Sixtem for the win, qt you would have won my vote easily with some more murderous barnyard action. Still, cool idea of the video game because Jake is fond of computers. The last page looked very cool, specially the pig head. sixtem, I think the butchers could have murdered him a bit more before he killed them. Plus oats just looks like he got shot in the jaw, so he\'d come back for more? But I liked your art and storytelling was good.
Speed Death Tournament 2008: Round 1 / Jakob vs. Barnyard Butchers
Critiques & Comments
# 19
Posted:
Apr 28 2008, 06:58 PM
# 18
Posted:
Apr 28 2008, 06:40 AM
Thnx for the feedback too. Texting, pacing, and less confusion are all things i really need to take into whatever I do next. Tempted as it would be to make these two zombie animals or robots i think leaving them as is works, short lived but anyone is welcome to use them as character extras.
Thanks wei for fixing the setup i owes u.
Sixtem:i can\'t wait to see what you do next, i really think this is an improvement from you and you\'ll do wonders in this so keep it up. kudos for making oats ram jakob, favorite part.
Thanks wei for fixing the setup i owes u.
Sixtem:i can\'t wait to see what you do next, i really think this is an improvement from you and you\'ll do wonders in this so keep it up. kudos for making oats ram jakob, favorite part.
# 17
Posted:
Apr 27 2008, 02:32 PM
Thanks for the awesome feedback and critiques, guys!
I\'m gonna do my best to integrate them in the next comic.
I\'m gonna do my best to integrate them in the next comic.
# 16
Posted:
Apr 27 2008, 11:31 AM
sixtem: Not bad; I agree that it was easy to read and fun for what it was. I just feel that it\'s a little forgettable. It\'s just Jakob going and killing some animals; nothing particularly stands out.
Maybe if we had a little more insight as to what was going on in the guy\'s head as he does this. I mean even in Void, non-anthropomorphic animals that kill humans with butcher knives and then eat them aren\'t very common...
Or maybe if you had left out part of the story. For example, was it nessessary to show the cop bringing Jakob to the house? Could he just have been there, and you let the reader in on a few details, leaving us to fill in the rest? ...As a bonus, that might have made a shorter(but concise) comic, which would have given you time to strengthen the artwork. Just some suggestions.
qtr: Sorry you couldn\'t finish, but I think this was still really nice. It was creepy, although I felt that it could have been even more creepy if the pacing had been a little smoother?
One thing I was confused about at first is the fifth panel of page 3. I see now that Jakob\'s head is getting smashed into the screen, but it\'s still hard to tell. When I first read the comic I was totally confused. Also, I\'m not sure why Oates is thanking Ed for letting him kill the guy, when Ed was just shown killing Jakob. Something to clarify what was happening on the last page might have helped.
I felt that your comic was only a few steps short of a solid entry, though. I\'d love to see more of the Butchers
Maybe if we had a little more insight as to what was going on in the guy\'s head as he does this. I mean even in Void, non-anthropomorphic animals that kill humans with butcher knives and then eat them aren\'t very common...
Or maybe if you had left out part of the story. For example, was it nessessary to show the cop bringing Jakob to the house? Could he just have been there, and you let the reader in on a few details, leaving us to fill in the rest? ...As a bonus, that might have made a shorter(but concise) comic, which would have given you time to strengthen the artwork. Just some suggestions.
qtr: Sorry you couldn\'t finish, but I think this was still really nice. It was creepy, although I felt that it could have been even more creepy if the pacing had been a little smoother?
One thing I was confused about at first is the fifth panel of page 3. I see now that Jakob\'s head is getting smashed into the screen, but it\'s still hard to tell. When I first read the comic I was totally confused. Also, I\'m not sure why Oates is thanking Ed for letting him kill the guy, when Ed was just shown killing Jakob. Something to clarify what was happening on the last page might have helped.
I felt that your comic was only a few steps short of a solid entry, though. I\'d love to see more of the Butchers
# 15
Posted:
Apr 22 2008, 08:39 PM
Sixtem - Keep working on your lines and inking, your characters are looking wonky and stiff. Your pacing is good, and your comics are easy to read. Your headed in the right direction, you just need to iron some minor inking issues out.
QTR - Creepy as hell, I love your storytelling, pacing. However, I wish more work was put into your comic. Watch out for word balloons that have long paragraphs in them. All those sentences could of made a couple more cool pages in your comic. Animals eating people! Arrgh - nightmare tonight!
QTR - Creepy as hell, I love your storytelling, pacing. However, I wish more work was put into your comic. Watch out for word balloons that have long paragraphs in them. All those sentences could of made a couple more cool pages in your comic. Animals eating people! Arrgh - nightmare tonight!
# 14
Posted:
Apr 22 2008, 04:24 PM
Well... better to have more pages than you originally had than to have less pages than you submitted... I guess...
Sixtem: Great to see you back and fighting again, you\'ve got a pretty cool character here dude, but so far this first comic seems rather empty, and in all honesty I think you could do without the colors for this in favor of more details. The story is rather dull I\'m afraid, but I\'d like to see you do something more and bring out more of his personality in the future.
qtr: I gotta say, this is one of the creepier characters I\'ve seen in the SDT, but this comic isn\'t the best I\'ve seen from ya. I really wish you could of finished this up nice and proper since you do some awesome things with colors and dark themes.
You two did really well, but we gotta see something more than just: Meet, fight, then KILL!! Vote goes to Sixtem on this one.
Sixtem: Great to see you back and fighting again, you\'ve got a pretty cool character here dude, but so far this first comic seems rather empty, and in all honesty I think you could do without the colors for this in favor of more details. The story is rather dull I\'m afraid, but I\'d like to see you do something more and bring out more of his personality in the future.
qtr: I gotta say, this is one of the creepier characters I\'ve seen in the SDT, but this comic isn\'t the best I\'ve seen from ya. I really wish you could of finished this up nice and proper since you do some awesome things with colors and dark themes.
You two did really well, but we gotta see something more than just: Meet, fight, then KILL!! Vote goes to Sixtem on this one.
# 13
Posted:
Apr 22 2008, 02:53 PM
Ill wait for wei to fix everything, so I\'ll crit just sixtem for now:
I liked your battle a lot, the inks are very cool, as I love dark settings. I also liked the action shots, though the angling is kind of always in the way, not really making it hard to read, but, just wrong. I also found a bit weird that he just acepted the job of killing for the cop as a normal thing, even though they are just..animals?
I liked your battle a lot, the inks are very cool, as I love dark settings. I also liked the action shots, though the angling is kind of always in the way, not really making it hard to read, but, just wrong. I also found a bit weird that he just acepted the job of killing for the cop as a normal thing, even though they are just..animals?
# 12
Posted:
Apr 22 2008, 10:45 AM
wei..theres only four pages. shit.
# 11
Posted:
Apr 22 2008, 09:54 AM
Sixtem-it\'s good to see you back and battling. I enjoyed the story and liked what you were doing with the inks. And while I appreciate that you were experimenting, your backgrounds felt extremely empty. I also think the texture of the background wasn\'t necessary. I\'ve just never really been a fan of black and white on texture, it makes it feel kind of unfinished. If time permits, it would be nice to see you put a little more detail in your work, but I suppose SDT isn\'t the ideal time to push detail haha
QTR-It sucks that you were unable to finish because I enjoyed where your battle was going. I think you should be careful with your text though. The tons of text using that font made it difficult to read. Since your style is more painterly, perhaps incorporating the text into the actual page could have worked. Other than that there\'s really not much I can say since you weren\'t able to finish up
QTR-It sucks that you were unable to finish because I enjoyed where your battle was going. I think you should be careful with your text though. The tons of text using that font made it difficult to read. Since your style is more painterly, perhaps incorporating the text into the actual page could have worked. Other than that there\'s really not much I can say since you weren\'t able to finish up
# 10
Posted:
Apr 21 2008, 11:24 PM
resubmitted + more pages. i figure i should try harder.
# 9
Posted:
Apr 21 2008, 09:46 PM
um.. uploaded. quitting job unexpectedly, avioding home because of drama, anxiety, trying new paneling style that takes me much longer, and being stumped with an ending = my vote goes to sixtem. guess this year isnt for me unless i get lucky then i might do better in a week. but not this week apparently.
# 8
Posted:
Apr 20 2008, 10:24 AM
Submitted.
# 7
Posted:
Apr 19 2008, 08:44 AM
good luck guys
# 6
Posted:
Apr 15 2008, 10:30 AM
oi good fight. i hope! sweet. meat.
# 5
Posted:
Apr 14 2008, 07:26 PM
Ace! The butchers are prolly my favorite character this SDT. Let\'s have a good fight, QTR!
# 4
Posted:
Apr 14 2008, 06:40 PM
ALONE IN THE DARK
# 3
Posted:
Apr 14 2008, 06:28 PM
My bet is on QT \'cause sixtem\'s char looks like a sissy. 8D
# 2
Posted:
Apr 14 2008, 06:15 PM
Good luck guys! This\'ll be awesome!
# 1
Posted:
Apr 14 2008, 06:10 PM
SIXTEM YOU MUST WIN.
I HAVE TO FIGHT JAKOB.
IT\'S A MATTER OF TRUE LOVE.
I HAVE TO FIGHT JAKOB.
IT\'S A MATTER OF TRUE LOVE.
Speed Death Tournament Match
Drawing Time:
1 week
Ended:
Apr 28th, 2008
Votes Cast:
56
Page Views:
2855
Winner:
sixtem
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