RETRIBUTION / Joey vs. Miller and The Gray Owl

RETRIBUTION — Joey vs. Miller and The Gray Owl

by Dechado


0 points
No images have been uploaded.


by PyrasTerran and


316 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9




Critiques & Comments
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PyrasTerran
Community Manager
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1386 comments
# 11   Posted: Jun 22 2018, 10:44 PM
thanks for the notes, friends

I agree with Kura/Kozi, and past battles i've been in has proven that if I can get the visual storytelling right all the way down I can still succeed even with missing some text; generally when I have incomplete pages but all the words down I do worse than the opposite

I need to remember next time that I need at least 2 hours for the lettering process when I'm racing the deadline clock

      Edited Jun 22 2018,  10:46 PM by PyrasTerran

Kozispoon
Approval Committee
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940 comments
# 10   Posted: Jun 22 2018, 10:22 PM
PYRAS- I had to go back and re-read, but I think I've learned more and enjoyed Joey's character developments and misadventures through your comics- which is weird! You are obviously comfortable battling this character and his antics really line up well in your comics and allow your own characters to play off him well. I admittedly read the updated version with the dialogue included in the last few pages first before this went up, so my opinion is slanted, but with the dialogue in I personally dug how this battle ended. But I agree with the comments below- the panels should convey at least a little of what they're saying even if the dialogue inst there.
Also I lowkey wanna battle Amber now. :00

Majikura
Artist
icon
465 comments
# 9   Posted: Jun 18 2018, 12:01 AM
Actually instead of relying on text so much, I feel you should concentrate on paneling and visual storytelling.  Even if there is no text at all, you should still be able to tell what is going on...which isn't the case here.

Nothin
Artist
icon
35 comments
# 8   Posted: Jun 16 2018, 12:59 AM
Pyras, you really gotta focus on getting text down first. Even on unfinished pages it's the thing that gets the point across the best, I really think you should know this. Especially in this comic where I have no idea what happened to get from one page to the next, and I don't think you're missing pages (as you only said you didn't have time to get the text in). This has happened a few times, maybe consider doing the text before anything else for the next one.

Desichan
Think Tank
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145 comments
# 7   Posted: Jun 15 2018, 09:46 PM
Good comic! Thank chu for the kid friendly version: https://sta.sh/21ob0vb5xql1

I feel like if anything could be improved you could put more life into a lot of the backgrounds and I feel like more zoom outs could've worked great for this, but its still really good and I enjoyed reading it! Especially in the SFD version hehe!

Dechado: I'm sorry you didn't get yours done but I'm sure it'd have been wonderful.

Dechado
Artist
icon
222 comments
# 6   Posted: Jun 15 2018, 09:22 PM
https://sta.sh/022jh97j1z8k

Thanks for the battle, Pyras.

      Edited Jun 15 2018,  09:23 PM by Dechado

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
icon
1386 comments
# 5   Posted: Jun 15 2018, 12:10 AM
additional material:

Like my last Vs. joey battle this comic isn't too serious

CAST:
Amber - Miller's sister, secretly into danger
Joey - lust demon, Miller's former employee
Matilda - Mage from another world, befriended Amber many holiday comics ago
Gray Owl - Likes the stabby slicey dicey


      Edited Jun 15 2018,  08:30 AM by PyrasTerran

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
icon
1386 comments
# 4   Posted: Jun 15 2018, 12:01 AM
I wasn't able to finish writing the words into the comic, so I was ORIGINALLY gonna cut the comic in half and leave it on a sweet cliffhanger and shove in the rest after voting, BUT then I realized I'm in a Retribution match and in order to win them Retribution points I need to depict sending Joey's lawless butt to the slammer... so I left the rest of the pages in silent. I'll release the fully scripted version after voting, for anyone who cares to wait for some reason, you can consider page 6 the intended cliffhanger page, otherwise, enjoy the pictures i guess

      Edited Jun 15 2018,  12:02 AM by PyrasTerran

Dechado
Artist
icon
222 comments
# 3   Posted: Jun 1 2018, 06:05 PM
I hate to do this, but Imma use an extension. Mom hasn't been doing well, and me being a fucking idiot, I couldn't juggle both things.
So, I'd prefer being helpful to my family instead of diving completely into my hobby.
Imma try to at least deliver -something-.

[EDIT]
Not even with the extension, basically a month, was I able to deliver much. My mom's health took a toll on me, and honestly all I did was take her to therapy, come back home, play for a little as a distraction, and go to bed.

Pyras, sorry bud, I know being apologetic ain't gon' fix anything, but I appreciate you helping me out despite my gloomy attitude to try and continue doing comics. For now, I am going to focus on my mother, and maybe then I'll return to VOID.
Thanks to everyone who's been a fan of Joey for so long, you're all the MVPs. Until then.


      Edited Jun 14 2018,  06:43 PM by Dechado

Kozispoon
Approval Committee
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940 comments
# 2   Posted: May 21 2018, 10:43 PM
Quit playing games with my heart, bros. >=[

Shen
Global Moderator
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1236 comments
# 1   Posted: May 19 2018, 09:59 PM
oh shit its back on MAKE IT SEXY, GENTS

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 3 weeks
Ended: Jun 22nd, 2018
Votes Cast: 9
Page Views: 809
Winner: PyrasTerran

 

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