I\'m wondering if you could enhance certain scenes by changing \"camera\" angles. The panelling and such seems pretty straightforeward, and doesn\'t seem to match the slapstick happening within them. Does that make sense?
The other thing is some balloons and sound effects might have been placed better.. page 3, panel 3, it looks like the Z\'s are coming form the kitty\'s toothbrush. Same page last panel, It could be a little clearer who\'s speaking which bubbles.. personally, I think it looks a little sloppy when bubble tails have to reach the speaker from across the panel.
This was fun for a slice-of-life type of deal. I liked it ^^
Home sweet home / zaffeus
Critiques & Comments
# 8
Posted:
Mar 30 2008, 09:17 AM
# 7
Posted:
Mar 27 2008, 12:33 PM
haha i feel like i\'m missing on the continuity being newer to the site, but the general anime comedic style kept it an interesting read. and good to see you have the follow through to complete even after so long. given that span of time though, it could have used more intricate backgrounds & a bit more thorough toning given how clean the line work was. things felt a little sparse in places.
-J
-J
# 6
Posted:
Mar 27 2008, 11:46 AM
This was really cute and entertaining, and it looked fantastic! Really great job!
# 5
Posted:
Mar 25 2008, 07:50 PM
I don\'t remember your character (and haven\'t bothered to go back and read them yet) however I like this BB alot. Having Mize in it gives it bonus points with me. =P The whole house warming party thing is a little cliche\' but that\'s alright. Quality stuff.
# 4
Posted:
Mar 25 2008, 09:04 AM
Nice. I agree that adding a bit more atmosphere on your backgrounds, will help tons
# 3
Posted:
Mar 25 2008, 08:12 AM
Hehe, didn\'t think you\'d ever finish this^^ I\'m glad you did though. It\'s a very funny comic!
Great detail with the picture of Zaffe and Rok on the wall!
Great detail with the picture of Zaffe and Rok on the wall!
# 2
Posted:
Mar 24 2008, 07:17 PM
Ah, this is so fun and cute! I love the two cat-bois all excited to help \'celebrate\' him moving in. (Reminds me of when my friends had a \'house warming\' for me in Salem... so much booze...) The action between Mize and Zaf was great and I loved the ending. Really cute fun stuff.
However, like I did with good ol\' Felle... I\'m going to whine about the grammar and spelling. The mistakes here are similar Grammar-wise (you\'re vs your) and you put an extra \'t\' on \'got\'. But that\'s all easily fixed with having a friend read over the script or grabbing a friendly editor-type.
Nice to see ya back, man!
However, like I did with good ol\' Felle... I\'m going to whine about the grammar and spelling. The mistakes here are similar Grammar-wise (you\'re vs your) and you put an extra \'t\' on \'got\'. But that\'s all easily fixed with having a friend read over the script or grabbing a friendly editor-type.
Nice to see ya back, man!
# 1
Posted:
Mar 24 2008, 07:16 PM
Very nice to see you back dude! You really did a nice job with the character interaction and it was a pretty fun read. You\'ve improved since I last saw your art! I do however think you could spend some more time on your backgrounds, everything was looking pretty empty. Don\'t be afraid to give your backgrounds plenty of personality! Also be sure to watch your anatomy, the heads and necks were too large in a lot of panels so be careful with that. I hope you plan on sticking around this time!
Beyond Battle
Drawing Time:
1 week
Ended:
Mar 31st, 2008
Votes Cast:
26
Page Views:
2418
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Artist
The character designs themselves are great - attractive linework, and your composition is mostly pretty good. As Squiman said, you could vary angles a little, and that would help your art a lot.
I wouldn\'t mind additional background details. I\'m not good at that either so I can\'t complain, just suggest that it would be good to practice some. Interesting backgrounds would look sweet with your style of characters!