PM
posted!!

Coldstream
Artist
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159 comments
# 7   Posted: Mar 9 2009, 02:43 PM
Almost done drawing... need some value and text!!!

Coldstream
Artist
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159 comments
# 6   Posted: Feb 25 2009, 08:19 AM
Looks good so far and no boobies... yet!!

JoshuaEliGilley
Artist
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461 comments
# 5   Posted: Feb 12 2009, 04:09 PM
Nice matchup, these characters should make for good fights.
Good luck with Kalaw's first bout Bicen!

Coldstream
Artist
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159 comments
# 4   Posted: Feb 11 2009, 07:00 AM
Should be good... lots of spacey stuff so far!!

Phill
Artist
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895 comments
# 3   Posted: Feb 10 2009, 05:17 PM
Congrats on getting a new character in Bicentennial, and damn, I was kinda wanting to fight Draxx myself. Well, Gothology comes first. Good luck you two.

bicentennial man
Artist
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55 comments
# 2   Posted: Feb 10 2009, 04:45 PM
im back for the first time to bring the fire
good luck coldstream and thanks for the battle

schupfnudel
Artist
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18 comments
# 1   Posted: Feb 10 2009, 01:37 PM
This should be interesting! Looking forward to your comics.

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 4 weeks
Ended: Mar 18th, 2009
Votes Cast: 23
Page Views: 1061
Winner: Coldstream

 

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