Harlow Ironlocke vs. Wictor

Harlow Ironlocke vs. Wictor


263 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5

tags: harlow ironlocke, wictor

by Wirecat


294 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10Page 11Page 12Page 13Page 14Page 15Page 16Page 17Page 18Page 19Page 20Page 21

tags: harlow ironlocke, story, wictor, ynde



Critiques & Comments
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Astrodile
Artist
icon
69 comments
# 10   Posted: Jul 22 2018, 10:32 AM
Great stuff y'all!

Wire: Everyone else has already said to add color, and shorten the pages, and I'm going to emphasize with them here that quality > quantity. While I commend you for doing such a great amount of work within the time limit, less pages is definitely more especially consider how this comic would've been /much/ easier to visually understand if you added even just some simple b/w or grey shading. Otherwise, your sketch-like lines get cluttered in what it's trying to show in the seriousness of a situation or some panels simply look too empty and unfinished altogether. Why is there that huge black panel on the fourth page? Even though this is to indicate a transitioning point/time skip in the comic, if anything it looks like you censored an entire panel if anything.
There are certain panels that could've been smaller or removed because of what's shown prolongs the amount of work you're doing and takes up time you could've put into something other then the character lineart, or implying something which shouldn't have needed that much space within a comic page in the first place (Pg3 for example, the first two panels shouldn't have taken up that much space in the page itself considering that they're just showing available windows to hop through; Or in Pg17's last two panels which could've easily been removed and the speech bubble moved to the prior one because we already understand that Harlow is on a time limit to save this stranger.)

I know you're oft to do many pages in a comic, but next time I really would like see you try and do /less/, limit yourself, so that we can visually understand your comics to their fullest with even just grayscale and so that you can better add backgrounds to them as well, because once we hit page 9 it's quite noticeable that the panels become eventually more or less empty outside of the characters and whatever actions they're doing.

Arts: I certainly enjoyed this comic, and I chuckled here and there! Your backgrounds and poses have already improved, and the writing aside from it's humor helps to understand Harlows personality a bit more, wherein he is compulsed to explain and question things, something that I like because it doesn't require solely relying his biography to understand him, being that new character that he is. Keep practicing at those expressions, because as much as Harlow's have improved I can't say the same improvement is shown in Wictor's case.

Julz
Artist
icon
337 comments
# 9   Posted: Jul 20 2018, 07:45 PM
Both very cool, very well done comics!! Great job guys!!
Arts, dang thing comic looks fine, these colors and backgrounds are starting to really shape up. I liked the way you wrote your opponent, the story was very cute i loved it xD

Wire, lovely art! Very strong and long comic. I would have liked color and maybe tighter lines but you know what, your sketchy lines have an appeal. I really really love how fluid everything is, and the detail in the rooms was interesting and fun to investigate. Some things did not convey right away like when harlow had to turn his head around, and at the last page when he was climbing that ledge and walking away.

Heathen
Artist
icon
219 comments
# 8   Posted: Jul 17 2018, 10:49 PM
Arts, you’re improving at a rapid pace! Keep battling, and by this time next year, you could be approaching pro levels of quality.

Wire, I really like how dynamic this comic is, but it suffers from some pacing and clarity issues. As others have said, I highly recommend taking the time to add screen tones, spot blacks, or flat colors to set the various elements of the page apart, because if you look close, there’s really excellent stuff going on here, but it really confuses the eye. I would have liked to see this comic be half the page count with blacks and tones or flats.

William_Duel
Community Manager
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892 comments
# 7   Posted: Jul 17 2018, 06:04 PM
Red: Artsandgoodies: You've really come a long way! I think this was a solid comic with good writing. The thing that bugged me the most was white action lines. They take a while to be able to create from scratch. My advice would just be to look at how other people are drawing them for reference while drawing them. They look a little too loose and wild right now. But I think overall you did a great job!

Wirecat: Your expressions are amazing! This was a good little comic. To be honest, I liked the sketchy nature of it at times, but other times I really had to look to understand what I was seeing. Still very enjoyable though.
Quote

I just want to echo about the speedlines, they tend not to overlap like that.  They're usually uniform.  There's actually brushes you can find online for PS and the like which will make the speed lines for you.  I don't have a link handy I can point to but probably not hard to find.  

Also Wirecat impressive pagecount.  But I feel like you're stuff is so geared towards color that even some flats might have helped clarity a bit.

Red
Council
icon
633 comments
# 6   Posted: Jul 17 2018, 01:04 PM
Artsandgoodies: You've really come a long way! I think this was a solid comic with good writing. The thing that bugged me the most was white action lines. They take a while to be able to create from scratch. My advice would just be to look at how other people are drawing them for reference while drawing them. They look a little too loose and wild right now. But I think overall you did a great job!

Wirecat: Your expressions are amazing! This was a good little comic. To be honest, I liked the sketchy nature of it at times, but other times I really had to look to understand what I was seeing. Still very enjoyable though.

ArtsandGoodies
Think Tank
icon
95 comments
# 5   Posted: Jul 17 2018, 10:38 AM
yarnwitch:  What was harlow doing there if he took nothing?
Quote
Regarding this question Harlow's hobby is sneaking into places he hasn't been to see what's there. He doesn't really intend to steal stuff he's just a curious cat who likes being in places he sometimes isn't allowed in. Thanks for the comment and crit.

Wirecat: I love your comic and I love the stress you put Harlow through and the page that had the moment of panic was my favorite

yarnwitch
Think Tank
icon
217 comments
# 4   Posted: Jul 17 2018, 09:12 AM
Kitty spat! YESSSSSS! (As in fight, not the past tense of spit)

I had the wonderful experience of reading Art's full color comic first, which used humor in a way that I like. I enjoy that we learn Harlow feels compelled to correct people and had to supress that for safety. For technical things: your "hiss" balloon could be spikier to show more shock.

And then I read Wirecat's side, black and white but full of intrigue! Is wictor a venus cat trap? What was harlow doing there if he took nothing? And these mysteries are compelling! I just wish we had a few more.hints, especially to harlow's motive for being there, unless i just missed it somehow.
Overall, i can only give advice that I got recently as well, that in order to give depth to the scenes and make the characters stand out, some shading, even if just grays or hatching, would be helpful for us readers. (I am actually happy to have learned about it! I hope it helps you too!)

I loved this fight a lot and it made me want to fight you both!

      Edited Jul 17 2018,  09:25 AM by yarnwitch

ArtsandGoodies
Think Tank
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95 comments
# 3   Posted: Jul 16 2018, 11:41 PM
Submitted mine, I'm happy with what I got done and shutouts to Desi for helping keep me on track with her scheduling bootcamp stuff

Wirecat
Artist
icon
15 comments
# 2   Posted: Jul 16 2018, 11:37 PM
Okay there it is. Uploaded and ready!!!
I really wanted to do more, but again the deadline caught me with my pants down.
I'M GETTING BETTER THO :Dc Every new deadline feel a little easier to reach than the last.

Shen
Global Moderator
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1236 comments
# 1   Posted: Jun 19 2018, 07:42 PM
THROW DOWN

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 4 weeks
Ended: Jul 23rd, 2018
Votes Cast: 15
Page Views: 434
Winner: Wirecat

 

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