Harlow Ironlocke vs. Trixie

Harlow Ironlocke vs. Trixie


328 points
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411 points
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Critiques & Comments
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ArtsandGoodies
Artist
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52 comments
# 15   Posted: Jun 8 2018, 03:41 PM
Thank you for all the crits, I'm really happy I was able to complete this in time since i still have a lot to figure out and thank you guys for giving me some directions to go in for improving stuff.

Also Pomo your comic is amazing in particular the color pallet you did for this is really nice and blends so well together. and I love the way you did Harlow the 3rd panel on page and I'm stealing that expression. also the way you did his paws is great as well and much better than the original ones i had and looks like less of a hassel to draw, ofcourse since Harlow tinkers with his hands he can have multiple versions.

Hellis
Artist
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145 comments
# 14   Posted: Jun 8 2018, 02:24 AM
Good battle both of you!  Short and sweet.

Arts: I can see improvement allready and you had nice depth to some of those pages. Just keep grinding at the basics like anatomy and look up artists whos backgrounds are generally more detailed. Study that stuff.

Pomo: Your stuff is always so good, Its hard to me to really find faults. I am in love with that last page.

Astrodile
Artist
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33 comments
# 13   Posted: Jun 7 2018, 11:50 PM
Fantastic battle y'all! Most people have already stated what I felt should be said, so really, I can only say what's great from both of these comics.

Arts! Your development compared to your introduction is obvious here, and you certainly did the best that you could within the given time and page limit. I enjoyed reading your story the most because of its comedic angle, and I'm glad that Harlow's first battle could be with a robot! Good stuff all in all, and Harlow has easily become quite the lovable character in my eyes.

Pomo, other people have already said how fantastic your comic was, and I can only second what they've said. These pages and the detailing you've put into the final page is just amazing, and I can't quite get over how adorable your characterization of Harlow is. Of course, Trixie is JUST as cute and also such a Look, and her speech was quite a good read. Excellent interaction, excellent comic overall!

DaniBot
Artist
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10 comments
# 12   Posted: Jun 7 2018, 08:25 PM
Congrats on getting your first battle up Arts! This was really entertaining to read on both your and Pomo's end.

Arts: From your sketches to your comic, I can see your improvement! There is always room for more though but I can tell you're going to get better and better from here. Harlow purring at meeting Trixie was too adorable! I'm super happy for you!

Pomo: I love your style so much! The colors that you picked contributed to what gave the comic a lighthearted feel to me. I agree with Kozi that it is nice to just see a meeting of two characters that seemed natural. It was also nice to see a conflict that ended peacefully, especially when Harlow didn't really mean any harm. All in all, I really enjoyed it and Trixie is super cute.


Happy July 16th! -Reecer6
Artist
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205 comments
# 11   Posted: Jun 6 2018, 04:25 PM
Articles: I do have to say, just from Merrick, you've super improved how you draw people since you first started applying for Void! You've still got a way to go though, but I really have no idea how, because you've got a lot of technical details down. Maybe too many? I really don't know.

Post-modernism: Aaaahhhhh I looooooove. Trixie standing up for herself is wonderful because we haven't really seen her face conflict in all her time with a body yet. The story is great and cute and a very obvious but important analogy. It rushes a bit to the climax but considering it's a 4-page comic trying for a full three acts that's to be expected. And that final page is GORGEOUS, you have such an outstanding eye for architectural details and I am so jealoussssssss. <3

      Edited Jun 6 2018,  04:26 PM by Happy July 16th! -Reecer6

Shen
Global Moderator
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1204 comments
# 10   Posted: Jun 2 2018, 04:40 PM
gosh, harlow and Trixie are both so cute~
Arts! Great first battle! I like how you went as ambitious as a mall. You were doing well to fill the backgrounds in at the beginning but at the end when we met Merrick, you may have considered padding his workshop a little more, more gadgets and parts, maybe less drab brown and grey. The anatomy is still a bit still but I know you're working on it so keep doing life drawings and practice. I like the composition on the second page as the panels narrow as his questions become more overwhelming. Cute story, keep working on the art!
PoMo!~ THAT LAST PAAAAGE Im in absolute awe, that came out so gorgeous! your art is so cute, I love Trixie's wig today and that is like the cutest harlow ever ugh i want to pinch his cheeks lol! i actually kind of felt bad when she went off on him though I understand why she did it, she snapped pretty hard i wonder if this was building up in her for a while and he was the last straw. But Im glad they made up!

Kozispoon
Approval Committee
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940 comments
# 9   Posted: Jun 2 2018, 01:46 PM
POMO- Ugh, your backgrounds are crazy superb. That last page I literally went 'wow' enjoying not only the neat angle, but semi fisheye you pulled off. Bravo.
I'll admit I wanted more, but all things considered, this was a cute little encounter, that, while it didn't really lead anywhere, made me smile. It made me think about the day to day of a voider and the chance encounters they have. I know the site has gone through a fad of 'encounter- fight!' as a reason characters get together, so it was nice to see something that felt natural. Their interaction flowed, from intro to conflict and resolution. Just really great. It also doesn't hurt Trixie is a doll and you made Harlow impossibly cute. The wiggly mouth panel on page 3 was my fav bit.

I'd be curious to know what treatments/effects you use on your pages. They always seem to have some tooth and texture to them I really enjoy. Especially dig your warm stark tones.

ARTANDGOODIES- Right off the bat, I'm wondering how many real life questions you peppered your opponent with to ensure you got all of Trixies answers on point. Bit of life imitating art? XD

Story wise, it made me chuckle. Both you and your opponent dealt with a Harlow who was fascinated by meeting a robot and between the two, I think yours was more successful. Trixie handing Harlow off to Merrick was both hilarious and a little devious!

Art wise, this will definitely need some work. Your backgrounds feel more like set dressing than a world people live in and interact with. It needs some grit and personality to feel inhabited. Also your reactions and emotions could use some work. A panel that sticks out to me is the 5th panel on page 3 has a close up of Trixie's face as she gets an idea. There is nothing there. The face is so static, if you removed the exposition bubble, you wouldn't know she had the sudden strike of inspiration. That's actually something to utilize in your battles moving forward. Draw up the page first without the dialogue and word bubbles. Do the behaviors and emotes work and make sense without words? Does the person actually look angry without the word bubble telling us so?

William_Duel
Community Manager
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878 comments
# 8   Posted: Jun 2 2018, 01:44 PM
I'll try and comment a little more later but I have a burning question.  
Pomo, on page 2, are they standing next to giant train tracks?

SirJellyRaptor
Artist
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31 comments
# 7   Posted: Jun 2 2018, 01:44 PM
Nice to see you get into your first battle, Arts. The first of many, I'm sure >w0)

You both went with a very similar concept, which was bound to happen seeing how Harlow is Harlow. It is interesting to see the different ways you went about it, though.

Arts, the onslaught of questions is exactly what I was expecting and despite it being the expectation it was still an entertaining read. I am interested to see what you'll do with future battles with robot characters, because while I expect Harlow will be just as inquisitive there needs to be something to set them all appart, otherwise we end up with a lot of the same comic. But back to the matter at hand. The art in this one shows some clear improvement from some of your patlst work. It's nice to see your hard work paying off. The forms of the characters could use some more work but you're already heading in the right direction. I would be careful in the future with layouts like page 2. It got a bit difficult to determine what order the dialogue was supposed to be read in. It took a bit longer to get through that page than it should have. All in all, this is solid work knowing where you're coming from. I know you said that 4 pages in a month is pushing your abilities and I'm glad you challenged yourself, you certainly Rose to the occasion.

Pomo your stuff is lovely as ever. It's good to see Trixie getting more content, there's honestly not enough of her on the site. I agree with Desi that the art is the clear selling point of this comic. You draw Harlow so gosh darn cute, it's unbearable Inna good way. That final splash is simply incredible. The story aspect is short and sweet. I personally wish there was a bit more too it be to that doesn't take away at all from what you have.

You both put good work in. This is a very good debut for the new character

Desichan
Artist
icon
120 comments
# 6   Posted: Jun 2 2018, 06:38 AM
Arts: It is no lie in saying your story had indeed quite a bit of entertainment and writing merit and yeah I voted the entertainment so high, because regardless of the bits of stuff you need to fix this was a good comic, this was super entertaining and I'm really impressed by you, and proud of you to see you here already!!! I feel like Pomo is one of those people that tells great stories and everyone knows it, and to have something that I personally think narratively stands out of these comics, is a great feat indeed.

Now onto the crit, there's a few things to work on, but nobody expects you to get better overnight. When the battle's over, just focus on a common critique, and maybe try to ask people for tips on how to improve that particular aspect, okay? Don't worry if you don't get it perfect right away. But anyway I feel like a major thing you'd want to work on is how you shape characters's bodies. Oftentimes it can be easiest to build characters up from simple shapes, and then use that as your guide. When doing this it helps you see the overall figure you have going for the character's body. I definitely recommend trying to perfect the proportions you draw characters at.

Alongside this, other notes but in my opinion more minor; Your backgrounds, while I'm impressed with the level of detail, seem a bit sterile and lifeless(your word bubbles are a bit so too). It's probably the extremely straight lines that lack a lot in line variation, but also you do have a tendency to place dull colors throughout them. Speaking of color, I do think it'd be a good idea overall to work on that but its not the biggest deal in the world.

ANYWAY I REALLY HOPE IT DOESN'T FEEL LIKE I'M GIVING TOO MUCH CRITIQUE CUZ I ACTUALLY REALLY LOVED YOUR COMIC, this just is some stuff to work on, and I'm tryna give examples on why and hows. Like please do not think I didn't think your comic was wonderful I super duper enjoyed it!!!

Pomo: Another amazing story, I can't recall a time where both stories in the comics were as impressive as these two, but although your story is great, I don't think that's 100% where this comic shines, whatsoever. Where you truly shine is in the art, your colors are fantastic I've stared at them for quite some time trying to pin down exactly the feel they give off, and how you made it function. I can't figure 100% out what it is BUT I REALLY LIKE IT! It's a technique that really suits your work! Your comic was truly and utterly adorable, to the last page! And yeah, honestly I can't think of really much criticism, cuz this is a very solid professional looking comic, and I'm happy to have the ability to read it.


BUT ANYWAY BOTH OF THESE COMICS ARE AMAZING AND YOU GUYS BOTH ROCK!

Radji
Artist
icon
460 comments
# 5   Posted: Jun 1 2018, 06:48 PM
Arts: i am very surprised to see myself appreciate your story much more than pocket's, but i did laugh at Trixie's sneaky way to get rid of that cat of yours.

Pocket:...It's very cute ! ( oh god i don't even know what else to say)

ArtsandGoodies
Artist
icon
52 comments
# 4   Posted: May 31 2018, 08:51 PM
Submitted my part, I'm happy I was able to do 4 pages in a month which is a lot for me since i haven't really been able to do much art honestly before and have been having to push myself.

However I am concerned about my process and my consistency. I feel like even with trying to fix many of the things i noticed wrong i still end up with consistency issues. Also for this comic I did pencils traditional than digital ink which worked terribly since most of the pencils ended up having to be completely redone which i feel defeats the purpose of it. so if someone could give me some advice in regards to the process or practicing consistency that would be helpful. I had fun and I hope this comic is good.

MrPr1993
Artist
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57 comments
# 3   Posted: May 5 2018, 11:35 AM
Yaaay

JayKat
Artist
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331 comments
# 2   Posted: May 3 2018, 10:02 PM
YAAAAASSS
SO HYPED

Pocketmouse
Think Tank
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91 comments
# 1   Posted: May 3 2018, 10:01 PM
Hi everyone! We've both agreed prior to the challenge being accepted that we're going to do four pages maximum in this battle :) just a heads up!

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 4 weeks
Ended: Jun 7th, 2018
Votes Cast: 19
Page Views: 466
Winner: Pocketmouse

 

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