Desi: Yoooo, visually, this whole comic is super striking and leans super comfortably into your style! There are still places where placement feels a bit flat or sloppy, but for instance page 1 panel 5 is real strong in showing volume. What I WILL criticize is that the comic ends very suddenly and out of nowhere, and also we really don't understand who Detroit is at all or what he does yet? He feels very arbitrarily plopped in, while I was expecting at least a little explanation for him.
PR: I appreciate that you going for pixel art has morphed into basically just aliased brush work, because I love aliased brushes! It's weird though because on some panels, I feel like your style is super tight and conveys exactly what you want (e.g. page 1 panel 4 or page 2 panel 2), while on others it's failing for me, I think generally where there isn't as much line width variation. The appearance of the assassins and their incongruous designs is a bit too lol so random for me, though, they don't read as anything until Fawn says they're "goons." I'll also criticize the fact that reading order on page 3 is very unclear, just in general? Like, both between panels, and also just within the dialogue of that first panel, I can't figure out what way I'm supposed to read that even in hindsight. Still a good comic!
Detroit vs. Cassidy Madson
Critiques & Comments
# 7
Posted:
Aug 8 2018, 08:19 PM
# 6
Posted:
Aug 8 2018, 04:39 PM
Desi: The way you drew Cassidy was a lot of fun, and she makes a good visual contrast. The more these deep colors have a chance to show up in your comics as a counterbalance, the more the pastels really shine. You're also getting better at placing the characters in environments. I have to say that I didn't realize what was happening the first time around, I think because I didn't realize that Cassidy was making a robot (the framing just made it look like any piece of machinery).
MRPR1993: In which Cassidy is the villain, but winds up accidentally being the "hero." The more I look at that gang the more I crack up. It could use a bit of work on the perspective, and on the environment, but even without much environment there are still fun things going on in the background that are visually entertaining, even if things are kind of stacking up in a way that can be confusing at first.
MRPR1993: In which Cassidy is the villain, but winds up accidentally being the "hero." The more I look at that gang the more I crack up. It could use a bit of work on the perspective, and on the environment, but even without much environment there are still fun things going on in the background that are visually entertaining, even if things are kind of stacking up in a way that can be confusing at first.
# 5
Posted:
Aug 6 2018, 07:44 PM
Desi: The backgrounds are so much improved! especially on page 1, theres way more of a sense of space and depth! Cassidy's colour theme works really well into Fawn's bright, snowy world and you draw her so adorably sinister! Their collab candy robot was adorable, i kind of want to see way more of fawn and Cassidy since they play off each other really well! My biggest note would be to keep in mind the overall flow of the page as sometimes i dont know which panel comes next and which word bubble to read first, especially on page 1.
Mrpr: The end of this was my favorite part, I love the idea of cassidy not knowing what to do with friendship tokens! I think you could have made the palette a bit brighter, these two are pink and purple and red its so bright but the backgrounds are a bit grimy. The shades you used themselves arent bad but maybe some brighter accent points to match the characters better. You gotta treat the backgrounds as part of the story a little more.
CAN THESE TWO BE FRIENDS I DEMAND MORE PLAYDATES
Mrpr: The end of this was my favorite part, I love the idea of cassidy not knowing what to do with friendship tokens! I think you could have made the palette a bit brighter, these two are pink and purple and red its so bright but the backgrounds are a bit grimy. The shades you used themselves arent bad but maybe some brighter accent points to match the characters better. You gotta treat the backgrounds as part of the story a little more.
CAN THESE TWO BE FRIENDS I DEMAND MORE PLAYDATES
# 4
Posted:
Aug 4 2018, 07:45 PM
Good job both of you with this comic and both stories were nice, I will say one thing you both did in a panel where the word bubble tail gets caught under a panel border which is a bit confusing and next time it would be better for the bubbles to supersede the panels.
Desi: Your background are such a massive step up, in particular panel 2 on page one is super good sicne you could have just had the window be like blacked our or something but you didn't and it looks amazing, so very good job on that panel in particular. Also I like how you mix up your panels and I think it overall works pretty well, though the inconsistent font size is a bit distracting. There are some sites where you can make your own font for free so I would recommend looking up one of those and making your own font cause your hand writing is a pretty cool font thing.
MRPR: The background character you put in this were pretty cool but I do wish that the background was a little more solidified. My main issue is that all thsoe characters appear in a place where there was a building location wise in the previous panel, and that building just seems to go away when the characters show up. If they showed up like on the reverse side this wouldn't really be much of an issue, it's just the perspective of these panels results in that building going away and the characters just being there. besides that this was a pretty silly comic that was enjoyable.
Desi: Your background are such a massive step up, in particular panel 2 on page one is super good sicne you could have just had the window be like blacked our or something but you didn't and it looks amazing, so very good job on that panel in particular. Also I like how you mix up your panels and I think it overall works pretty well, though the inconsistent font size is a bit distracting. There are some sites where you can make your own font for free so I would recommend looking up one of those and making your own font cause your hand writing is a pretty cool font thing.
MRPR: The background character you put in this were pretty cool but I do wish that the background was a little more solidified. My main issue is that all thsoe characters appear in a place where there was a building location wise in the previous panel, and that building just seems to go away when the characters show up. If they showed up like on the reverse side this wouldn't really be much of an issue, it's just the perspective of these panels results in that building going away and the characters just being there. besides that this was a pretty silly comic that was enjoyable.
# 2
Posted:
Aug 1 2018, 02:06 PM
sUBMITTED AND HYPE TO READ YOUR COMIC MRPR
# 1
Posted:
Jul 30 2018, 08:43 AM
HYPE!
Regular Match
Drawing Time:
1 week
Ended:
Aug 8th, 2018
Votes Cast:
14
Page Views:
1615
Winner:
Desichan
einsam
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Artist
MrPr: Watch out when you have your background colors so close to the same shades as your characters, some of the characters start blending into the background. Practice more with your lettering placement, page 3 panel 1 is confusing to read
Good job both of you for making finished 3-page comics~