Day 6 continued: after being off food and drink since 12 midnight and waiting with brace sliced open since before 7:00 am I am waiting to see if I am able to be squeezed into schedule for installation of external bracket
Starting to get worried because it is getting close to end of day for surgery and pain from leg swelling out of brace is proving to strong for meds to handle and if something isn't done I won't be able to sleep
Hospital is far from quiet, other patients on floor are frequently crying or screaming out from pain or dementia and staff themselves are shockingly loud at all hours.......not to mention regular patient checks every three hours for temperature, pulse & pressure as well as medication and injections....whether you are asleep or not.....and your roomate(s) are not necessarily on the same three hour block as so you also can't sleep or woken then too. Or if your new roomate is a deaf senile 81 year old man who refuses to wear his perfectly function hearing aids...and must have all conversations at top volume ALL day during 8to8 and all night with nurses.
Before 8:00pm they inform me that they are ready for me and transfer me in my bed down to Surgery...loose track of time while waiting in hallway and fall asleep....very quiet and dark..temperature is cold and comfortable....just as well...place is creepy...seems like a lesser used area and as I am starting to have hallucinations it is much worse
Woken up by nurse and anesthesiologist, go thru preliminary questions and within 20 min. Am on alien autopsy table strapped down due to my size and knocked unconscious...try to remain calm...still hallucinatinating a little bit
I am later told surgery took place over the next two and a half hours.....I am transferred back into bed while still unconscious and wheeled into postoperative recovery room....I am brought out of anesthetic hearing something about 'mexican food' & `cloning' and then I think they just cloned me while I am thrust into the worst pain I have ever felt in my life....I don't even have a sense of self or where I am......Just overwhelming pain.....after completely out of anesthetic I am progressively dosed with increasing amounts of pain medication....over the course of the next hour or so paid is doped away and using compartmentalization and other mental tricks I move past it and piece my pysche back together.....who am I...where am I....what is going on?....everything going was sweep away by pain and had to be put back
Stable...drink(oxygen tube in nose is making throat dry and sore)...food....SLEEP!!!
Very groggy...transferred back upstairs...vison blurry(no eyeglasses allowed during surgery) and REALLY stoned on whatever they pumped into me( "he'so a big guy...give him more if he is still in pain he can handle it)....but something is wrong once we get to floor...nurses are acting weird and people I have never met are getting out of chairs to look at me...is it drugs or is something really wrong?
Arrive in room and slowly become aware that roomate has had a psychotic break either due to meds or after surgery..and is now on 24 watch less than 10 feet away on other side of ridiculous curtain....while screaming and thrashing he manages to repeatedly tear out his oxygen and IV....next three hours unable to sleep as patient continues to try to hurt himself or nurses until he is lashed down to bed(after eigth time tearing out IV and backhanding nurse).
After situation is finally under control....I buzz nurse and ask to speak with head nurse....drug haze finally clearing and I want them to explain what the fuck is going on and why is he not in isolation.
No other beds...no other space..so no attempt to communicate with me was made.....Just dump me in room and keep our fingers crossed....he can't be moved and I can't be moved and hospital policy will not allow for me to quietly dumped in recent room or hallway.....calmly insist that either he is moved or I am moved by exactly 12 noon that very day or I no longer be calm and understanding and will ducking freak out beyond anything they have ever even dreamed of.....old man is still lashed to bed and thrashing and consulting...crying and screaming....sufficient time must have elapsed by 4:00 am....nurses knock him out and then I fall asleep until 7:00 when night nurse magically appears for first time since my return to floor only wake me to check my vitals.....which "oddly" enough are somewhat erratic.
Fall asleep again and am woken by sound of old man's older daughter shouting a conversation to father shortly after 8:00 am.....i begin to question myself as to why and how obvious magical properties of curtain make me invisible and destroy all notion of my presence from the minds of everyone around me.
Sunlight is strong...take photos of leg to stop myself from thoughts of how to kill everyone while completely unable get out of bed and still totally dependant on nurses for pretty much everything...If you don't yell at waitstaff in a restaurant for fear of what might be done to food...additional diplomacy just might be required here...maybe if I could somehow use this magic curtain for my own purposes
[img]www.spiritualtoxin.com/LegDay7c.jpg[/img
To be continued.....this really is both completely neccesary and selfishly for me....I need to write this out and know that people are seeing it.....so thank you for comments and comisserations .....unfortunately still more to come....photographs of surgery results and as promised a shifty drug haze comic and more drama yet to come
Insert really edgy and unique title here
Sirloin Steak vs. Buffy Blueberry
@ 4:24 AM Mar 29th