@Banana cute idea for a short story. I have a few quick critiques on the art that revolve mostly around readability. The line thickness for everything is almost always the same, which can make it hard to distinguish from characters and backgrounds. Varying up the thickness can really help make your characters stand out more. I have a few issues with some of the dialog. The news forecast didn't need to be cut off at the beginning. It is a bit distracting. Other than that when the characters interacted it felt natural, and very well written. So all in all take a little more time to fine tune the art, and you will be good.
@Elge The story is well paced. I really liked the montage of photo taking. On the art front, clean up thous stray rough lines! Your art looks nice, but its hard to see when there is a huge circle next to their heads. Also the last panel is a bit hard to tell who is talking. So try and figure out a way in the future to illustrate who is talking.
good job you two! cant wait to see what you do next
Abigail Lynnhaven vs. Paavo
Critiques & Comments
# 5
Posted:
Jul 31 2016, 11:36 PM
# 4
Posted:
Jul 30 2016, 10:10 AM
lol i really liked both! both were pretty darn funny and cute! keep it at it you two!
# 3
Posted:
Jul 30 2016, 06:37 AM
somebody gonna get dat collar, hehehhe
Abi has no survival instincts.
Abi has no survival instincts.
# 2
Posted:
Jul 15 2016, 11:49 AM
man, Paavo sure is active those days !
i'm rooting for you both !!
i'm rooting for you both !!
# 1
Posted:
Jul 15 2016, 11:44 AM
yeah!! good luck!!
Regular Match
Drawing Time:
2 weeks
Ended:
Aug 4th, 2016
Votes Cast:
20
Page Views:
1551
Winner:
Nana-Banana
einsam
Colbitzer
@ 3:32 PM Apr 17th
Birthright
Saal, Louise Ambre-Aliona, and Llaana
@ 3:44 PM Apr 16th
Help Needed
Theakon
@ 2:19 PM Apr 16th
The Great Switcheroo
Louise Ambre-Aliona vs. Luniel Gekka
@ 3:26 AM Apr 15th
The Great Switcheroo
Colbitzer vs. Veruca Chance
@ 5:22 PM Apr 14th
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