[K.G.]

Hey guys!
I'm new to the forum here... I just loved the site and decided to try some battles
For now I just want some feedback on my character before I send my submission...Still roughs...
Some thumbnails for the intro pages will also be up soon ^^

Name: Hugen Das
Age: 24
Height: 5’11
Gender: Male

History:
Hugen Das is a class A magician in his dimension and works against the dark beings that keep disturbing the order there.
He became a magician when his father retired and he inherited his magical itens. he was also trained by his father.
One day, some dark lord appeared and killed many of his friends, so he was forced to use a forbidden spell and opened a gate to other dimensions, sucking him as well.
He ended up in Void City and now he has to accumulate energy enough to go back to his world.

Personality: Serious when in battle, gentle with people in general, shy around girls.
Likes: Gaze the stars, watch the nature, silence
Dislikes: when he needs to pack, cold bath, being sick.
Abilities: Hugen is able to cast many types of magic, like firebolts, thunder, make ice walls... but he has mastered gravity spells.
his signature spell is "Gravity Slash": He uses his staff to slash enemies with a high condensed gravity blade that slashes space-time. Has a range of 10 meters

[Mister Kent]

Welcome, KG! I like your style, and it's a pretty cool concept. I think his weapon looks cool and unique so far--I look forward to seeing it in action.

[K.G.]

Thanks Mister KENT!
I'm working on the intro pages! Soon I'll post some roughs..

Here is an update for the character design... I got it clean

[K.G.]

ok, here is a preview of the first page from the intro story...  I wish I could get all pages finished, but work is taking all my time by now... Hope I'll be done by the end of the month...

[Gregly]

that's looking pretty nice so far! but i'll say the background in the first and second panels might need to be a bit stronger. also a bit nit picky but the demon guy in the last panel should probably be a bit more in the foreground, he seems a little small right now. looking forward to seeing the rest of your pages!

[K.G.]

that's looking pretty nice so far! but i'll say the background in the first and second panels might need to be a bit stronger. also a bit nit picky but the demon guy in the last panel should probably be a bit more in the foreground, he seems a little small right now. looking forward to seeing the rest of your pages!

Hey! Thanks, Gregly!!
Yeah... When the comic is on your own mind everything is clearer... haha! It's hard to get others to see it.. :p
 I'll rework the BGs on those panels and consider the suggestion on the last panel...
Again, thanks for the feedback!

[Mister Kent]

Nice so far! I think Gregly made a good point about the depth in the last panel. The wide middle panel has such a good depth to it that the last panel seems flat in comparison.

Keep it up!

[K.G.]

OK, I've been reworking the intro story since the last post... I got less lousy on it too.. haha
here is a preview...
I guess I'll just finish all the roughs I have and submit... can't wait to start battling around!!



And here is the guy in color...

[Pennydox]

wonderful! Just curious, but did you use a photograph or premade comic tone for the background mountain and trees?

[Wei Ingnan]

there is certainly a disconnect between elements....the photo(on more than one level) and pre-madescreentones, sound effects font/style and artwork don't match or blend together

[K.G.]

wonderful! Just curious, but did you use a photograph or premade comic tone for the background mountain and trees?

Thank you, pineapple!
I got less lousy but not less lazy! Hahahaha!  If you google "castle" you will see.. hahaha!
I took the picture and changed the blend mode to threshold,  and did some pen rendering over it... Using Manga Studio 5... helps a little with tones and stuff like that..

@Wei, thanks for the feedback! I'll look for that when working on the other pages

[Rah]

I'd advise against using photos for backgrounds, no matter how many filters you apply to it. I'm sure everyone would definitely recommend drawing the castle yourself. It's okay to use the photograph(s) as reference, and there's plenty of people and resources on here that can help you to learn to draw backgrounds and perspective.
The main reasons being, firstly you'll find it difficult to draw other backgrounds in comics when you come to it if you are lax on it now. You have plenty of time to do your intro story so there's no point cutting corners. Second, like Wei said, the styles don't blend and it sticks out like a sore thumb against your other panels. Third, photos off google are not always royalty free and you could be using someone's work without permission. And lastly, it can come across as kinda lazy... especially if someone you are battling has slaved away drawing their backgrounds out themselves and you've just placed photos with filters into your panels.

But I like the look of the character and you've got some interesting, dynamic panels in there so it'd be interesting to see your finished intro!

[K.G.]

@Becs
Thank you for the feedback! I'll definitely take it into account on future works

[Red]

Definitely no photos I would advise that if you plan on submitting that page that you at least re-do the castle panel.
Your work is pretty solid, but I'll give you the advice I've given a lot of people. And that is to try to make your comic work as well as possible before you add effects/shading/color/tones/whatever. Try to make your lines as best as they can be. Without the tones you added your comic would not stand up as well.
I feel like you'd benefit from using more solid black and varied line widths. I really like your page layouts, keep it up!

[K.G.]

Definitely no photos I would advise that if you plan on submitting that page that you at least re-do the castle panel.
Your work is pretty solid, but I'll give you the advice I've given a lot of people. And that is to try to make your comic work as well as possible before you add effects/shading/color/tones/whatever. Try to make your lines as best as they can be. Without the tones you added your comic would not stand up as well.
I feel like you'd benefit from using more solid black and varied line widths. I really like your page layouts, keep it up!

Thanks for the feedback!
Yeah, I'm reworking that first panel... a.. bit... :p
but I'll try to make it less "picturized" as it is on that preview...
And I'll definetely be using more solid black tones, like this first panel from page 2






(I want to get done soon, but all the feedbacks are being very valuable! Inspires me to push me to give my best )

[K.G.]

Ok, last update before submission...
Just have to do one extra page and I'll be done...
I've been experiment A LOT these past weeks and working to get something good for me...
(still have to finish lettering and SFX...)

Feedbacks appreciated!