Eeeee~ Tsumi cameo~ ^_^ Good job both of you on having an interaction between your characters that has/is about a fight but also explains why it occurs. While there's plenty I'd say you have to work on for the construction of the characters fighting and placing them in space (cylinders yo) you might want to work on the gestures themselves while within an environment. Take a look at some cast shadows and see how connecting a character to the floor and giving them weight and a line of gravity can do a lot to make even the simplest movement feel like it's mid-motion, instead of a held pose for a camera.

Ronin- That body middle of page one is totally unreadable. I have no idea what that pose is at all. They're putting on a shirt? But none of that anatomy is correct at all (the chest and *our* left leg like???) Also page 5- she bends down, then is drinking something? That hand/bottle angle needs to be way higher. A lot of the drawings are okay but the staging could use work.

Rikun- Below it's mentioned those are finished inks? Some of those backgrounds either don't exist or are super rough sketches. Also Jira switches between scar and no scar. Everyone else pretty much said the rest.

Really sketchy & loose for 4+ weeks. There were a few places where it was a little too loose for me to get what I was looking at. I feel like both of you could've optimized the way you laid stuff out to give yourself less pages & thereby more time to draw.

The two things that bothered me with both though were backgrounds & compositions. On Jira's side it was real sparse. Or if there was an indication of the characters not existing in a sort of oblivion, things felt to fall more on a diagonal to give the idea of perspective rather than follow perspective. like the bottom of pg 3. Since we never see the ring in full, it's hard to establish if it's a square or octagon or something. But it looks really weird how that edge sticks out catty corner & doesn't kind of sit parallel to that back wall. Was there a reason for not establishing it? But also in that panel on page 3, it's weird how the one guy's drawn in perspective but one that doesn't match the ring post he's next to. Then there's the matter of the guy on the speedbag in the background. He seems to be at a higher elevation than the characters in the ring. it's wonky. There's also the matter of how you framed things too. Things are either super tight or zoomed out way wide. And most things fall dead center in the frame. All of that kind of works against making a dynamic comic in that if it's super tight, we've got to kind of decypher what it is we're seeing. Or there's so much negative space happening, it gets boring. And just little things. Like bottom of page 5. If we're looking up at him, he'd be more imposing than looking down on him. It would also be more interesting (& establish the area they're going to spar) if we were wider & could see it from over her shoulder or something. Then she's not talking off panel awkwardly. From a fight choreography sense there's no sense of flow. That following page has her mid spin with her elbow swinging towards him. But the next panel she's facing him with millimeters of distance between them. Did she whiff? is she still mid move (if so why's she turned around, with her hair moving in the other direction)? Then, the next panel he's doing this power build up. But he's up in her grill. Where's that room coming from suddenly? See, the way you're cropping the shots is losing tons of information, & whether it's because you're looking to draw less, or just not putting the thought in, it works against the type of comic you're trying to do here.

rikun, on your side it's the same sort of thing. It's a lot of the same compositions. If you're not showing us a talking head, it's a lot of mid shots, waist up. And when you do zoom out for certain shots, they feel like they're almost at the same distance. It just feels same-y to me. I see you're trying with the perspective in the backgrounds. Now this may be a time thing on your end, but it was 4+ weeks. I think people here stress backgrounds & perspective so often (myself included) that people thing that some box shapes drawn in that kind of an arrangement automatically means background. Not everything's a geometric shape. Give things some character. Make it looked lived in. Don't draw the lines for the sake of drawing lines. In that same vein I think you're allowing the perspective lines you set up to rule your composition rather than the making your position dictate the way we see the world, if that makes sense. We get these real stark angles on things that just scream 'perspective homework' more than a well balanced shot. take that bottom of page 4. Your characters are kind of dead center in that frame. You're cropping the edges of the rooftop. It boxes in a shot where your character is talking about the space. But it seems like a relaxing place. Why show it on an angle. I'm not saying make it flat on perspective shot, but why go with the angle you did? Then there's the hallway in the middle of page 2. You've kind of got this basic 1 point thing happening, but it's a little disconnected from the character. It feels like the shot should be off center, but the perspective lines up looking straight down the hall. It also looks a little uphill to be honest. Hope that makes sense.

It's great to see old characters return, and these are decent enough though they still need some work in completedness as Shen and Kozi have brought up. It's kinda disappointing that for 4 weeks y'all couldn't even get your lines completed

Such is such though, hope to see improvements in future comics!

my crits for everyone more or less echo Kozi's. Ronin, I feel like you were leading up to this big emotional reunion between Jira and Itami when he finally unmasks and she tears up, but ten that was the end and I was kind of sad ^^; and I also thought he had a tail on page 1 there, I can't quite figure out what I'm looking at lol. You already know this lacks in backgrounds and Kozi already mentioned no one stays on model very well but I like the relationship you've given all the characters and how you portray Itami, I just wish we could have had more of it!
Rikun, you already know this came out a little sketchy and unfinished looking but at least its a complete story so I'll grant you that haha. you're expressions start out strong but as the comic goes they begin to simplify, and your backgrounds more or less vanish. But I do like the relationship here, Jira and Itami waxing nostalgia on the rooftop and how we can see Itami maturing a little as a person, so thats nice. I think your writing is improving! Can't wait to see what you do with her next!

I can't help but notice that with four weeks AND an extension to work on this battle, the both ya's look like you produced some pretty unfinished/in progress work. What happened? :/

RONIN- Aww snap, fight with Vega! Also a little confused, but I'm guessing that's because your characters aren't quite on model throughout your pages. Is that Jira on the first page? For a second I thought it was Tsumi based on the bulk of the character, but the telltale facial scar *is* there. Then I noticed what looked to be a tail? I had to give your characters design sheet a second look to see if that had always been there. When we fast forward to page 6 Jira is tall and lanky again and doesn't have a tail. I has a confuse. It's obvious your fighter has a past with Itami, but I feel that impact falls kind of flat as a new reader. Comics are writing just as much as they are visuals. I would've loved to have seen a flashback, or something more intriguing for a backdrop to Itami's dialogue about the good old days besides the sparse gym. Maybe then Jira's reveal may of packed that extra punch you were looking for.
Seems obvious life tossed you a curveball with your time management and comic quality, but kudos on getting a complete story up!

RIKUN- When I popped into the hangout to see this comic in the making I assumed this was just your sketch layer. I had no idea these were your final inks. What happened? With a month and some change to work on 10 pages, I would've at least figured to see some fully rendered pages. I has a sad.
I do like Itami's character in this though. She's sassy, brash and a little bit of a brat. Poor Wu- she has the patience of a saint. Its also obvious from the two of these battles that your fighters have a history. What bums me out is that in both battles we as readers don't really get that emotional payoff. I'm guessing Itami hasn't seen this guy for quite some time. She see's him at the door and her first reaction is to shove food in his hands and leave. Why? What happened between them that she feels she can't be around him? When he invites her in, why is she suddenly so chummy and comfortable? I feel like we missed a page or two explaining what went on XD
Your flashback to the good old days was great, but kind of a bummer because the pages with all the cool fighting and posing is soo rough seeing as you only have basic shapes depicted. I certainly hope you come back to this battle and tighten it up since I really think the development in the last few pages was super intriguing.

Better luck next time you two!

Self Crit now that Im staring at the pages:
-More background lovin'
-Too much white
Didnt get to dump as much time into this as I would have liked to. I almost feel like I need to JUST draw backgrounds for a while to knock this rut out.

Sorry for the delay, needed to extend this bad boy.

ohhh!!! Good luck, I'm excited for this!!!