Eden & Seak vs. Aidan and Kieran

Eden & Seak vs. Aidan and Kieran


512 points
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331 points
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Critiques & Comments
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Rtv!
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603 comments
# 27   Posted: Mar 21 2008, 06:46 PM
Oy? I never heard of these guys. Imma read the bios before i read the fights and type another bible-thick comment. Them 2 vs 2 matches are me favourite.

Dimension
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489 comments
# 26   Posted: Mar 20 2008, 09:49 AM
@Pi: Thanks! and don\'t worry, I\'ll keep on practicing ;3

(Pi)
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475 comments
# 25   Posted: Mar 19 2008, 10:23 AM
Dimension - very cool coloring style, I like the feel it gives off. there\'s some inconsistencies in your art, especially when it comes to your anatomy. action and posing can be a difficult combination, but try referencing sports photos to get an idea of how a human body moves, then develop your own poses from there.

Shadow - the unfinished status of your comic is pretty evident, so I\'ll leave it at that. Anatomy, posing, and angles are all things too work on, though, and will just take heaps and heaps of practice. Draw anything and everything you can get your hands on, and strive for getting all the little details you can. drawing live people is a MUST.

Keep practicing, you two!

Dimension
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489 comments
# 24   Posted: Mar 18 2008, 08:58 PM
@kuro: Thanks for the tips! Glad you liked the cameo x3

Kuro
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581 comments
# 23   Posted: Mar 17 2008, 03:55 PM
SLAUGHTERFACE CAMEO!! awesome

dimension, right on. there\'s still a lot of stiffness & similar angles going on in your stuff. phil suggested tarantino, but all of his stuff is from older movies anyway haha. it\'s easy to find comics with those sort of dynamics & they apply to the situation a bit better. just look through something with a fight in it. artists will take things such as the angles into account to help drive the action & make the overall feel of the page more exciting, or to drive home a concept. if that makes sense. also, practice more with cars in your backgrounds. something i\'ve been trying lately. don\'t feel you have to draw EVERY SINGLE detail on them. also think about varying up your line weights. a couple of times you\'d give a car a hub cap with spokes, or just black out the wheel entirely & it draws attention away from the character\'s lines a bit. otherwise, nice work.

shadow_rain, it\'s hard to comment on since it\'s not quite complete. they might have been a product of rushing but the lack of panel borders & the super-digital looking balloons bugged me. next time, once you have your pages scanned, there\'s a real easy way to do panel borders in photoshop. get a brush, adjust the thickness accordingly, look at the original borders you drew, click a corner while holding shift & when you drag the mouse, it\'ll draw a straight line. real easy. as for the balloons, you might wanna try looking for better variations or heck make your own in the program if that\'s how you wanna roll. and choose a font that doesn\'t look so jagged & bitmappy.

-J

Dimension
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489 comments
# 22   Posted: Mar 16 2008, 05:18 PM
@Shadow_Rain: Glad you liked it, and we talked about most of this through AIM so I won’t say much more :3 oh, and I look forward to your beyond battle btw. ;)

@Angieness: Thank ya kindly! Yeah story writing is my weak spot, XD I’ll try to have a more likable story on my next battle. XD I’ll practice drawing arms more too. I also promise my backgrounds will be better and they will be shaded aaaand I’ll get to working on drawing action poses better as well.

@RedRevolver:  Thanks, I’m glad you like the way I color. I’m still getting used to drawing backgrounds so these weren’t so great, but I’m sure I’ll have some better ones next time. I will try to be more original when it comes to the story next time too. :3

@Duredhel: I’ll be working on drawing arms more so I’ll  make sure to give girls shoulders, lol x3 and I’ll take your advise about dialogue, thank you! ;3

@Phillip_C: I know XD sorry, most of the panels did have a 3/4 body shot. You see I normally draw too big and end up running out of room to draw the legs and I’m also not so good at drawing small sooo I’ll work on that along with drawing from different angles. Thank you for your comment and crit! :D

Phill
Artist
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895 comments
# 21   Posted: Mar 16 2008, 02:34 PM
Not bad you two.

Dimension: Not bad as I just said, you got a complete comic that\'s consistent and readable, however you seem to be suffering from the 3/4 body shot, meaning every panel I\'ve seen from you (including your into pages) all have the characters viewed from the middle of their chest up, even in action scenes. You did seem to move away from the characters to show whole bodies, but you seriously gotta mix things up with your camera angles. Think of your comics like a movie, when you see an action sequence, you rarely have the characters shown from the chest up while swinging a punch.

As corny as it sounds, I\'d highly suggest watching some Terintino movies that have lots of fight scenes in them, he always shoots somebody getting hurt at an interesting angle that really shows how the impact of somebody\'s punch or attack affects the person being hit. Now, don\'t think that every panel needs crazy batman styled angles now as Kozi would say. Most of the time the angles in this comic did fit for what was happening, but for the action sequences you really could benefit from studying some action flicks and other comics.

Overall though this was a pretty decent first battle for void, now let\'s hope you keep going



Shadow Rain: While things can happen that can really hurt the production of a comic, there are some things you can do to keep yourself from going insane while trying to produce a comic under a deadline my friend

First: DO NOT GO FOR QUANTITY! This means that you should keep a comic on void short and sweet. Granted there are a lot of people who try to break the page limit, it takes even greater skill to make something just as good while under 10 pages. Now 8 pages is a pretty decent number, but it is still a big number of pages to do within a month so I\'m giving you props for that

Second: USE ANY FREE TIME YOU HAVE FOR YOUR COMIC! Whether it\'s the first two hours the moment you wake up before you have to go somewhere, or the only hours you have after work and school, use it to your advantage. Most people can draw a single page within a couple of hours, don\'t be afraid to put the pen to the paper during your downtime.

Third: EVERYBODY MAKES MISTAKES! This includes me, you, and everybody else. Some things happen that we can control and it leads to an unfinished comic at times. So don\'t feel down about an unfinished comic bud, some people will get pissed and will just think you slacked off *gazes at a few people he knows* but just ignore them and focus on either finishing this comic, or work on finishing the next fight to the best of your abilities. Also remember that you won\'t always get extensions on void, so keep that in mind as well.



I really look forward to your next fight you two.

Duredhel
Artist
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114 comments
# 20   Posted: Mar 16 2008, 08:51 AM
Dimension- Nice first battle mate :3. I think Red and Angie covered most of the bases, the story was a bit predictable, but it wasn\'t boring. You handled your anatomy suprisingly well, but I noticed it kind of fell appart when you tried to show most of the character in a single panel, girls have shoulders too y\'know ;). My biggest nitpick would be dialogue :/ it really didn\'t work at all for this battle, I like to do a lot of banter in my battles as well, so its very important that it doesn\'t seem forced, try saying your dialogues out loud, make the faces, make it seem like a conversation, its embarassing but it helps make them more natural.

Shadow_Rain - Sucks that you didn\'t get to finish :/ but as Red and Angie said, there will always be something going on that might keep you from finishing, the trick is to finish despite that ;). Plan ahead carefully, keep a schedule, and very importantly, plan for less time than what you have. It might mean you\'ll have to work yourself to death the first few days, but you\'ll have some peace of mind afterwards. Still, an incomplete is better than a default.

Red
Council
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632 comments
# 19   Posted: Mar 15 2008, 08:48 PM
Shame you didn\'t get to finish shadow_rain... it\'s happens to everyone sometimes it just sucks that it was your first battle :C Next time, try to make a schedule for yourself, or better yet a checkpoint thing. Like, have the story done by this date, pencils done by this date, etc etc. Otherwise, the deadline will totally sneak up on you! Don\'t get discouraged, pick yourself up and fight again soon C:

Dimension: great start! I loved that you put in some nice backgrounds, and I love how you color. I didn\'t give you a terribly high creativity score though. Not saying it was boring, but it was very predictable. Next time, mix it up a little! The story seemed a little \'playing it safe\' but I can\'t blame you too much because it was your first battle. Looking forward to your future stuff! go go goooo!

Angie
Council
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1937 comments
# 18   Posted: Mar 15 2008, 07:08 PM
Dimension-I\'m happy to see the same quality you had in your intros here. While your story wasn\'t the most original thing, it was a strong first showing. I think in your next fight it would be cool to try something different and give your audience a feeling for who your character is. Of course I\'m not expecting something full of character development or anything for a while since you need time to figure out where you want to take her. You should really watch out for your anatomy, you\'re mostly having some issues with drawing arms. In the future it would also be nice to see you put shading and such in your backgrounds. Also be careful with some of the fighting scenes, your poses were looking kind of stiff. But other than that I think it was good for a first fight, I look forward to what you  have in store in the future.

Shadow_Rain-sucks you couldn\'t really give this your all. It\'s best to just try to get a good handle on time management because 9 times out of 10, something will always be happening in your life that will want to take time away from working on your battle. I\'ve done most of my fights between college and working so it can certainly be done, you just have to have a lot of self discipline. I hope your next fight is much better

Shadow_Rain
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13 comments
# 17   Posted: Mar 15 2008, 12:07 AM
Yeah I was actually going to redo it and put it as the beginning beyond battle. Especially since this coming week is my last week with these classes so definitely going to do Gen Ed\'s next term. ^^; I was hoping my inks wouldn\'t of flaked on me which the one I used the most did and the tip broke. Dx

Your story kicked ass, Dimension! =D I was laughing how there was somehow related circumstances(Seak stealing something from Aidan XD). But yeah, next time we do rematch and have time on our hands, wholeheartedly agree!

And yes you can use that for your avatar forum, no problem! <3

OK more on comic. Sorry, I\'m just as tired:

Personality: Dear god I love how Aidan looks crazy. XD

Everything else: I was able to read it perfectly. Some bubble placement was  a bit off like page 5, I wanted to read what Seak said before Eden\'s line.

Another thing, though due to timing this might not really matter, but just in case! Perfect with the claws being heavy, loved that! <3 However I don\'t know if you\'ve tried to lift something so heavy you would drop it or fall with it. That\'s the only thing I can really see is that she looks like she\'s not trying to keep herself standing. But that\'s just me and now I know I have to see what I put in her bio and make it more understandable.

I will adjust and complete my side with my beyond battle, I just feel bad since we had similar situations that you were able to get more done than me. Oh, and so loving how you did the convo between Aidan and Kieran so much! I\'m going to use that instead what I had originally planned if you don\'t mind. XD

Dimension
Artist
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489 comments
# 16   Posted: Mar 14 2008, 10:27 PM
Well firstly, I want to thank who ever it was that chose the thumbnails for this battle, I wasn\'t sure what we were supposed to do for the thumbnails, sorry. I was like uhh…how do we upload our thumbnails? O.o;

Well it\'s 12:57 AM right now where I\'m at and I\'m a bit sleepy so hopefully what I say makes sense. It’s too bad that you ran out of time to work on your pages Shadow Rain, but school work is more important and I ended up having a similar problem as well. I was just too excited about battling that I didn’t even know how hard it actually was. Drawing just 2 intro pages is way different than actually drawing 10 full pages with a decent story to with go ’em. And I also encountered a lot of problems too and kind of felt like I was rushing or…knew I could do better so I understand. :3

Haha, you got Eden and Seak’s personality perfectly! XD the story was nice, I’d like to see the continuation of it ;D oh, and I love Eden and Seak’s expression on page 5 the 3rd   panel (maybe 4th if you don’t include the one with Eden‘s eyes as 2 panels) would you mind if I colored that and used it as my avatar for the Void forums? =3

Alright, so next time let’s both make sure we won’t have a busy schedule in our way. And I myself am going to keep in mind how hard this comic stuff really is. Hmm, I did like your battle, it’s just too bad you ran out of time. Maybe we can rematch when we have more time on our hands.

Peace!

As for everyone else, throw your crits at me D:>

Shadow_Rain
Artist
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13 comments
# 15   Posted: Mar 14 2008, 09:09 PM
I would\'ve asked for another week, Lucky, but since it\'s my first battle I couldn\'t. I wish I knew ahead of time about a lot of the projects since they told us at a bad time to where he had to cram.

I lost a lot of sleep because of everything, don\'t make me become an insomniac now. o.o;

Lucky Cypher
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31 comments
# 14   Posted: Mar 14 2008, 07:56 PM
You gotta be kiddin me! I was really looking forward to this!!

Seriously, I know you\'re not paid to do this and you probably got a shitload of stuff to do Shadow Rain, but please next time try to schedule your time right with some extra just in case.

Well hope next time it\'ll work out and I feel bad for Dimension...wish I could have read your comic^^

Shadow_Rain
Artist
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13 comments
# 13   Posted: Mar 14 2008, 12:22 AM
Ugh, I\'m going to apologize to everyone right now and I\'m going to go work on a beyond battle to help put my points up. >< I\'m not going to give excuses since I was so excited and didn\'t do the math on the weeks and when final project and exams were due. I just didn\'t want to default. D:

I\'ll make it up to you Dimension! I just know I got on the wrong foot because of final weeks. ><

Dimension
Artist
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489 comments
# 12   Posted: Mar 11 2008, 07:54 PM
Alright, I\'ve uploaded my pages. Sorry if the KB is too high on some of them, I had to do some page stacking, sorry. X.x

hope all goes well.

Jack
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225 comments
# 11   Posted: Feb 26 2008, 10:57 PM
Hahaha I was hoping this would happen. Make it good guys.

Airlight
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136 comments
# 10   Posted: Feb 25 2008, 03:46 PM
Awesome!

Rootin\' for both of ye here!

E.W. Schneider
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1041 comments
# 9   Posted: Feb 24 2008, 11:19 PM
Good Luck on your first battles!

rabbitrabbit
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334 comments
# 8   Posted: Feb 21 2008, 09:48 PM
Four great tastes that go great together.  

Lucky Cypher
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31 comments
# 7   Posted: Feb 21 2008, 09:21 PM
I agree with angieness!
Looking forward to this... woot woot!

Shadow_Rain
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13 comments
# 6   Posted: Feb 21 2008, 05:10 PM
You too, Dimension!

So going to slack on my school work for this. XD

aribooboo
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282 comments
# 5   Posted: Feb 21 2008, 05:01 PM
good luck you guys! =]

Angie
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1937 comments
# 4   Posted: Feb 21 2008, 04:46 PM
I\'ll be disappointed if the adorable sidekicks don\'t fight against one another too

Kuro
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581 comments
# 3   Posted: Feb 21 2008, 04:44 PM
yeah... zsa beat me too it haha...
bonus points if one of you successfully pulls off the doomsday device (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doomsday_Device)


-J

Aluísio C. Santos
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735 comments
# 2   Posted: Feb 21 2008, 04:33 PM
TAG BATTLE OMG

Dimension
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489 comments
# 1   Posted: Feb 21 2008, 04:20 PM
And... here... we... go! D:>

good luck to ya Shadow Rain, I\'ll do my best. >:3

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 3 weeks
Ended: Mar 21st, 2008
Votes Cast: 25
Page Views: 2115
Winner: Dimension

 

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