i hope you both the best of a learning experience1 also thank you much for posting! taking a look at this has helped me alot.

Dumb Comment.


Because Pong asked for one.

These were both real nice, although I liked Monday's better. He had a story that brought the characters together in an interesting way, and it worked, felt natural and stuff. (I don't mean to say Pong didn't, though..)
With Pong's, although I like the style, and the Victorian stuff, I guess I just wasn't connecting with the characters.

Monday, I like where this style is going... I agree it needed a little more, though.. it felt kinda bare. Maybe just needed more line, more bulk. :I Or more backgrounds.

pong: i envy how effortless your style comes off as. every line seems at once calculated and spontaneous. your pages are, in general, a joy to look at, and images like the second panel of the first page make my day. i'm not sure how i feel about the use of halftone pattern in the comic, though. because the dots are so perfectly arranged and spaced, they don't seem to integrate well with your drawings.
i enjoyed the story as well. 20 pages felt like 10. i wanted to read more.

monday: there's a lovely airiness to your pencils. all of the characters seem so fragile, like they could be swept away by a breeze. it fits your story---i don't think it would have felt the same drawn in ink. i admire how you're seeking new and better ways to handle anatomy. you're getting better at it, i think, though there is an instance or two where it distracted me (the last panel of page 5 comes to mind).
when it comes to story, i prefer yours over pong's because i'm a sap and the ending made me feel terribly sad.

I don't know what comics you must have been reading then.

I did. It wasn't.

King Pong...I think this is the most favoritest thing I have of yours...this comic...It was frenetic and mercurial and there was a lot of versatility of technique...artwise for me it was perfect...Reminds me a lot of like some weird melding of Ted Mckeever, Kevin O'Neil, and 80's BD...I had no problem with clarity...I thought the color was inventive and spot on.  I really enjoyed this work.

Storywise I was lost.  I did go back and reread all the introvert stories...still maybe I wasn't lost just uninterested.

Monday this wrk seems like a good start.  I won't repeat what other's have said so maybe you could try this style on toned paper with a colored pencil?? Or on watercolor paper with a watercolor wash...

 

If you could have a two minute montage of scenes that happened right before this episode that would really help me understand who these characters are. Also, if you could just make it just three panels that could help. And maybe add a cat that likes lasagna and a john everyman that I can relate to. Maybe the cat has a loveable side kick?

You're just going to have read up MH, it's worth it.

Pong, I really liked the style, but in parts in really really stepped on the readability of panels. THe tone kind of got out of control and I had to stare at a panel for a while until I got it. The terrible two looked completely different in the beginning of the story than at the end of the story, and with your style, facial features are kind of arbitrary so when they changed clothes I thought they were different people. I think the story went on a longer than it needed to and kind of meandered in the middle and I had to force myself through it. And it seemed to kind of end arbitrarily.

Monday, um I am assuming the parents are the terrible two? I couldn't figure out who the introvert was, was he the guy in the bunny costume? Um I had no idea what was going on after the first read and I couldn't get through it again. As for the art, I think it could have been a good anime-ish style but I am guessing you just ran out of time. I liked the beginning of this artwork I just wish I could see it finished

I have noticed this with a lot of writing on void, maybe its just cause I am new. But I think its good to write your story acknowledging the fact that people don't know the 2 or 3 year back stories of your character.If there is backstory that needs to be known, its ok to put a paragraph or two of text so that I can be caught up to speed with who the heck these people are.   If you don't actually NAME a character in the comic(generally one that isn't one of the two combatants) the audience doesn't know who they are. Understandablity is rule number one in comics.

@pong: I srsly enjoyed the quality in this one.the page layouts and colors were look'in cool. I have to second what angieness said about your hand writing though.

@Monday:too bad you ran out of time dude, I think your pencil work still looked alright though. Story wise, maybe it's because I didn't read the SRT comics, but I was pretty confused :0 glad you still posted your side even so.

! ink wash !

I could have done any of those things.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

good game.

I think for the most part what you pulled off stylewise looked good, Monday.  Though I think the addition of shading in the backgrounds, or an ink wash would have given it a more "full" feeling.  

Thanks Angie,  I did slow down quite a bit lettering most of these pages, but there were a few panels where I suppose I did not catch myself scribbling down words like I normally do.  I GUESS I JUST GET CAUGHT UP IN THE THRILL OF IT ALL.

yeah this was a new in PENCILLING for me. I've seen people like canaan and fuu pull it off so  I thought I could experiment some as well as implement some western cartooning.

Pong-I felt artistically you really stepped up on this and you had some great ideas in here. I do wish you would have slowed down a little with writing your dialogue, I can't see your comics with digital text so it would help to work on making the text a little easier to read. I wasn't a fan of the tones like in the first 2 panels of page 11 in the background but it did fit with your style. I really liked how you drew The Terrible Two, your characters always make me think of Studio 4°C which is a good thing. Keep it up dude, loved the art in this.

Monday-I had to reread your's a few times to get it, but fortunately since I read SRT I knew where the kid was (probably) from. Once I understood the story I appreciated it a lot more but since I had to reread it to get it, you still need to work on your clarity, it may have helped to give a brief introduction as to what was going on. I wish you could have spent some more time on your art because everything looks fairly rushed and messy.

why is my vote not coming up!

pong really dig this one! I like the phsychedelic look of the whole comics! gee!!! its like reading a painting here hahaha!

Okay everything seems to be working okay, hopefully everything is in proper order. HOWEVER, there seems to be an issue with votes not happening so if this isn't fixed in the next day or so I'll extend voting by however many days it takes to get fixed so Pong and Monday can get their comics the proper treatment. Keeping it up so we can see when voting is working.

OK, got the uploader to work now.

I emailed my files to angie, as the uploader was giving me grief.

WEll, i'm uploaded, message back here if my files didnt go through

Toast says a lot of things.

what the hell, Monday D:>
no words..

Thats fine, I can tough it.

Sorry Pio, while that really really sucks, Toast said no extensions for Month of the Dead fighters

On the night of Obama\'s victory, I was biking home from a night class when randomly, a girl had walked up to me to ask
what was up. I barely got a reply in when suddenly she pushed me off my bike. At this , I tried to ignore the blatant assaultand walked on. It was here that a group of people were laughing and someone younger ran up and tried to wrench  me off my bike. At this I had to struggle walking away when the first girl and another big guy joined in and assaulted me at the back of the head repeatedly. In my backpack was a supplement of all my art materials and a 3000 dollar laptop. Realizing this , I yelled for help. And soon they scattered. Nothing was taken , and I was not hurt.  I called 911 and gave descriptions of the people. When they arrived at my doorstep, I was reiterating that event to them- and one of them perked up and said \" Wait that ugly fat girl down there ? \" and I said , \" Yeah \"
\"Shit we just passed them up - why didn\'t you say it earlier we coulda had them \"
I couldn\'t help but laugh at this point.

The day after, I got sick. The stress of the event expedited the early signs of an oncoming cold.

And when I visited school the day afterwards to check with my teachers about missed classes, my bike was stolen in the space of 3 hours. This happened on wednesday of the same week.

Needless to say, I may need an extension.
 But honestly, I dont know when I\'ll get in the mood to work again.

I would love to get something accomplished though.

hyped. MAKE THIS WORTH AND MAKE ME HAPPY!!!!! *pfff do it the way you guys usually do, works for me*

Shot gun wedding cake?!

Forever, Pio?

AGAIN, Pio?

WHAT.

Ho shit, bring em hell!

p. cool stuf guys

I already am, for I have to change my underpants in reaction to the excitement caused.

Asshole, you\'re gonna regret this.